Reminiscing my journey of faith.

I grew up Roman Catholic because that’s my parents religion. I grew up with not so religious family as I didn’t saw them praying or attending church every morning. I know Jesus but I do not know him well. All I know is that he is powerful and he is our God that everytime we need something we will just pray to him like that.

Then on my elementary days I knew more about him because of our religion classes that required us to learn how to pray and also the usual routine of a Roman Catholic such as praying the rosary , the our father and more. I also involved in church activities in our chapel and as kid and having an immatured mind and heart , following Jesus is like not so deep thing to me. I remember when I first had the communion and the confession . I confessed to the priest that I am littering in the garden, stealing some coins on my mothers coin purse. You know that kind of sin that kids literally did.

Then the activities on the church grow bigger and I carry it until on my high school days. I am still involved with church activities as I am a member of a youth organization in our parochial church. Unlike when I was a kid , I can feel the my journey of faith became deeper as I can feel my maturity and on how I applied the word of God and his teachings. Back on my high school days I am purely innocent. Some people call me manang because I love to wear long skirt. Then a trial came to our life and one day I questioned God. My faith faded and didn’t attended the church anymore. I even told my friends who invites me again “ Sus. Kalokohan lang yang ginagawa nyo “.

As the time goes by it feels like I am longing into something. I am spiritually thirst and I am looking for something that can satisfy my soul. I tried to attend in the church again but it looks like its hard to be back in track again.

When I went to Manila. That’s the time that I already forgot to serve. Not attending on the Sunday church as in no more spiritual things on me even praying. I go back to the province and most of them was shocked to my transformation. I am not a manang anymore. I wear a pekpek shorts, that the term they used on the short because its so short. Then from conservative to liberated. The way I talked to them. One of my friends seems disappointed because of my transformation because he didn’t expect that I will be like that.

I learned to drink alcohol. I lost my virginity. I leaned to fling with different guys and involved in wordly doings. I am not the conservative Yen anymore.

A couple of years I am like that until I met a guy that I prayed for. I thought his the man that I prayed for. From Catholic I switch my religion to Iglesia ni Cristo and I didn’t regret that decision of my life as it serves as the start to be active in church again. Yeah it was different religion but the learnings are on the bible. Being spiritually satisfied is so fullfiling. You know the feeling the you are living everyday thinking about God. The feeling the you are excited to attend church every Thursday and Sunday despite of busy schedule. I am crying every churchtime because of joy in my heart. You know the feeling of being thirst for a long time and then drink water finally.

My Iglesia ni Cristo journey lasted for a year. Yeah , the guy and I broke up and I am happy that God didn’t allowed me to marry that man because he is a cheater. Even if I left the Iglesia ni Cristo I still attended church but in Catholic. I managed to attend church every Sunday but you know the feeling that you are not comfortable because even if they both Christian religion they have different belief that’s why I stopped my spiritual journey again.

Then the worst year of my life came. It was year 2016 when I want to end my life because Im so tired. It was Christmas day that time , I went to Baclaran church alone and prayed there. I cried and cried saying that Im so tired with my life and I want light from Him. I want to be back again as a follower but I am having a hard time because I was exposed in worldly things.

Then March 2017 God answered my prayers. He gave me the man that I prayed for and also that man lead me again to Him. Yes, he is my husband. He is Born Again Christian and while I am attending church there I realized how forgiving God is. He welcomed me again and allowed me to start a new life. I still remember the moment that I cried because of the song lyrics of beauty for ashes.

Im no longer what I used to be.

I am stronger because you lived in me

The old is gone, the new has come

Im alive.

That moment was the turning point of my life and I promised myself not to be lost again.

Good evening guys. I know its not the first time that I shared this but let me tell you the stiry why I end up sharing it again. Right now I am infront of our house. Theres a table here and only the Christmas light as my light and also the light of the laptop screen then I opened the youtube and saw Kuya Kim Atienza’s testimony. Then I find myself typing this.