I wish, you were here with me dad.

I was very young when i lost my father, I remember I was in kindergarten age of 5. But I remember how he loved me when he was alive... He was exactly 28 years in heaven now

My mother and grandmother told me that my dad doesn't want to hear me crying I was very spoiled by him. And I only remember him by hearing those good stories we had. But I knew I witnessed him gasping his breath ;( or it's only a bad dream..

Losing someone important to me is very hard and sad. I'm growing incompletely the way I shouldn't be.. do you believe in fortune tellers? My mom tried those stuff and he actually guess the things that happened before, in our past life he said also that my late grandfather had an affair with many girls and it's absolutely true. My mom can prove that it. And he also said that my father never leaves us his always watching us here in our house before. And eventually I can feel his spirit with me when I was little. He even play with me and scare me sometime.

And as I grow I rebeled a lot, growing up with no siblings no father how life would you expect me to have? I have my mom but she's more busier with his work and had no time for me. Maybe she had and I treasure it most. But my adolescents strikes so if they would have not time for me I'll find it all by myself.

Maybe they did saw me made a mistake but I don't know what I am doing. No one advice me they just got mad they didn't explain how did I get wrong. I mean I needed someone to guide me. But I don't have that someone and all I know is they're mad at me, they preach me all the time and I was disgusted. I cry and cry and I dreamt that I'm laying in my fathers legs and he gently hold my head and told me be strong and listen, learned from my mistakes so I can handle life's trials and problems. Then I thought my dream is a shoulder that I leaned on and I told my self "cry and wipe away those tears put yourself together and all you have is yourself with you"

And I told my self when I'll have a family on my own I want my kids to have a father that I didn't get a chance to have..

His my husband our eldest and youngest. In my previous article I told there that my husband is a farmer before he had a stable job. But before I met him their life Is a misery. He told me that sometimes only eat once a day and before going to school he and his elder brothers they fetch fish in the water and they're mother will sell it so when they got home that the first meal they'll have in that day He told me that our children will never experienced that.

He was the ideal father that I want our children to have. I see his hardships just to make our life better and happy. We may not have everything but atleast my kids got a chance to have a father that I didn't have. And when I see them bond and laugh together I smile and I told my father, dad do see me know? I struggle before but I'm happy because you let me find the person who's right for me and I don't miss him that much, Dad I know your smiling because I did what you told me, I was strong to find my true happiness..

To father of my child, loved I love you I know we fight sometimes but it dosent mean that I'm letting this beautiful family of ours be ruined. And I'm happy that we have you In our lives..

Thank you so much for reading my articles and please comment by, tell me if have mistakes I still want to learn from with you all. God bless and have a nice day

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Love, UsagiGallardo215 🌙