When my dreams disappeared because of fear.

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3 years ago

I was crying when I read the article of @molivs entitled How did I ended up to be a teacher.

By the way , molivs is my cousin. She's the only cousin of mine that I can say I am closed to. I was crying while reading her article as it reminded me of my experiences when I was studying and how I end up being an undergraduate. One of the thing I regret the most is that I didn't got a degree and I didn't end up on the course that I really want because of being a girl with no confidence and afraid to explore and be out on her comfort zone.

Like what I said on my comment on her article. Our Aunt told me " Dapat nagteacher ka nalang tulad ni Jurie ( molivs) at Entang , sana malaki yung sweldo mo dito kadin pala sa probinsya mag stay" . To be honest I feel so small about myself everytime they compared me to my cousins but I acted normally and just smiled at them or said " Kaya nga e". How I wish I can turn back time but I can't. And even if I can , I am not going to change any of it because maybe I will not be here now and I will not experienced all of the things I shared here with you.


Like my cousin , I also love science. That's my favorite subject back then and because of our biology teacher Ma'am Victorio , I got an idea on what course to be take in college. I want to take BS Biology because I want to study about life.

When I was in fourth year High School , the younger sister of my godfather told my parents that maybe I can consider to take an entrance exam in PUP Sta. Mesa because the tuition fee there is almost free. I went to Manila to take the entrance exam even if I didn't know what will my destiny when I study there. I went to the university alone and asking questions is my only weapon to survive that entrance exam. I am ready for the exam and I am confident that I will going to passed it and I am right. I passed the PUPCET with an average of 93 and Ate Mara told me that I got a high score.

I have no idea what course to take and Ate Mara said , choose the course that is in bracket on the average you get and I look for courses that fall on my average. Ate Mara was taking up Marketing that time and she said maybe I can consider Marketing too. I said that I will going to think about it and I will decide once the enrollment going.

During the enrollment , I still have no decision what course I will going to enroll until I found myself fall in line with BSBiology applicants. I know my parents don't want me to take that course because they asked me what job I can apply when I finished it and it's not known like the other courses but I still choose that course because that's what I love.

I enrolled that course and only pay 915 pesos for one semester.

First day of school happened and as a province girl I am so scared to approach people as I am so shy that time. It's the third day of school when I decided to quit because of fear. Fear that I can't engaged to my classmates well because they all look like city kid. Yes , I wasted all my efforts since my entrance exam and enrollment. I even lied to my parents about the reason why I quit and I told them that the course I take was expensive even if it is not. I quit that course without proper dismissal that's why all of my credentials were in the university and I didn't retrieve it all.

Because of that incident , I stopped for one year but I choose to enroll vocational course in one of the Tesda Accredited Training Center in Paranaque and I enrolled Computer Secretarial. Because of that I learned how to used computer well because I have no knowledge of using it way back. I learned how to used Microsoft Offices well and also troubleshooting. After a couple of months studying I didn't notice that the next school year is coming and I need to think about where I study.

I have two options that time. It's either Technological University of the Philippines or Taguig City University because we rent an apartment in Taguig. I inquire in TUP that time and they said they only accepted Form 138 which is the report card and they didn't accept Form 137 and because of that I removed TUP on my list. My only hope that time was in TCU but our neighborhood said that university is not good and because of that I lost my interest on enrolling to that university.

I decided to be back on our province and inquire on a university near our hometown which is Nueva Ecija University of Science and Technology , that's also the school where my cousin Molivs graduated and found out that they are accepting form 137 and because of that I decided to enroll there even if it's against my wants because I want to study in Manila.

During the enrollment I asked the registrar admin if what is the best course they can offer on the university and they said it's BSIT thats why I choose that course even if I have no idea what will happened to me if I choose that course. All I know is that IT is indemand that time. When I enrolled that course I find out that this is not the best course but it is the course that the majority of the students take and the best course in that university is Education as per my observation.

I want to shift in Education but because I don't want to be irregular student I just stick from being an IT student. I only took up two year course because of some reason and that's an another story.

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3 years ago

Comments

Sakin talaga Criminology sana ee. Kaso mo di kakayanin, kaya dun tayo sa mas mura at malapit sa bahay. Practical nalang para sa ikauunlad ng economy. Nagustuhan ko naman ang BSIT tbh, yon lang di ako masyadong nagseryso sa pag aaral siguro kasi nakaka bored yong prof namin sa major subject. Maigi pa dun sa minor lang na subject mas marami natututunan kasi magaling ang prof. Kaso dun sa ano, tsk. Pero kaslanan ko din talaga bat wala ako masyado natutunan ee. Saka same samin, sa isang PC dalawa ang gagamit, diba ang iba. Di pa kasi ganon kayaman sa PUP gawa ng ilang years palang sya naitatayo non. Aigoio.

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3 years ago

Madami tlga reason bakit Hindi Tayo napupunta sa gusto natin tlga no

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Mommy BSIT din po ako and I couldn't say that IT is not a good course. We are leaving in a modern world where technology walks our way through life. Without many AI around the world, we'll never know the world of Crypto and also these blogging sites. IT is an in-demand course nowadays though

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3 years ago

Maganda Naman talaga kaso Yung point ko diko gusto haha. Wala Naman akong natutunan sa IT πŸ˜‚ Dinga ako marunong magcode

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

aigoooo pag di mo kasi talaga gusto wala ka talagang matututunan

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3 years ago

Oo haha . Saka kulang din sila sa facilities , laborator namin non twice a week Lang yata tapos dalawa pa kami sa pc. Pero Sabi nga nung kaibigam ko ng nag graduate Naman sa tup , Wala man dinndaw sa school Yan. Kasi need mo tlga mag explore outside e kaso Wala naman kami pc non saka diko talaga hilig. Ayun nganga , buti nga nakapasok sa corporate world kahit papano may naipagmalaki haha

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

hahaha pag di mo talaga hilig di ka magiging interisadong mag explore

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3 years ago

Ako naman Business Ad unang course .. Tapus nakits ko si crush sa com sci department kya nag shift ajo dun.. 🀣🀣 irrational decision ended up regretting everything.. Lol... At least may pinag aralan kan..kahit hndi man tapus, basta may hndi illiterate yun ang mahalaga

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3 years ago

WAHAHAHAHAHA, grabi madam dahil pala kay kwash πŸ™ŠπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Hayssss. Bakit Kaya ganon no haha.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

ako gusto ko maging nurse pero di kaya ng budget kaya nag BA nalang ako no choice eh hahha

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3 years ago

Nakakairita minsan pag kinokompara tayo. Dapat ganto ka gaya ni ano. Parang sarap sakalin eh. Haha! Pero syempre mabait tayo eh gaya mo. Dami mong napagdaanan.

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3 years ago

Gets ko Naman point ng tita ko , kaya naiintindihan ko Naman sya

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

All that I can say is, ang dami mong pinag-daanan, Ate. Pero grabe 'yung sinabi 'nung Aunt mo sayo ah. 'Yan ang pinaka-ayoko eh. 'Yung pasimpleng naii-compare? A big no no no sa akin yan. Haha

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3 years ago

Sa kanya Kasi ako tumira nun college ako , sya nagbibigay ng allowance ko nun kapalit ng pag stay ko sa kanila. Siguro nanghihinayang lang din sya.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Hehe ako, si tatay pumili ng course ko haha πŸ˜… apakahirap pero kinaya naman. Pede ka pa naman po magteacher, yung classmate ko na engr na din nagtake ng online class ayaw niya ata magengr kaya nagteacher siya hehe ayun registered teaxher na din. Sa online class siya nagaral.

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3 years ago

Iniisip ko din yan ngayon Lalo ngayon online class Hindi hassle pero iniisip ko pa Kung ipupush ko. May pup din Kasi dito malapit samin mura Lang tuition.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Hehe aral na! Kahit pa unti unti. Hehe

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3 years ago

OUCH.. I reminisce my past, ako din I entered collage without knowing howto cook and do my laundry, grabe ang hirap ng adjustment ko noon. Gusto ko na din mag give-up pero I just enjoyed and face my fears of leaving the house and live independently.. Yun lang naman LOL

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3 years ago

Sana all Kaya iface ang fear huhu.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Nakakakaba po magcollege hehe. Yun po yung naging findings ko sa pagkabasa ko ng article niyo ate hehe

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3 years ago

Baka naman nape-pressure ka na sa mga articles namin about college life, @kingofreview ah.

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3 years ago

Hindi naman Basta alamin mo Lang talaga Kung ano gusto mo. Ako kasi noon mahina loob. Masyado ko nanliit sa sarili ko Kasi nga probinsyana ko feeling ko OP ako sa klase which is talagang pinagsisihan ko bakit di ako naging matapang.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Di ko po alam kung ano mangyayari sa clsu journey ko next year😭😭😭😭😭

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3 years ago

Kaya mo Yan . Mga competitive naman kayo e.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Hala malapit kadin pala sa taguig ate? Ako kase sa TUP nagaaral ngayon pero di ko bet ung course ko, napilitan lng kase wlaa ng slot.😒😒Ayown tag hirap ako kase electrical ba naman, wala pa naman ako kaalam alam sa electrical.

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3 years ago

Hehe kaya mo yaaaan! Maganda yang course mo :)

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3 years ago

Oo hehe. Sa may EP Village kami , Yung mga tricycle na green sa gilid ng TUP

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

ay magkapit bahay pala tayo ateee Yennnn❀❀❀❀sa housing phase 1 lng ako...

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3 years ago

Phase 1 din ako haha. Block 35 πŸ˜‚ Yung pinkadulo haha

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

hala dun po ba sa yellow na gate????

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3 years ago

Yes hahahaha. Yung bago umakyat

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

ay halaaa hahaah kaya kita puntahan jan ate bukas kase magkastreet lng tayoooo..

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3 years ago

Block 35 kadin ?

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Dito na ako sa province now hehe for good. Pero mga tito nandyan pa sa street nila 3 sister πŸ˜‚

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago