Repairing Instead of Breaking!!
Hello good evening my loves. How are you all doing? I'm going to directly jump into today's topic as I feel this is something that is very important in our lives that we need to learn before entering the commitment of marriage...and maintain even after marriage.
So what has been happening in my life is from few months, I have been hearing a lot of news about the members of my family and also few friends are getting divorced. As of the time I'm writing this post, there are three different couples, two of my husband's friends and one couple if my cousin and sister in law are on the verge of getting separated in the eyes of court of law. It is completely fine if people are trying to get out of abusive relationships but these cases are so different.. Majority of families these days are not trying to repair their relationships with their partner and instead trying to completely breaking it off altogether.
Why is this happening? what happened to the vows they promised each other at the time of their wedding? what about the situation of their kids? do they even realize about the mental health trauma the kid is going to face just because we cannot forgive little things from other gender... One of my husband's friend's case is like this..
So few months ago, his kid who was just a month's old baby got severely infected of some disease and as a good father, he stood with his kid and wife giving all his support emotionally financially and every possible way until the baby is treated and brought back home healthy... Any wife would have been thankful for having such responsible husband right? but I do not what or why, but she took the baby and left him to her Mom's house blaming him for being the reason why the kid was infected. My husband questioned him whether that was true, but his friend swore on his life that he had no idea why his wife thought that way because during the time of the treatment, she seemed fine but this came out of blue...
And now, she filed for divorce... I was surprised to see is this even a reason to get divorced?? this could never be a good reason isn't it? how about the kid's future without a father, that too a responsible one? And the girl's mother instead of advising her, is fueling the issue and encouraging her behavior. This is one case and all three cases of divorce are more or less the same.. Everyone has their egos right now, everyone is over their heads and nobody is ready to compromise these days...
Repairing a relationship saves time, money and mental health in 90% of the cases instead of trying to simply breaking it like it never happened. But how can we do that? let's see the ways that I think can work
Take time everyday to connect again and again with your partner.. little things matter a lot.. things like making them some coffee when they are tierd or sharing responsibility makes them think they you really care about them.
Give recognition and proper compliment whenever your partner deserves. Imagine they cooked something nice for you or wore a new dress.. a simple compliment will make a lot of difference in the way your relationship works... A positive affirmation is always welcomed.
Just treat the way your partner wants to be treated. One of the problems I heard was "I made him lot of food, but he did not eat any and insulted me" and when my husband asked his friend, he said "I'm allergic to specific ingredients, she forgot that".. Give attention to important details.
Always be faithful...It is never worth to lose your partner over few minutes of happiness..
Give equal importance to spending time together and also alone.. A best relationship is knowing to take your partner to some fun activities and spend time with them and also giving them space whenever they require it... just do not overdo either..
Become best friends with your partner... This is extremely important in a relationship.. be the best possible friend towards your partner and in that way, they do not see you as a wife/husband post but see you as a person that you can rely on always. After all, it has been proven that those who became friends first before marriage had the best bonding ever.
LISTEN... LISTEN... LISTEN...I cannot even stress how important this point is... Do not invalidate your wife's/husband's issues like they are small or something.. Always listen to them, understand, give moral support and let them know you are there for them...
Talk clearly about your finances and have boundaries.. Do not share passwords and have some respect towards each other's assets.
Get counselling often if you realize you have been having issues very frequently.. a third party, especially professional can always look equally at both ways and could help you see things that you did not think in different way.
These are some points I know to maintain a good relationship.. it hurts me to imagine the future of the kids..I do not give a frik about the parents but my thoughts and prayers go for those kids who had to go through such nasty situation of their parent's break up. No kid deserves that...I hope they get proper counselling and help before deciding to part ways...
Thank you everyone, much love to all my friends and sponsors. Lemme know in the comments what do you think about this situation
If I can make stay as a couple why not for the sake of the kids. However, if things really didn't work out that both of us is hurting each other and the children knows it, it's better to stop than to make it worst.