Now I know, better when people advise me not to try to impress anyone. I have come to realize that people don't focus on the good things you have achieved or the good things you’ve done for them but on your mistakes.

If you are one of my avid readers, you might remember the article antecedent to my last published article, titled; “People will always have their opinion". In the article, I shared a proverbial story on how different people would always have an opinion of their own, and if you try to please everyone you would get lost.

This past week has been an eye-opener. I have come to realize that people rarely appreciate you for the good things you did, but instead, they focus on those you didn’t do for them.

If someone asks for 100 favours and you were only able to achieve 98 or 99, this kind of people instead of praising you for the 99 favours you have done, instead they would emphasize the remaining 1 or 2 you didn’t do.

No room for mistakes

We live in a world that leaves no room for mistakes. For example on social media. I have seen people being trolled for a typo. These trolls don’t focus on the topic or the message of the text, instead, they pick on the insignificant mistake.

I have also realized that you can’t force someone to like, admire or love you. Doing that would just be waste of time. I have learnt to be myself all the time when I’m around anyone. There is no need to fake it.

Most relationships nowadays ended up in failure because many couples are all pretending to be who they are not.

I remember my conversation with a female friend, and she jokingly said that,

“oh Tomi, your gender lies the most”.

I didn’t want to enter the argument of which gender lies the most. Guess my reply to her?

I said, "yes, we lie a lot because most ladies love to hear lies".

I went ahead to list scenarios of how men use lies to get a lady. Why does this happen?

I feel many ladies have these fantasies which most times might be unrealistic, then the man goes ahead to act it up, to capture the girl's attention. And what happens afterward? The lady might later realize she has been fooled.

Finding the negativity in your positivity

I have realized that in life, you need to be yourself. No matter the good you do. Some people would find negativity in it. I remembered how Jesus healed a cripple man on the sabbath day, the Pharisees instead to be happy for the healed man, began questioning why Jesus had to heal the man on a sabbath day?

When some people want to have a fall out with you, they would begin to mention your wrongdoings forgetting all your good works.

I have heard many people say bad things about their “Ex” and I begin to wonder; “if this person was this bad why were you guys together in the first instance”.

It seems people tend to exaggerate just like the Pharisees who were desperate for what they could accuse Jesus of doing.

Always be yourself, and when talking about someone, just like you might want to say the bad about him or her ask yourselves what about the good.

If you indeed want to talk, make sure you state the good and the bad and weigh them. Also, learn to give people a chance to prove their selves.

Nobody is above making mistakes, but we now live in a world that quickly condemns people for the slightest mistake they make.

We have seen Great politicians being forced to step down all because of a mistake they could apologize for.

I think the world is going crazy, no chill pills anymore, everybody wants instant result and gratification and they forget our human nature.

25-07-2022

4:00 pm

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