How did I ended up to be a teacher?

“Teaching is the only profession that creates other profession”, this quotation may be heard over and over again but it is true right? There would be no other professions without teaching in any way. To be a teacher is far from what I dreamed for (I want to be a Doctor but can't afford hehe). Before, I couldn’t imagined that I will be one in this field of teaching. When I was in primary education, there were thousands of reasons on what I want to be in the future. It is quite understandable because in this stage of education, children are starting to imagine and nurture themselves on the things that they wanted to do. There was certain activity given by our teacher that questioned us, “When the time comes, what dream do you want to be? What work are you capable of? As far as I remember, I answered, “I want to be a nurse. My teacher asked: “Why would you want to be a nurse? “Gusto ko pong maging nurse para makatulong sa mga taong maysakit at maalagaan ang aking pamilya” that was my answer, a very usual answer coming from an elementary student. But they do say that, as time goes on, people's preferences change.

After my wonderful elementary years, I entered secondary years. These were the years of enjoyment, sorrow, happiness and time of great things as I welcomed my teenage years. This was the stage of discovery and exploration of new things to make our high school life more memorable. Moreover, during this time is also the expanding of our world because we had met different people with different experiences. It is the time where peer groups and circle of friends are created and valued; I agree with that because I am one of those. In this season, I really enjoyed every moment of my high school life. I tried cutting classes, wandering around class time, borrowing notes, had 0-score in exams, role playing, laugh as much as we could, playing with classmates and friends, mutual understandings, even learning to drink liquor was one of the highlight moments during high school. However, beyond enjoyment, I make myself sure to study well to pass. Did you know my favorite quotation during my high school days? That is “Study well, not study hard”. Don’t make me wrong because we have different perspectives in studying. To give my reason, I am just an average student that time. My routine was studying and learning while enjoying my life as high school student. I wanted to enjoy this stage to gain memories, friendship, camaraderie and new things that will surely give happiness within my soul. So, I must say, I really enjoyed my high school life and treasure those moments to be cherished. When I was in 4th year, everyone was preparing into the next chapter of our lives—the college journey. That time, I have no any idea what course should I take. I was just in a blank space where I could not find what I really want to be, a nobody for the near future.

After graduation, everybody was so busy in preparing themselves in college admission test. My classmates and friends had their school and courses to study with. It became lesser communication and belonginess because they were focus on entering this journey. What about me? I was still searching the school and the course that would suit me. During those times, I was self-loathing. I felt a bit of pressure because I was still here, hanging and thinking of everything while others are about to begin. Until the moment I asked my parents, my mother specifically. I did not remember the full details but idea of the conversation went like this:

Me: “Ma, malapit na pasukan. Yung mga classmates ko meron na silang course at school. Ako kaya, papano?”

Her: “Ano ba gusto mong course? Saan mo ba gustong mag-aral?

Me: “Hindi ko po alam parehas” (teary-eyed)

As the days passed by, one friend of mine contacted me. We talked about the happenings and plans in entering college. She suggested that why I don’t try schools in Manila and pick a course certainly. Due to chaotic thinking, I risked myself to go in Manila. I tried Polytechnic University of the Philippines in Sta. Mesa Manila, University of Manila, Unibersidad de Manila and Pamantasan Lungsod ng Manila. I even tried to inquire in University of the East, Manila, if they offered scholarship because I cannot afford the school services (they offered scholarship but I have no assurance on the cost of studying in Manila). Enrolment and inquiring mostly in the schools were closed and already full. Several weeks of searching, I felt tired and hopeless that I could ably study because it was the last week of May before the opening of the class in June. While stunned by the absence, I cried and cried and cried and cried. I was starting doubting myself, why can’t I have choices? Why can’t I have course to study? Why can’t I have the interest? Why I feel so empty? The tears were continued to fall until I fell asleep (that time, I was stayed in the house of my aunt in Sta. Mesa). The morning came well, I called my mama and papa wherein they were in Taguig for vacation.

Me: “Ma, Pa, wala akong nakitang school at course dito sa Manila. June na nextweek, baka hindi ako makapagenrol at makapag-aral” (I was terribly anxious that time).

Papa: “Nak, uwi ka nalang sa probinsya, doon ka nalang mag-aral. Diba si ate entang mo teacher? Don ka nalang din kaya mag-enrol sa eskwelahan niya?”

Me: “Yes Pa, teacher siya. Alam ko sa San Isidro siya nag-aral pero hindi ko alam ang pangalan ng school niya”

Mama: “Oo nga jure, mag-teacher ka kaya? Umuwi ka na ngayon at pumunta ka sa school na pinag-aralan ni entang. May naipon naman kami na pang-enrol mo na. Ibibigay ko na sayo pag-uwi mo. Kaysa hindi ka makapag-aral”.

Papa: “Gumayak ka na, susunduin na kita jan sa Tita Bebe mo”.

And that time, I seized the opportunity to continue my study.

It was the time which I saw hope and aspiration, a big thanks to my parents. She had point that in order to continue my studies, I have choice which is Education as my course. I went back on the province and while the long drive was fascinating, I reflected on the things that challenged me. Maybe studying in Manila was no opportunities for me. It maybe gives options but no assurance that I could make to study there. It was so close in the end that’s why I chose my parent’s decision. I took BS in Education course in the same university where my cousins (ate entang and ate phen) studied. In the first year of my college journey, I took English major because I suddenly saw two of my high school classmates were English Major (for the sake that I will not be alone). However, as the months went on, I realized that majoring in English was not my cup of tea because of the lessons that I was not interested and captivated with. What major I really want to take? It is Science, General Science to be specific (since, to be a doctor is loving Science). I was just too scared to be alone that’s why I took English first as my major. After that, I transferred Science Major on the second semestral of the year. Surprisingly, I found out myself happy, interested and eager to excel in this major. The following years went so well and I have encountered amazing people that helped me throughout this journey. On the 4th year of journey, practice teaching is one of the ultimate requirements before running for graduation. Practice teaching is the process where student-teacher is deployed on specific school to practice and prepare herself in teaching. I was deployed on CABIAO NHS where I am currently teaching as a Grade 7 teacher. It had been almost 5 and half months of practice teaching moments before final demonstration. On this journey, one big realization has came into my senses----I have learned to love teaching. I saw in myself how happy I am when I see the smiles and enjoyment on the students whenever we have discussions. I saw in myself how happy I am whenever I see them leaving the class with periods over question marks. I see myself how truly happy I am when I see them learning because of what I have done to be teacher and parent to them. I have really found out the happiness and passion in teaching. With the help of my parents, I saw the vocation that leads me on my purpose.

I just want to have a reflection:

I just want to share this to everyone who is struggling in finding their purpose in this world especially today that COVID-19 pandemic is not over yet and far from to free us. Just like me, it was really tough and difficult before I could see what I really wanted. I realized, what life I have now if I don’t consider my parent's suggestion? Where I am now if I don’t have crossed the path between English and Science? What am I today if I pushed my life to study and pick a course randomly in Manila? Hmmm, I’m oust of the words maybe.

In this context, I am not saying that we must follow the choices of parents for us when it comes on the course we should take. What I mean is, we should consider their guidance and support for us to have clearer mind and choice to make decision on what we really wanted. Of course, your choice is what really matters most in taking your course in college because that will lead you in your passion and interest someday. But it still depends on our choices along the journey and the will of God that governs everything. Sometimes, we are in the situation of chaotic scenarios where we cannot make decisions wisely. There are people and experiences that will help us to finally see our purpose in life. Hence, do not lose hope even we are experiencing hard times and challenges today. Keep moving forward and always motivate yourself to pursue your dreams and you can able to surpass the storms to enjoy the rainbow in the end. Whatever it is, as long as you see yourself happy and contented on what you have right now, that is what important most.

I am always wishing that everyone may find the certain path to see what they really want to be. It is not always to have good academics, medals, compliments or tangible things; It is on the experiences, lessons, hardships and kindness that will help you to see how wonderful and amzing life could be.