I kid you not

21st July 2021 1645 Hello Readers, I am guessing most of you will be asleep now or pretty soon. I had a day away from writing yesterday, we all need a break every so often to recharge our batteries. But I was still reading and have been drawn into doing the latest wee challenge that I saw on the awesome article from @CoquiCoin which you can read here . It is share ten facts about you as a kid. Well I have tried to share a range of ten facts or things, so here we go then Readers, ten fun and quirk facts or things I did as a kid.

• Didn't like strawberries.

Yes when I was a child I didn't like them. They are okay now, but I never go out of my way to buy them. Strawberries are very popular in the UK, and they grow well in Scotland. I remember as a child they had pick your own farms. Then mother would make jars and jars of jam. So I would get hauled off with a plastic ice carton and told to pick only the red strawberries, I soon discovered that they also had pick your own raspberries, so I would ask to pick the raspberries instead. Now this was heaven. I would be standing there, saying one for the tub, and two for my mouth, I was a wee rascal and ate loads and loads. To this day I still love raspberries, they are my favourite fruit. Give me raspberry jam anyday of the week.

• Met the Queen.

It was our schools 150th Anniversary and I was in Primary 6 so would have been 10. Our class teacher Mr Benson, was the arts and crafts teacher. The queen was doing a tour of the school and was due to visit our classroom to see us all making model airplanes out of balsa wood. I was charging ahead as I do, and almost finished my plane, when I decided that I wanted to give the edges of my wings a smoother curve to them. Problem sorted I would quickly use my craft knife to slice off a wee bit of wood. We heard footsteps in the corridor and it was apparent that the Queen's entourage was approaching. Quickly I thought, so I got the knife and cut the wood, unfortunately I kept going and not only cut wood but sliced a chunk out of my thumb below the fingernail (I still have a little scar to this day). Being a quick thinker, I used my handkerchief to wrap my thumb. By this time Her Majesty was in our classroom going round and taking to some of my fellow classmates. I had my back to the wall and my left hand behind my back. Smiling she walked up to me, and asked if I had started painting as she noticed the red marks on the wood. Oh yes I replied Your Majesty as I bowed my head and shook her hand. I am sure she knew it was blood, she then said she was looking forward to hearing us sing later that night.

My teacher gave me a lecture when they left, as by now he had figured out what happened and sent me to the school Nurse.

Later that night we all went to the Usher Hall in Edinburgh (the big music venue like the Albert Hall in London) and sang in a big choir various classical songs for Her Majesty. They even made a record of it!

• Unwrapped all my Father's Christmas presents.

The first born male on my father's side of the family is always called Edward, I am Edward the seventh. This can make for confusing times, especially when I was a very wee bairn (bairn is Scottish for child). One Christmas I must have been 4 or 5, I got up when everyone was asleep, and snuck downstairs and went to the Christmas tree.

I collected all the presents that had Edward on them, and started to rip the paper off. I can only imagine in all my excitement that I must have been loud. So I got caught with heaps of adult socks around me by my mother, who could only laugh as I complained people had given me far too big socks!

• Was a magicians assistant.

For my eight Birthday Party, my parents hired a magician. After many card tricks and pulling rabbits out of his hat, he asked for me to be his assistant. Fair enough I am game for a laugh, even from a young age. He got me to sit down on a chair infront of him, and asked whether I would to have a super brain. Not really knowing what he meant I said yes. The next thing he had an electric drill and started it. The other kids looked shocked as he put it over my head and started drilling. I didn't feel anything but was worried he had drilled a hole in my head. He then got a bottle and said he was pouring the super fluid into my brain and could I feel or taste anything. I said yes I feel raspberry juice coming down from my head into my mouth.

A big round of applause from kids and adults alike. He showed me the bottle and it was raspberry juice. I have no idea what he did but I still touch where he drilled and seem to visualise things, he gave me a super brain haha.

• Put makeup all over my face.

I remember one summer we went on a road trip and went to visit a cousin of my mother. She was in her early twenties I think. Anyways I went off wandering and snuck into her bedroom, and found a desk where she had all kinds of things, apparently it was her make up table. I had a merry old time, putting red and purple lipsticks all over my face, and using foundation with the little powder puff that you use. I went downstairs after I heard my name being called. Luckily she was okay and thought it was funny.

• Crayons in grandpa's study

I was a wee bit mischievous as a child I think! My grandmother used to call me a lovable rascal. My mothers parents lived in Fife, which is where I live now, and we often would visit them in the school holidays. I remember one day in the summer it was raining and I was bored. I was not allowed into my grandfathers sudy, never knew why not until later, but one day I went in there, and found paper and crayons, I had fun drawing on the paper, then the paper ran out, and there was this lovely white wall that was so inviting. I drew a little village on it! Boy did I get in trouble. No dinner and sent to my room. Grandma save me from a beating though, even brought me a jam sandwich when nobody was looking!

• Breaking the cross.

My families are Christian, however from different sides. My mothers family is very Protestant and my fathers family is very Roman Catholic. It did make me grow up wanting to be neither especially as the troubles in Northern Ireland where I lived until the age of 5 were all down to religion. However I digress, I never knew my fathers father, but I did know his two aunts, my great aunts, Mother Superior Veronica and Sister Dorothy, they both belonged to the Convent of the Sacred Heart order. Veronica I hardly ever saw as she was always in Rome or Ireland or someplace. She was the one who wrote religious books for children. Dorothy however was much more down to earth and was a biology and nature teacher, and where I got my love for nature from I think. When I was young we were allowed to visit Dorothy in the convent on special occasions for tea and scones. I used to sit on her knee and was fascinated by the big silver crucifix she wore round her neck that drooped over her habit. One day I must have been super strong but I pulled and it broke and fell over the floor. I got into so much trouble when I got home!

• Throwing space hopper through bedroom window.

I wonder if anyone remembers the bright orange bouncy space hoppers that you used to sit on and bounce up and down the street on. They still have them I see, but call them retro! One day as kids I was playing with my next door neighbour who was my best friend I have no idea what happened, but we got into an argument in upstairs in my bedroom, and he tried to hit me, next thing I knew I was banging this space hopper off his head, I let go and it went clean through the window. Only problem the window was closed and yes you guessed it, smash , the glass broke and space hopper landed out side with glass everywhere. Just you wait till your Father gets home said my mother. How I wished for a hole to eat me. Punishment : six bloody hard whacks of a gym shoe on my little ass, seriously sore I can tell you!

• The case of the Blunt pencil.

First day of school and five years old. My class teacher was Mrs Landalls, I shall never forget that name ever! We shall practice our writing now children. Get out your paper and pencils she said. I get my pencil out from my pencil case, get out my paper. Now start to write your full name out as neatly as you can, and I shall come round and see your progress she said. I start to write and realise I am making a mess as my pencil lead broke.

YOU BOY what is your name? Edward I said, Edward what she said. Edward Blount I replied. Well BLOUNT she said in a high pitched screech, come here with your paper and pencil. I took them to her, she looks at me and my pencil.

Hold out you hand, palm down BLOUNT and hurry up. I do as I am told, next thing she gets her wooden ruler, and hits it over my knuckles three times. My hand is stinging and all I hear is YOU WILL NEVER BRING A BLUNT PENCIL TO MY CLASS AGAIN BLOUNT DO YOU UNDERSTAND! She was a crazy mad woman, I remember her red eyes, a bloody sadist I am convinced. But I never did bring a blunt pencil to class again.

• Wrote my first and last journal

My favourite subject at Primary School was biology. One summer holidays we were told to keep a diary or journal of all the walks and things we did in nature over the summer holidays. It was a cool time, as I went fishing many times and caught different types of fish, went on lots of nature walks and learnt about different trees and flowers. So I wrote all this down and got a special reward for having the best holiday journal. Even though I had fun, I never did do it again, no idea why not to be honest!

So there we have it, I could do more but those ten were the first I thought of!

Thank you for reading you awesome beautiful people.

Copyright @TengoLoTodo 2021 and yes All Rights Reserved. All images and words are from the author unless source mentioned.

Haste ye back.