07-07-2022

4:00 pm

Definitely this isn't the first time I would stare at the blank page that is on the screen; not knowing what to write or how to start an article. But it feels totally different today. As I stared for more than 30 minutes while I racked my brain for inspiration

For those who read my article I wrote 3 days ago titled: "A baby is born". I revealed that I would be celebrating my birthday this month and I also revealed the date. Well, that date is today. Today I officially add a year to my age.

It is definitely great to be able to witness today in good health and also in sound mind.

Birthdays are like a personalized new year for celebrants because that the day they truly get to experience a revolution of 365 days.

How my day is going

I didn’t plan anything special for my birthday and it just like the previous birthdays of being indoor receiving birthday text and greetings from friends and family members and no fanfare at all.

This would be my first time celebrating my birthday on this platform, and it is a great joy to see it happen. I remember when I was celebrating the birthday of some of my read cash colleagues last year and early this year. I told myself July is still far away.

But today we are in July and we are already counting days too. The date that seems far is finally here.

It feels like I was in my early teens a day ago, now I'm in my early twenties. It's just like the proverbial saying that says; "time waits for no one”. Indeed it doesn’t.

The fright

Sometimes I panic when I think of how time flies and how things are moving fast. The world isn’t like the way it used to be; five years ago. Technology is changing, international politics has changed too. The world seems more likely to collapse than ever. The economic situation is bad and even worse in developing countries like my country.

I really have a fright about what the future holds or what it looks like. Yes we often say our actions determines our future but there a lot of things around us that also determines our future that we have no control of.

The positivity is needed

I know I need to keep up with the positivity, because people who are close to me, do know I often think things negatively. I once called myself a "negaholic" (an informal word for a person who persistently thinks negatively or pessimistically).

That why this second of half of the year I have agreed to change my ways and to stop thinking about the worse or thinking the worse would happen.

I should think positively and put on that smile even when everything is collapsing.

Me vs me

But still yet I can’t just help but to poke my nose out and ask what does the future hold. Would I regret not taking some steps.

My health, my finance, my love life all these bothers my mind. Saying I’m scared might be an understatement.

But I have come to realize that the biggest obstacle blocking me from achieving success is nobody else but me.

• The natural self that doesn’t want to undergo the pain that leads to gain.

• The natural self that hates discipline and doesn’t want to stick to schedule.

• The natural self that includes procrastination and is easily overwhelmed by distractions

Ice cracking?

Sometimes I just feel like holding my head and shout out. Would that ease the pressure?

The pressure to make it, the pressure to learn this and that. The fear, the unpredictable, the people and cruel world out there.

I hope what I’m saying are sanely and hope my statements doesn’t sound insanely.

Like the rain?

Some night I just cry my eyes out, sometimes I listen to music to ease the pains and sometimes music might fail to.

Today I’m plus one; in age, but in reality it is a minus one of the time left. How do I make use of the remaining time left and make it to the top.

All these bugs my mind. Perhaps I’m thinking too much, and thereby allowing anxiety run through my veins.

I am going now to literally clean the tears that has began to form and cloud my eyes as I’m typing this article.

Maybe I just need to cry it out just like how it rains when the sky is filled with heavy clouds.

After the rains what comes next? Sunshine!

Thank you for reading