It's fine if you choose to be better.

Sometimes people blamed thier environment that's why they ended up miserable and broken. They blamed those people who surrounded on them and sometimes thier excuses is that they have no choice but do you really have no choice or you don't want to break the chain of doing what the majorities do and choosing what is right and be better.

Sometimes we reached the point that we are already drown on the things that we always did but one day we will realize that this is not the real you and this is not the path that you need to take and you need to be brave to step out on the situation and choose to be better. Sometimes we get influence by people and thought that what we need is fun but soon we will realize that happiness is not all about worldly perspective.

Maybe you are curious why I am saying this. Or maybe not? But even if you're not I will still tell you a story about the old me who engaged her life in worldly things and realized that it's not worth it anymore.

I have 2 cousin which I trusted the most and also closed with. They are my childhood bestfriend because we have the same age and we were classmates during our elementary days. When we were in elementary days , as a kid all we thought is about playing though I also into studying but they're not. If you remember my article a couple of months ago about my elementary memories where my classmates said to me to avoid my cousin because they are bad influence to me but I didn't follow them as they are my cousin.

High School days are still the same. Even though I am in the higher section and they are on the lowest we managed to get in touch every afternoon after school and when I was in college I learned to be liberated before because of them. I got involved with premarital sex , drinking alcohol almost everyday because I thought it was fun and it was trend. But even though I did those things I didn't forget to study well and knew my priorities. I am so proud back then when I tell my friends that I am not virgin anymore and I already experienced those things because for me that time it's like an achievement. Even if I regret it now it's didn't bring back the day that I gave up my virginity just for the sake of being in.

Then I went to Manila to find a job but it's seems I missed the fun in the province that's why I go back to the province and tell my father a lot of excuses. That time I have a boyfriend and I also meet that guy when I was with them.

Everyday drinking session , I sleep almost midnight , we stroll during night and meet different guy just to treat us a food. I am like a chaperone that time because it's not my guy. Mostly the guy that we met are older guy and I know meeting them is like they want a return but I am not into that. Even if Im with them I never tried to entertain a guy just for the sake of money. Though I surrender my virginity by the age of 16 , it was my boyfriend. I do it because of love but I know it's wouldn't justify that premarital sex is not a sin.

Almost a month , I am engaged with those kind of set up until it comes to a turning point that there's a voice who whispered in my ear saying if I am truly happy with that. Then I thought of my father's dream to me and also the idea that I dream of helping them. I fix myself and go back to Manila and even it's hard for me to start a new journey I did for the sake of my future and to be better.

Then I overcome it! I found a new job and engaged myself to people who was professional though I didn't avoid those party time and drinking session but atleast it's just a payday party and not an everyday drinking session with a tambay like them.

Then years passed , the bond on me and my cousin faded and it feels like we didn't know each other. When I went to province I only stay on the house or sometimes go to my college friends. I didn't go to thier house because she is on the gambling session and I don't want to get involved with those vices. Then years passed she continue her life like the old times. She was a mistress and enjoy the easy money that she got from the old guy.

I remember when my mother said " Look at the house of your cousin , it's fully furnished " it's seems like my mom feels envy when infact she knew that the money used for the house is from the old guy. Then I told my mother " You know what Ma? I can also do that but I will not do it because you didn't raised me like that.

Then now , she's not here in our place because she borrowed a lot of money and didn't pay it. I also lost my money because I let her borrowed my money last 2019. It's worth 36,000 in total.

Why I am writing this? I just want to say that it's fine to avoid people who makes you toxic. It's fine to leave the places that makes you forget the real you. It's fine if you choose to be better. E ano kung hindi ka gaya nila? E ano kung naiiba ka? E ano kung mas pinili mong maging mabuti. Tamang mawawalan ka ng kaibigan pero matatagpuan mo naman yung peace of mind at yung purpose mo.

Thank you for reading ❤️