The test continue: emotion vs rationality

If last day was a rough day, today is the roughest. I would have gone crazy for the roller coaster of today's ride. Some part I enjoy mostly I am silent and pondering whether I will continue or not, whether I am on the right place in the ride or even the ride itself. My rationality as human being was tested due to mixed emotions. Yet, I am still grateful of today's experience, a very challenging yet honing one.

Happy Friday to everyone especially to my dear sponsors. It's end of the week and a day before the end of the month. I hope and pray you are doing great, happy and successful. If you are then Keep it up.

In this life we need to be tested for us to be just like the gold, which gone fire and water to be mold, shine and strong. And as for me the time had come to be tested. I hope I would be mold, shine and become strong right after all this.

What are the test?

1.To go alone or go with friends?

Mama wake me early because she knew I need to be prepared before 6 in the morning. What she doesn't know that won't be living that early because of my friend. This friend of mine work with the same agency as mine so we will be going together in the office to pass some requirements. So, I live the house past 7 and gone to our meeting place as per agreement. But then they told me they will be late and better for me to go without them. So, I went to the office alone. And since I didn't leave home early I ended up coming to the office, after few hours ride, I was late.

Lesson: In this life you will journey alone with yourself therefore do not wait for someone to be with you and would take the same journey together.

2.To Asks questions

Since it was my first time going to the office to process such papers I don't know what to do. So I chatted my friends, the same friends I have mentioned earlier, the things I needed to be done. But then I couldn't send and receive any mail because there's no reception or connection inside the office. So I needed to be brave and asked the people around me to learned the things I needed to know. The first person was quite having an attitude so I am having second thought if I would continue to asked another person around. But then, how can I finished everything if I won't asked so I decided to asked some personnel instead.

Lesson: Never be afraid to asked the right questions unto the right people.

3.To deal with other's mistake that requires redoing the process all over again

I was in the last department for the process but then the staff told me to do the process all over again because some of my documents that came from the first department is wrong. The date was redundant and needed to be replace. I don't want to waste time so I immediately comply. I turn back to the first department and waited for another few hours.

Lesson: Never waste your energy ranting or be angry on things you can't do something, instead of wasting that energy do the things needed to be done.

4.Lacking that one thing that would make everything be done

After redoing everything. I am in the last department again. I thought everything would go smoothly and I will be finished but then the staff announced that I need to go to the bank to get the account number in order for them process the papers successfully.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. (This song playing in my head)

What the fudge?

Lesson: You need to be prepared for the unexpected things in your life. And get ready to extend your patience a 100 miles more.

5.To try things to work out

I went to the bank around 11 in the morning to try things if it would work and I could get what I needed. I was so positive even with all the things that happened. At least I've tried, no regrets. I pick my priority number which is 91 and currently called was 54. I waited. And waited. And waited. Waiting become so long that it took me 3 hours to finally be called. It's around 2 in the afternoon already. Happily sitting in front of the staff, my smile fade as she handed me the form and told me to come back next week. I asked her why and she told me they will be close at 3 in the afternoon. Well, all bank do right? So, I went outside with form in my hand, drained and emotional. I paused for a moment trying to calculate and process everything. I am angry. I am disappointed. I am tired. I am hungry. I feel so down. What would I do? Why? I could have filled up, they could have process but why? I need to be rational. I need to control my emotion. I already know why. So, I walk away from the bank and decided to find a transportation that would take me home.

Lesson: Never allow your emotion cloud you from being rational. At least you have tried and they have tried yet time is really running out. Forgive yourself.

6.To take the easy or to take the risky?

As I arrived in the terminal downtown, transportation was only up to the town before ours. I would be cutting my trip if I would take it. I asked if there will be any van that would take me directly to our town, he told me to wait the van outside the city to the next town. I need to think. Leaving the emotional havoc that was just few minutes pass, think. I don't have the assurance that I could take another transport if I cut trips. But I could be sure to be home no matter how long if I would wait outside the city to the next town. I choose the later and took a ride going to the next town outside the city. It's my first time riding in such route via cab yet I need to try. I need to take the risk to make sure I could arrive home safe.

Lesson: I learned two lesson here, first, never be afraid to take risk and to set aside emotions when you need to decide on things.

7.Rain or shine?

I arrived unto the next town and waited patiently. After few minutes of failed attempts, the rain started to fall. It was light at first and becomes hard as it continue pouring. I take out my umbrella and stand my ground where I could see van that would pass in order for me to ride. I was soaked wet by the rain but the only thing I was thinking is to get home. " I want to get home". I look at my dirty white shoes that was soaked by the rain. I think of my feet that was so hot earlier because of the hot weather and then soaked wet by the cold rain, I know I will suffer the consequence later. Yet, the rain couldn't stop me. Few moments later the rain stop and the sunshine again. I smiled looking at the sky then to my shoes. The sky just play on me. After an hour of waiting, I finally take my ride going home.

Lesson: Don't be afraid to be soaked by the rain just to have the things you want or needed to have, or to be in the place you needed to be. If the rain won't stop learned to play with it.

8.To spread the negative energy or be willing to accept the positive energy around?

While riding home, I was so tired. I was down and very sad. Very disappointed. I needed to get home and lay on my bed. I needed to charge to have my energy back. All I want to be was to be home. As I pass in the juncture I bought something to give to mama and the rest that stays at home. Filipino called it "pasalubong". I hope everyone will like it. As I arrived home, I heard the laughed, the exchanged of lively stories. And mama asked me how's everything and I told her it's all right. I needed to be back next week. I don't need to tell her my anger, my frustrations, my disappointment. The struggles. I don't need to pass on the negative energy. I then smile and joined them on to their stories as we share the food I bought for them. Then my tiredness gone away.

Lesson: You don't need to pass on negative energy to let it go away. You just need to take positive energy from the people that surrounds you. Family is the best medicine in almost any emotional breakdown. There is no place like home.

Conclusion

I have been tested fire and water today. Many factors that triggers the fire inside me and the water that drown me to negative emotions. Yet, the coast is clear and I had fish many things. Learned many lessons. And I wanted to emphasize one thing here, NEVER LET EMOTION STOP YOU FROM BEING RATIONAL HUMAN BEING. Think first before you act. Do not decide base on your emotions. Do the right thing and in that every right thing do your best.

That would be all for today, it's been a long, long reading I have here. I hope you learned lesson or two. Thank you so much for reading. God bless.