We Didn't Lose Them, They Now Live In Our Heart

Life itself was never meant to be everlasting, neither was man created immortal. We all will die but while we live, let us make every moment of life with others worth it. 

We all are familiar that whenever someone's die, there is no way we will see them again. And most times we blame ourselves for their death, for not being there with them, for not caring enough and the list goes on and on. This will never fix anything but rather make it worst. And most times the people around us, trying to console us might even worsen the situation with their supposed consoling words like, 'Move on, get over it.You can't bring him back, so why are you wasting your time crying over him. It was God's plan, He knows why. All those saying to them were meant to console those grieving  but rather breaks the person the more.

So in my article today, am going to write on how to get over grief, this should be helpful to those grieving and the person who wishes to console others. Most times, the good we intended to do becomes the worst crime.

First you need to understand, the death of a loved one isn't something you could fix within a day or two. Most times grieving takes a lifetime to be fixed, so why rush someone to get over it. What if it had happen to you, will you have gotten over it so soon? Will you be so happy to know that the person, you once cherished has been erased from your mind. Of course not, getting over the death of a loved one is a difficult task and so we don't need to force those grieving to get over it. Even when you finish reading this article, you may still not get over you loved one, because something still reminds you of them. It could be the portrait hanging on the wall, their choice of music, their favorite meal, color or drink. 

Living with the knowledge that they are gone, but their memories lived on will help you deal with grief. Alot of people will tell you not to cry over the death of a loved one, but trust me, this has been a technique have used for sometime now. Whenever life gets tougher and your heart becomes heavy, it's okay to cry, knowing you won't cry it all a day. You have lot's of time to always do that, so you cry for few minutes or hours, then you stop. Crying helps to relief the pains, loneliness and heaviness in our heart. 

Associating with others helps us deal with grief. This should be people who understands us properly, who won't try to talk us into forgetting someone we loved because they are no more because that could bring back fresh memories. You don't need to stay with people who tries to make you fall into the pit of self pity. Most times its advisable you associate with people who doesn't know about your present predicament, this is to further reduce the chances of  being hurt by their actions or words. Lost for Organizations for people who lost their loved ones and join, this will also make you know you are not alone, they are others like you. Find out about their techniques and try to imitate the helpful ones.

Living through the pain of losing someone is another way of getting to be free from grief. I still remember my grandma used to like chocolate coffee, so each time the loneliness creeps in. All I do is to make a cup of warm chocolate coffee and starts sipping it. At first I thought it was never going to work but with time, I discovered it help me pull of grief. It could mean you listening to their favorite song, wearing their favorite shirts, just whatever makes them happy, try to do it and with time, you will come to know that you didn't lose them, they live through us and with us.

Knowing that they are safe and happy wherever they are is another helpful hint. You might have lost them to death following a car crash, terrible diseases like cancer. And most times you had always wished they were fine, never experiencing all the pains they were, and suddenly they are gone. Just console yourself with the thought, where they are, there is no more pain, sickness or death. And they are happy being there, so you should also be happy for them. Living each day like they are watching you and knowing how they would have felt, if they saw you crying or being depressed will help ease the burden of grieve.

Conclusion

Death is inevitable and so is grieve, but how we felt living each moment with the pain and absence of a loved one will be determined by us. Always consider your health status, too much grieving isn't good for your health and your loved ones wouldn't be happy to see you fall sick because of them. So cheer up, live your life like you didn't lose them, for they now live in your heart.

Lead image and other images : Unsplash.com