She's gone

Life is always unpredictable. You wouldn't know when you will be gone, how and for what reason. Therefore let us live happily and wisely. Avoid having grudges and hatred that would consume your positive energy. That no one would dare to remember you and even bid goodbye when your gone.

Let's not forget as well to give the best towards the people around us. Spread love and understanding because we wouldn't know when they will be gone.

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I appreciate you all always. Keep safe and God bless.

I don't know how to react when I heard the news that she's already gone. I always wanted to visit and see her. I missed her so much. She has a special place in my heart. She is one of the person I first remember whenever I came her in this place.

That person is my land lady before in my boarding house. I stay in her place for almost 3 years. I called her Nanay because she is like my own mother. She is caring. She always ask me how's my study and that I should study very well so that I could graduate. She is very understanding whenever I don't have money yet to pay for the monthly due she always understand. She is very considerate, knowing that we are also having financial issues and hardships. She is such a good story teller. She always tell me of her past years in life. She is a single woman and no children. I am sad knowing that no one will take care of her. Though she have a sister in her neighborhood but they are not in good terms. I don't like her sister as well. She is a total opposite of Nanay. She always gossip us and accused us of things we didn't do. She is very loud unlike Nanay who is very gentle and subtle. She always get into trouble due to gossiping.

One time we also had an argument. She is very angry because I talk back to her. Why wouldn't I? She cross so much boundaries and even tell bad words to my parents. She told me I don't know how to give respect to an elder like her but I told her that she is not worthy of it. Because she don't know it herself. Respect is earn not given. And she don't deserve it. If she want me to respect her, she should respect me as well. She didn't even apologize and Nanay, my land lady is the one who apologize to me of what she had done. See how wicked she is. Nanay always told me to be patient towards her because she is like that to her as well.

I am sad with the fact that Nanay get to have such sibling. She don't deserve her. When Nanay get hospitalized because of her diabetes and high cholesterol. There is only one person who is with her and it's her niece. Her closed niece, daughter of her wicked sister. Her siblings didn't even visit her there. And they held a birthday party celebration that same day of Nanay's hospitalization. When we visited her she talked of so many things. All of them was a bad experience with her siblings. No happy memories for her. I feel so heavy hearing them. I believe it's the only memories she would be having even when she pass away.

Now that I heard the news from my friend, I don't know what and how to react. I am actually planning to visit her on weekend and bring something for her. I always wanted to give her our picture during my graduation. I am thinking and trying to remember what food and fruits are allowed for her. But all of that thought was gone when I heard the news she is already gone.

It was already few months that she is dead almost one year. A painful feeling I've felt in my heart. I couldn't believe that I couldn't get to see her one last time. I always wanted to see her. But I guess I am too late now. I could only reminisce her. Reminisce our good memories together. Our good talk and her very nice advice in life. I couldn't forget her. She one amazing person I meet in this life. A person that is a good model of love and patience towards the people around her. I am bless to meet her and had memories with her. I would not forget her and pray for her eternal peace. I hope her painful past and memories were replace of eternal joy.

Nanay wherever you are right now. I hope you are happy. I hope you will guide me and pray that I could achieve my dreams in life. You are not related to me but I dear you like no other.

Rest in peace.

It maybe hard for me to accept that you are gone but I need to. It's hard for me maybe because I wasn't able to do what I wanted to do with you. I realized that I should have come earlier and visit you. Not just because I have something to do in the same place but because I wanted to see you. I promised you before when you asked me to visit you, that I would visit. But I never able to fulfill it. Nay, I may not be able to fulfill the promise I gave long ago but I would fulfill the promised of not forgetting you.