Remember me this way..

If the time comes, how would you want your self to be remembered by all? When it comes to my relatives don't asked I have few, and they didn't treat me well and that what's truly broke my heart.

I want to express my gratitude to my new and old sponsors, she's a good friend of mine and I couldn't imagine read.cash without her and to all my fellow bloogers God bless us all.

I remember way back then after my grandmother died she was cold dead in her coffin filled with flowers and light. But that not went easy on my mom she cried we cried until tears are no more found. But that's how life is, as we stopped breathing and say goodbye to our world we must accept that, because it's our time to go.

Then after years gone fast she told us when she died she want to be cremated she don't want people to stay late night just to do chores while she's lying on her coffin. And I said stop mom is not good to hear! but she said face reality that's all she want. She was the bread winner of the family so she got old when she met my father then sadly he left us so early. I'm afraid when the time comes but I will always remember hoe lucky I am to meet her as my parent and a mother. And I already had topic about my dad and here's the link to know more about it.

And as I gone with early pregnancy at 17 then 21, 27 and the last was the hardest my cesarean section via ligation at 30 I felt waek. It's like my strength was lessen and change occupied to my body, sometimes my legs are shaking but I'm doing nothing. My eldest is now 15 years old and she is a really big help to me she knows how to do all the chores inside our house washing the laundry, cleaning the house and cooking our food but I don't want her to do all of that I'm still her mother and I want her to feel that i can do it.

My second was 12 year old boy he's the one who noticed my pain, he said mom why are you shaking are you alright? And all I said I am okay anak don't worry, but I also felt different specially when im riding our boat. But I just ignored it all I thought that all of that was normal but It had been two years since I had my operation and I think the changes had occupies now and I can't handle it sometimes. My body also had changed I was thin now compared to before my aunt also said to me that I looked as I had sick but I'm not. We once got to hubby relatives birthday occasion and all eyes to me, Ang payat mo, you look very thin! And I don't like the fact that they don't know how hard ive been through.

And I thought my ligation changed me my body was not used to it sometimes I thought that when I die i want my kids to remember how much I loved them by seeing their siblings a part of me will always lived to them.

I also told my husband to look for another woman but he told me nothings gonna replace me inside his heart. He also said why do you want me to replace you I couldn't do such thing. It's been 18 long years and I wasn't strict on him he could drink, smoke and I'm luck he saw his mistakes and find the changes for the better. I know his a good father to our kids, I said to him that I'm losing confidence to myself but his the quote one he said he'll love me even I completely changed in my appearance.

If I will left this world I want my family to remember me in a way they'll not be sad I want them to be happy because I've been part of their lives. We may want to live to the fullest but only our creator knows when will the time for us to go. And whatever the process will maybe we must be ready for life is only borrowed by our Lord God.

Thank for your time reading,

Love, UsagiGallardo215 🌙

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