Repairing Instead of Breaking!!

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2 years ago
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Hello good evening my loves. How are you all doing? I'm going to directly jump into today's topic as I feel this is something that is very important in our lives that we need to learn before entering the commitment of marriage...and maintain even after marriage.

So what has been happening in my life is from few months, I have been hearing a lot of news about the members of my family and also few friends are getting divorced. As of the time I'm writing this post, there are three different couples, two of my husband's friends and one couple if my cousin and sister in law are on the verge of getting separated in the eyes of court of law. It is completely fine if people are trying to get out of abusive relationships but these cases are so different.. Majority of families these days are not trying to repair their relationships with their partner and instead trying to completely breaking it off altogether.

Why is this happening? what happened to the vows they promised each other at the time of their wedding? what about the situation of their kids? do they even realize about the mental health trauma the kid is going to face just because we cannot forgive little things from other gender... One of my husband's friend's case is like this..

So few months ago, his kid who was just a month's old baby got severely infected of some disease and as a good father, he stood with his kid and wife giving all his support emotionally financially and every possible way until the baby is treated and brought back home healthy... Any wife would have been thankful for having such responsible husband right? but I do not what or why, but she took the baby and left him to her Mom's house blaming him for being the reason why the kid was infected. My husband questioned him whether that was true, but his friend swore on his life that he had no idea why his wife thought that way because during the time of the treatment, she seemed fine but this came out of blue...

And now, she filed for divorce... I was surprised to see is this even a reason to get divorced?? this could never be a good reason isn't it? how about the kid's future without a father, that too a responsible one? And the girl's mother instead of advising her, is fueling the issue and encouraging her behavior. This is one case and all three cases of divorce are more or less the same.. Everyone has their egos right now, everyone is over their heads and nobody is ready to compromise these days...

Repairing a relationship saves time, money and mental health in 90% of the cases instead of trying to simply breaking it like it never happened. But how can we do that? let's see the ways that I think can work

  • Take time everyday to connect again and again with your partner.. little things matter a lot.. things like making them some coffee when they are tierd or sharing responsibility makes them think they you really care about them.

  • Give recognition and proper compliment whenever your partner deserves. Imagine they cooked something nice for you or wore a new dress.. a simple compliment will make a lot of difference in the way your relationship works... A positive affirmation is always welcomed.

  • Just treat the way your partner wants to be treated. One of the problems I heard was "I made him lot of food, but he did not eat any and insulted me" and when my husband asked his friend, he said "I'm allergic to specific ingredients, she forgot that".. Give attention to important details.

  • Always be faithful...It is never worth to lose your partner over few minutes of happiness..

  • Give equal importance to spending time together and also alone.. A best relationship is knowing to take your partner to some fun activities and spend time with them and also giving them space whenever they require it... just do not overdo either..

  • Become best friends with your partner... This is extremely important in a relationship.. be the best possible friend towards your partner and in that way, they do not see you as a wife/husband post but see you as a person that you can rely on always. After all, it has been proven that those who became friends first before marriage had the best bonding ever.

  • LISTEN... LISTEN... LISTEN...I cannot even stress how important this point is... Do not invalidate your wife's/husband's issues like they are small or something.. Always listen to them, understand, give moral support and let them know you are there for them...

  • Talk clearly about your finances and have boundaries.. Do not share passwords and have some respect towards each other's assets.

  • Get counselling often if you realize you have been having issues very frequently.. a third party, especially professional can always look equally at both ways and could help you see things that you did not think in different way.

These are some points I know to maintain a good relationship.. it hurts me to imagine the future of the kids..I do not give a frik about the parents but my thoughts and prayers go for those kids who had to go through such nasty situation of their parent's break up. No kid deserves that...I hope they get proper counselling and help before deciding to part ways...

Thank you everyone, much love to all my friends and sponsors. Lemme know in the comments what do you think about this situation

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2 years ago

Comments

If I can make stay as a couple why not for the sake of the kids. However, if things really didn't work out that both of us is hurting each other and the children knows it, it's better to stop than to make it worst.

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2 years ago

Perhaps people are becoming less patient and tolerant, and always ready to separate when something goes wrong. Some people use it as a show of force aiming to manipulate their partner to do their bidding when they want. I agree with you, we should do better to mend these relationships however we can

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2 years ago

I hear things about people saying that relationships are hard. Me, I don't really think so. If you truly love a person it shouldn't be hard, even if it is, it shouldn't be seen as hard. If by chance something goes wrong, everything should be done to maintain. In my belief, among the permissible acts ordained by God, divorce is the most frowned upon. That's goes to show that even if it is permissible it should only happen when it is extremely.. And I mean extremely necessary. People these days divorce their spouse out of impulsiveness, like some adults with kid pants.

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2 years ago

Divorce rate is increasing and I ask myself sometimes why? Could it be marrying the wrong person? Even when they have dated for years before tying the knots. It somehow surprises me. Blame happening today and divorce happening tomorrow. Marriage can never be a movie industry!

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2 years ago

It's so sad how people are too quick to ask for a divorce without trying to fix things. A lot of people never took time to understand the demands of their marital vows in order to ensure that they could fulfil it with the person they're marrying

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2 years ago

Yeah, nowadays, divorce is like a norm, and marriage is becoming more and more ancient. I don't think her reason makes any sense; why leave now when the baby is ok?

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2 years ago

exactly.. they just need reasons to break it up..

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2 years ago

My dear friend, you raised a very good and important issue. Unfortunately, divorce rates are rising all over the world these days, and that's really bitter. As you said, parental separation is very sad for children. I have seen many divorced children, how much they have been harmed. The souls of these children are really hurt, they don't deserve such grief. I wish some parents would give up their arrogance, selfishness and stubbornness because of their child. All the points you made were very useful and thought-provoking for me.

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2 years ago

The lady has been waiting for any slight reason to go for the divorce paper. It's hard to believe that divorce ensued from just what they assumed. And even if it's true, sickness comes and go

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2 years ago

Very important things to be discussed ma'am. You just did the right thing bringing it in the spotlight. And yes the most important thing to consider is about the kid. They are the ones who are the worst affected, they recede themselves from expressing themselves and get emotionally burdened., affecting their growth.

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2 years ago

And you just made me emotional today. Hats off. You narrated something which is actually valuable.

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2 years ago