There Is No Friendship Without A Rift

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1 year ago

Show me a relationship without misunderstanding and I will gladly point to you two individuals who are receiving themselves - Dr. Wrinkle

Image source: unsplash

Does the above quote sounds strange to you? If it does pardon me but it is true. Friendship isn't a one day thing or a special occasion where we all dress in our best attire just to be applauded by the guests. It is a long term agreement where anger, jealousy, chaos and other hurtful behaviours also strives. This is just the downside of friendship which most people hide it religiously from others. 

I could count the number of times I and my best friend disagreed over something, we even shouted at each other calling ourselves hurtful names. We were both hurt but who was ready to take the first step to apologize was the big deal. I did and sometimes she does too, that shows how much we value our relationship above the chaos that is bound to occur. I still remember the day, we quarreled and she got herself into trouble. We had to lay aside our differences and fix everything together. Nobody dares hurt my best friend without passing through me and that is just one unique character in our friendship.

How Fast You Get Back On Track With Your Friend Matters A Lot!

Humans have different mindsets, way of life and how they react to things. It is similar to the way our body reacts naturally to different food. I may not be pissed when my friend takes my phone without my permission but she could get angry whenever I does that to hers.

Having such vital information could help settle a lot of rift between friends. For example, if you are aware she gets angry whenever you touch her mobile without her consent, you could either seek your friend's permission before touching her phone or you just avoid it to prevent unnecessary drama.

If there is a fight between friends, find a way to solve it before it gets more messier. You don't have to always claim being the victim or the one who was wrongly treated. Friendships should not be based on such principle of who pulled the trigger should apologize first. No! Any of you could apologise without feeling cheated. That is what makes friendship blooms, how fast we apologize creates this beautiful impression in the heart of our friends of how valuable, loved and special there are to us.

So many people think apologizing when you are not wrong shows weakness but to me, it is a sign of maturity and how much you value the relationship. You should not be clouded by the thought of he/she was wrong so they have to apologize but do so if you value your relationship.

Can Two People Go Together Without Any Disagreement?

If I were to throw that question at everyone, most people will boldly say "yes" but deep down we know it is a big lie. It is not possible to live for years with a friend without any disagreement. Even the sweetest love story has a break, that is just human for you. An amazing feature nobody can change or explain. No matter how blissful the relationship is one day they could always be a disagreement. How fast you get back on track is what explains how much you both valued the relationship.

I once told someone " I am not scared of having a fight with my friend but I am only scared when such a fight isn't resolved for a long time. 

If you value someone you will be scared to lose them. 

Image source:unsplash.com

Have this at the back of your mind that there is not relationship that goes for years without a slight misunderstanding unless both parties were not sincere to each other. Don't be envious of those shiny relationship you see online, in social gatherings or the public it could be mere formality just to cover up for a broken relationship in their closet.

Do have a beautiful day and never stop to stay hydrated. Remember, drinking water calms the nerves, clears the body of bacteria and refreshes the brain. 

Lead image:unsplash.com

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1 year ago

Comments

Of course, there are days argument will come up during friendship. It's a very bad relationship if nothing makes you argue and have misunderstandings, it's bound to happen but should be settled almost immediately on the same day that it happened.

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1 year ago

Totally agree... it was what my husband taught me, never let an argument pass a day without settling it. and it works in strengthening the relationship. We all have our share of ups and downs, its just really a matter of handling it and understand the other. Its also a way of unmasking people along the way, people show off their true color at worst times.

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1 year ago

You are right, our true selves are shown in times of trouble. I really like the principle your husband taught you.

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1 year ago

You are right, Gaftek but most people don't deem it right to do it that way. They think prolonging the argument will make the offender remorseful, which in some cases doesn't.

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1 year ago

Disagreements are normal and natural, but for any healthy relationship, it is important that they be resolved quickly. The word sorry has great power and contributes to inner peace, even though it sometimes seems difficult to say. 😊

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1 year ago

You are right. Sometimes sorry is the most difficult word to say but when said appropriately, it could turn things around.

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1 year ago

hmmm... It's true... and i'm sweepin my floor and put many into the trash... I'm done defending them... hahaha! no more facade, the intrigues they created... is theirs to keep. hahaha!

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1 year ago

I understand my dear, but sometimes we just have to give them another chance to see if they will really change. What do you think?

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1 year ago

hahaha! true but its been a decade of defending a deaf ear... the relationship has become abusive in a way, a one-way relationship the most... and stuck through to feed her ego and wiles... there are really just time to move on and live. of course, subtly...

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1 year ago

When you try all possible means to save a friendship and it isn't working out, you really have to walk away.

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1 year ago

Arguments are bound to happen and it is how we handle and let go that matters. We shouldn't wait for the other person to apologize even though they are at fault, if we truly value our friendship or relationship, we would be the first to apologize and settle it immediately. Doing this doesn't mean you are weak but because you value the love between you both.

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1 year ago

I admire how you took your time to explain why it is necessary to apologise regardless of who was at fault.

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1 year ago

Friendship has two sides to it. Yes sweet and the bitter times. Arguments are bound to occur. What makes our friendship last long is the ability to swallow our ego and put the past bitter experiences behind us

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1 year ago

I couldn't agree less with what you just said because it is full of wisdom. Thank you for contributing.

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1 year ago

Can two people walk together except they agree? The Bible is complete. It's true, arguements are bound to happen and learning how to move on quickly is what truly matters. I've had a lot of back and forth with my friends too but at the end of the day, it's all love and light.

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1 year ago

we all have our share of good and bad, its really a matter of acceptance. but there are people who choose to mask it off and continue to deceive, though totally their choice but we also have our priorities as well. Friends come and go, some stays for good other walk out when its not convenient for them.

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1 year ago

That's humans for you...it all depends on the person. This is accurate and deep. Love this.

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1 year ago

You have a lot of ideas regarding this topic, have you any story you would like to share with me?

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1 year ago

Hahahaha I was about to say this.

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1 year ago

Let's keep our fingers cross and wait for her to share with us her story

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1 year ago

Absolutely.

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1 year ago

The manner in which you usually bring the Bible into all your conversation is what surprises me the most. Thank you so much for this beautiful contribution.

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1 year ago

I'm always happy to share especially after reading such a brilliant article, Hildimar Kandadai. 😍😍😍🌹🌹🌹

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1 year ago

Wow! So you still haven't forgotten my name.

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1 year ago

I can never forget hahaha. I love the names.

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1 year ago

Thank you my dear friend.

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1 year ago

🤗🤗🤗

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1 year ago

Your article is correct, because two people can not stay together without agreeing, we must have disagreement in every day living

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1 year ago

You are right my dear friend..

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1 year ago

This is a basic truth. It takes maturity to control the fighting and quarrel in friendship. There's just no relationship without misunderstanding. I think the little problems makes the bond stringer

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1 year ago

Yes, you are right my dear friend. Maturity is all that is needed in order to prevent an escalation of the fights.

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1 year ago