My insecurities: Why my nose is flat and big?

Why my nose is flat and big?

This is always my question to my father and every time I asked that she was laughing and telling me that my nose is like a tomato and then I will answered back , nagmana lang ako sayo then he will tell me that his nose is not flat then he will laugh again.

Oh flat and big nose...

That's my number one insecurities when I was a child. Some relatives call me Pangulo. It is because I am having a flat nose. Maybe for them it's fun if they call me like that but I am very uncomfortable when I heard those name calling.

When I was in elementary I don't have any problems regarding with my physical appearance. Infact I am very active and friendly in school and our physical appearance is not an issue.

When I went to High School , that's the time I experienced bullying because of my nose. I am first year High School that time and my classmates were laughing at me because of my nose. One of my classmates asked me why my nose is like that , it's like a nose of a pig. I didn't answered her and just keep in silence. Sometimes they will said oink oink and they will laugh. Because of that moment of my life , my self confidence faded and became scared to show who I am.

On the succeeding years of my high school life , I found a genuine classmates and true friends and they are my friends until now. High School days is a stage of puberty and a teenager we want to be beautiful in the eyes of other and also to the boy out there though in my case Im still childish that time and didn't think about boys , only crushes.

On my college days I don't have any problems because even if ku nose is like that I can still manage to be fashionable and decent on how I look but I must admit my insecurities still in me and I can't accept it. I mean that I am me and I must he proud of what I am despite of having a flat nose.

Glowing up is not for me. I am lazy to put beauty products on my body and face that's why my looks before until now is still the same but even if I am like that some guys fall in love with me hahaha. But there's also a rejection and I feel so ugly that time.

There's an incident when I was walking in my side wall of Ortigas going to SM Megamall and a there's a two guys who are behind me and they said pwede pwede and when they see me they said Engk. Which mean not or no or cross. I am not hurt that time because I know they are just looking for pretty girls and maybe think I pretty because I have long hair and wearing a skirt and long sleeve.

Then there's also an incident happened on the house of my ex boyfriend. His brother was drank and he laugh at me saying if we get married and have kids and the kid inherit my nose then he laughed. I walked out and cried because it's really painful. Then the mother of my ex boyfriend told me to be calm and understand his son because he was drank but my ex boyfriend got mad to him because of that.

On my teenage days I questioned God why I am ugly. I am scared that time that no guy will court me and love me because I'm ugly but as I grew older I realized that our physical appearance is not that important. It's all about the personality and it's all about how you handle yourself infront of other people. It's all about being true and accepting all your flaws with all of your heart.

I am flat nose yes. And you know exotic beauty attracts Afam char 🤣 On my teenage days I have a few foreigner chatmates but because I don't want to marry foreigners I don take it seriously.

Now I am a mother , my son inherit my nose and I know the side of my husband also thinking " nalahian sila ng pango" but I don't care. My son is pango but he's smart , he's adorable and he's kind. Even if his pango everytime we visit my in-laws they always amazed on my son. And when my son grew up I will not let him feel what I will before. I will always tell him to accept who he really are because we never know in the future he will also experience the same experience as mine but I hope not.

Before I end this article , I wan to say that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and all Gods creations are beautiful ❤️

This is inspired from the article of @Theblackdoll with a prompt insecurities. #Myinsecurities