How's the F's in my life?

September 7, 2021

I have read @emily2u article checking her 5 F's and also @Jane but just this evening that I have decided to write something about it too. Looking into how my 5 F's doing in this time around. By the way this writing of Emily and Jane was inspired by the writing of @FarmGirl about our 5 F's too.

After sharing something about me yesterday in the article "A bit-e of me" and learning that I know myself but not better considering others opinion about me too. Now I wanted to share and at the same time asked myself personally how am I doing today according to the 5 F's which is Family, Finance, Fitness, Friendship and Fun.

The 5 F's in my life

Family

I am a family-oriented person and I put them in the top most list of my priority. We are currently 3 members in the family since my brother is already married last month. From the 4 siblings in the family, I am the only 1 left living in the same roof with my parents. Though my eldest sister is just next to us, it still feels like new and deserted, especially that it's so silent. Yeah, I don't converse to them oftentimes if not necessary. I am always facing in my phone, reading here and making noise in noise. I don't know I feel ashamed to them because I don't have job yet and can only give them extra penny through my earnings here. I know it's not what I am thinking but I just feel the pressure and the shamed because I must have job now since I finished my degree. It's been 2 years since I get my license but then I couldn't face them see right through their eyes. I am not sure if my relationship towards them is still healthy but I feel that it's not. I hope I could be awaken from my hibernation state and be away from pressure and shame.

Finance

Most of us today is struggling finance due to the pandemic. Even the ones who have stable job still struggle much more to someone like me who have no stable job. The only earning I have which can provide my daily needs and some want, is from here in read.cash and noise. I am more than happy that the I have the flatform this time of pandemic. It really help me so much that I would not have to asked for my parents some penny to buy my needs and sometimes I could give mom few penny for the needs of the house sometimes. Most of my earnings currently is for the fixing of the house and I am saving it for that. I hope and pray I could accomplished my project for me to get out from the pressure and shame that I am feeling right now.

Fitness

Currently my anxiety strike and I couldn't sleep. I always sleep late which I know led me to low immune system that makes my health at stake. I even got sick last month and I hope September would be a healthy month for me. Just yesterday I get back to my daily routine of 10 minutes exercise everyday and my intermittent fasting of 8:16. I need to go back with my healthy lifestyle for me to become more fit. I am currently working on my sleep and I am making myself fully commit to some changes that I would make that I hope soon I could start. I would like to try 10 pm role. And make some changes to my gadgets time as well because I think this too adds up my problem regarding my sleep.

Friendship

I have few circle of friends in my life and some of it is doing great while others, I think I would slowly forget. It saddens me that I keep on reaching few friends because I missed them so bad but they don't response. They ignore me fully what most sad is that it like I am begging them even just response but they don't care at all. I guess, it's time to forget them. They don't missed me as much as I missed them. They only reach to me when they need something from me. But then I m still happy because I have friends that is true and treat me the way I treat them. Having someone to call as a friend is a gift and I am glad I have those gifts from God.

Fun

Right now I have the right amount of fun that I needed. It's not that luxurious but it's not poor too. It's just minimum, right and just lol. I have time to have fun whenever I wanted. But it's just that I am putting it in minimum because it's shameful in my part that I keep roaming while in fact I must have gone to work at my age but then I don't have stable job. Meeting with my friends and having food trips is my kind of fun. Cooking with my sisters is fun for me. Fixing my cabinet is fun. And polishing my nail is fun. Some other time I visit a friend and we do riding without knowing where to go. That is my kind of fun. I am cherishing it because sooner or later I won't be having the same fun as this.

Other F in my life

I also have other F in my life that I would like to add to the 5 F's of @FarmGirl I hope you wouldn't mind.

Freedom

I have freedom to do whatever I wanted because I am already in the right age to decide things for myself but then I prefer not to dive with the extent of freedom that others wanted. I anchor my freedom to Lord. The type of freedom that is incline with His will as to what's good and not in his eyes. Not the freedom that my human nature wanted. Yes I can but I chose not to. In terms of family I prefer in this way that they are near me cause I know they will not be forever with me. As to my finance I am don't have financial freedom, buying all I want without minding the price. But I am okay with it and I prefer this way. Even if I could have the choice and chance.

Faith

This is the F that is my personal favorite since the time I journey with the Lord through the Youth for Christ community. We have the 4 F's there too. That is Fun, Faith, friendship and freedom. Yes, that's where I get the idea of the too F's. So much about that, I am glad that the Lord found me through the community and since then my faith was strengthen and I enjoyed through the journey. I found his goodness, his love and all his gifts. The faith that I have right now is I guess the only thing that won't be taken away from me not education, I believe. Well, that's how I see it.

Closing thought

As I write this I could see how my life was doing right now. Realizing some things especially the emotional aspects while facing the different aspects in my life. I am glad I had the time to access myself for me to be aware of my current status as a whole right now.

With this pandemic around us today, we must learned what is our status in order for us to know why we are responding like that and what is our disposition. And then decide. Are you going to continue with it? Are you happy? Is that the right disposition you have right now? Are you going to change it? And more questions to ponder upon knowing and learning the status of your 5 F's and if you have the 2 more F's please access them too.

Thank you so much for reading.

Thank you as well to my dearest sponsors and friends for always making my heart leaps for joy for your generosity and support.

I appreciate you all. As always, I love you.