For you what is unconditional love?
As for me unconditional love is loving freely without expecting in return and loving with no condition , yeah it's in the word itself. It's unconditional. It is loving them and finding yourself happy because they are happy too.
There's an another term for this kind of love. It is called Agape love. Did it sound familiar? I heard this term for the first time when I attended a retreat when I was in 2nd high school in our parochial church and they taught us the different kinds of love and one of them is Agape love. It is like the love of our parents to us and our love at our children. It's unconditional.
Agape love is not all about family only. It can be involved in romantic relationship too. We always heard about this line, " I want a partner who can love me for who I am ". This kind of line seems like happening in movies or novels where a man loves the girl even if they are against the world.
Sound like not real or happened in fairy tales ? Do you believe that it can happened into reality? Let's take a deeper explanation what Agape love is.
They called it selfless love. It means you didn't think of yourself or you didn't love the person because of your personal reasons or needs.
It is good for your emotional health as the unconditional loves brings positive feelings that makes the mental aspects healthy.
You can feel the security. Thinking the there's someone who loves you unconditionally can make you feel secured. Thinking that theres someone who can love you despite of what you did and you failure
Has a deep concern to other. Showing a deep concern to someone is a part of Agape love.
Acceptance and forgiveness. Nobody is perfect and everyone made mistakes. Agape love forgive and still love you and accept you.
But there's a little confusion about the true meaning of unconditional love and I share it here. Even if the said above are like selfless and forgiveness thingy , you can also consider to read this below phrases.
Ignoring relationship issues. Misunderstanding is normal in a relationship. Unconditional love is not the one who ignore that misunderstanding and just make it passed by.
Forgetting your own needs. Yes unconditional love has a form of sacrifice but it doesn't mean that you will give everything and never leave for yourself.
Tolerate abuse. Unconditional love is not like that, sometimes it can also letting go of the things that hurts you.
A bit confusing? Sounds complicated?
A one philosophy professor said that the love of parents and child is unconditional but at some point there still a condition. What is that? They love their child because its thier child. Do you get it?
Another one is the love that you have in your partner. Why you love them? It is because of the looks? Intelligence? Kindness? If those characteristic was gone , is your love fade away? If you said yes maybe your love is unconditional.
Love grows and blooms as the time passes by. It can also fade away. The reality is that love change because people also change. You and your partner may not the same person after a long years. Instead of finding your ideal kind of love , maybe try to be better , realistic and mature and apply it on your relationship.
Parent love to thier children were already there since the time that they gave birth but on romantic love it can take more time.
Strategies to make the lasting love.
Respect even if your not agree. We always experienced this one as we have always a different thinking even if it happened always choose to respect each other.
Open communication. It needs to be honest , calm and timely. Let your partner express his side as well as yours and don't interrupt him or her when speaking. Make sure that you understand each other side before you close the discussion.
Supporting each other. This is a very important part of loving someone. Supporting means offering a helping hand , showing empathy and listening to them and telling them that you always had your back and they are not alone.
Final thoughts.
Agape love is like a dream come true but we can bring it in reality. Good relationship don't have any condition but there are boundaries. If your partner didn't respect those and if you feels that the relationship is not healthy anymore even if you love them deeply. Let it go because stay away from this kind of relationship is also an act of unconditional self love.
Source : Healthline
I heard from my mom that Agape love was the kind of love God has for we, people