Old Filipino Norms That Needs To Be Changed

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2 years ago
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In the world we are living today, there are norms that we can always find everywhere. As the world evolve some of it are changing too however some continue to remain throughout the time like a standing still statue. This article is not intend to bring down other people but based on the current happenings inside the society and for me it's time for us to wake up from this nightmare.

It is so sick to live in a place where everyone thought something is okay but in reality it's not. It is like being stuck inside the box and you have no choice but to stick to it until someone will take you away from it. This is what happening to the society today and how Filipino seems to believe that these things throughout our daily lives are acceptable simply because they think it is all fair.

Do not talk back to elders

My father is living a wrong mindset about this. Whenever there's a chaos at home, he always wanted to talk so much and punish us physically whenever we talk back. How are we going to say the things we want to say if we cannot speak for it? It is a toxic culture in Filipino that when you talk back to elders you are disrespecting them. It is a form of communication when a human talk back especially if the words spoken are decent then there's nothing wrong in talking back. Let us cut the one sided talk and speak what should be spoken.

As a child you should pay back to your parents one day

We always hear about being grateful towards our parents. Yes we should always be but what about when you are given all the responsibilities as a breadwinner for the whole member of the family inside the house? It is very wrong. I have made an article before where I talk about "A child is not an investment." This got so many reactions. It is not okay to raise your child as an investment fund for the future.

It's okay for a young boy to enter a relationship but not to a young girl

This is one of the commons norms where a Filipino parent is excited to see their young son getting a girlfriend for the first time but not to their young daughter. The young daughter is always reminded to study first before entering a relationship while they are pushing the young son to court a girl. This is like a gender discrimination and biases. It's time to treat both gender fairly and equally without favoritism.

Having a backer in the job

Mostly, when you apply for a job here in Philippines you will only be hired once you have a "backer." A backer is someone who are in the highest position and has a great influence to a certain job. If you have a backer, you'll easily land a job but if you have none then expect that you will not be the priority.

You are selfish if you refuse to give

If you are living a good life and somebody ask to lend a money but you refuse it then you will loathed as a selfish person. For me, rejecting for a valid reason is understandable besides you have work hard for the money you earned. Most of the time, lending money will make them think that it's okay to borrow over and over again and if you will refuse you will be called selfish in the end.

Not because the society normalize a certain thing doesn't mean it is right or acceptable. We need to have an inmate awareness and knowledge that some things shouldn't be tolerated. They need to be cut and they need to be change. I strongly believe that it only takes a person to change the world and the society. May it be you who will change it and break the wrong stigma. Society can mold us at the same point they can destroy us one by one. We shouldn't let these things be happening and have voice on our own to speak the things that we know is right.

March 9, 2022

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2 years ago

Comments

All these points you noted are typically correct when looking at is from the perspective you saw it. The first one, TALKING BACK AT ELDERS, it's very bad when someone is not allowed to express himself because the the opposite person is an elder. It's very bad

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2 years ago

That is also based on my experience where my father doesn't want us to speak, it's very unfair and irritating that you have no rights to speak what is correct.

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2 years ago

Yeah, very unfair

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2 years ago

Until now he is still saying that line as if he is a god or what. I don't find it fair, never.

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2 years ago

Hindi na yata mawala yan backer or palakasan sa work. Gang ngayon meron pa din yan. Kaya kahit na skilled ka at magaling sa field no eh kung wala kang backer, malabo ka matanggap.

About naman doon sa talk back to elders, i guess depende sa kung paano ka mangatwiran. May iba kasi na pabalang talaga kung sumagot sa parents. Kami dito sa bahay eh pinapakinggan talaga namin un anak namin, about her thoughts, her opinion sa mga bagay bagay at kapag may mga di pagkakaintindihan eh tinatanong talaga namin sya about sa side nya. Importantesa amin na lam naminnun nasa sa loob nya.

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2 years ago

Yan yung tama na parenting ate pachuchay kaya yung iba lumaking may sama ng loob kasi kahit ni Isa di man lang sila napakinggan.

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2 years ago

Sigurondahil ako eh lumakinsa ganun, i was never heard before kaya ayoko mangyare sa anak ko un..

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2 years ago

Buti pa kayo ate pachuchay. May mga tao talaga na makaluma pa rin ang isip hayss.

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2 years ago

Yan ang culture natin dati ehh, pero ngayon ibang iba nah, at ngayon palakasan ng backer sah trabaho, dati palakasan ng utak para makapasok ng trabaho

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2 years ago

Napakasaklap what if wala kang backer pero deserving ka makakuha ng job hayys sana mahinto na yung ganyan.

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2 years ago

Unfair dvah? Kaya nga maraming walang trabaho ngayon kahit professional,

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2 years ago

True. Sana naman may mag push niyan sa senado na tanggalin na yang mga backer sa job application.

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2 years ago

Sobrang relate ako sa pangangatwiran at child is not an investment. Nararanasan ko yan through these years sa magulang ko, lalo at sasabihan pa kaming wala kaming karapatan pagsabihan sila ng mali nila hanggat wala pa kaming napapatunayan.

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2 years ago

Tama. Napakabulok ng mindset nila, kapag ba sasagot ibig sabihin non wala ng disiplina? Gusto nila yung side lang nila yung pakikinggan.

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2 years ago

mga toxic traits ng mga Filipino sana mabago pa. up to this day kasi ganyan pa din eh.

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2 years ago

Kaya minsan nakakainis na Usagi, yung para sa kanila normal lang lahat pero sa totoo di na tama.

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2 years ago

kaya ang importante, wag na natin ipasa sa mga magiging anak natin iyan.

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2 years ago

Yes Usagi. Responsible and open parenthood dapat sa future parang walang mga bata ang lalaking may sama ng loob.

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2 years ago

Di lang sama ng loob. Sana wag ba din mqhawa sa ka toxican ba.

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2 years ago

Totoo yan Usagi, nagiging rebelde nga yung bata kapag nasa toxic family lumaki.

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2 years ago

Oo, ganyan ako nuon kaya sabi ko kapag nagka anak ako eh hindi ko hahayaan na maging toxic din ako skanila.

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2 years ago

Dapat may openness din like kung may masamang nagawa yung parent dapat iacknowledge nila.

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2 years ago

On point lahat. I'm lucky that my father is not like other parents. Lumaki ako na hinahayaan nya Kong mangatwiran kapag alam Kong Tama ako Kasi palagi nyang sinasabi Hindi lahat ng sinasabi ng magulang ay Tama.

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Buti ka pa Yen, sa amin kasi pagbubuhatan ng kamay kapag sasagot parang violence Yung makukuha mo.

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2 years ago

Super true sis. I think it has something to do with our culture. Nakasanayan kasi at syempre bilang pagrespeto sa mga turo ng mga nakatatanda. I guess onti onti naman ng nababago as time goes by:)

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2 years ago

Yes yhanne pero yung isa sa di ko maintindihan ay yung bakit masama ang sumagot sa mas nakakatanda, pano kung sila yung mali at ikaw yung tama hayss.

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2 years ago

Well in that case wala akong kontra. You will know that once you become a parent.

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2 years ago

Yes I understand yhanne. Do you already have children?

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2 years ago

Yes two boys na makulit😁 at talaga namang challenging ang pagpapalaki ng mga bata ngayon. Kaya habang bata pa lang kelangan turuan mo ng tamang disiplina but of course in a proper way. I believe kapag maayos silang napalaki eh di sila malilihis ng landas. Hopefully magawa namin ni hubby.

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2 years ago

Yeah most of these norms really needs to let go or be changed a little into our generation because some of them makes sense but it also have some to be changed a little bit like for talking back to parents it's not write to really talk back into our parents but they also needs to consider that defending ourselves or ourselves is just right because when we say what we are really thinking they will say that we are so disrespectful and we are talking back to them even though we really don't have any intention to disrespect them. I also do hate the thing that they think a child is a savings account that will bring them wealth in the future it's alright to help our parents and family because we are family but I just hate that is like being the way of thinking that you should pay them back.

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2 years ago

Exactly. Some parents will expect that after the child will graduate they will have stable job and they can sustain the family. It's a curse.

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2 years ago

They should be changed really. I agree all those you have mentioned, but what I don't like most is a child is an investment. We created by God not for business.

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2 years ago

Yes exactly. Honestly even my parents still have that kind of mindset and I want to cut that toxic mentality forever.

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2 years ago

Those norms and belief are already in our culture that must be change, youngsters have no power to voice out themselves due to norms that youngsters hold respect elders even though their actions and words are inappropriate, once you asnwrwd back then you'll be slapped or curse with different hurtful words. I am also disagreeing with the norms that children must take the responsibility inside the house specially the elders, it's so much pressure for elders having this mindset since they are obliged to become bread winner of the family and sacrifice themselves.

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2 years ago

Yes kuya. Sometimes I want to break free from these old mindset because we are not going any, we are not succeeding in life because we like to cling into these old systems.

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2 years ago

There's a difference in talking back disrespectfully and explaining your side. Most oldies refer to it as the same walang respeto attitude knowing that our parents were the ones who raised us. Eto problema sa family namin, goes with my cousins as well. Dito din nagffall yung kapag mas nakakatatanda ka tama ka, pero dapat kung mas nakakatanda ka ikaw dapat mas nakakaintindi sa mas nakababata. And parents who think that way should also reflect why their kids are misbehaving or talking back direspectfully.

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2 years ago

Yan talaga yung nanonotice ko ngayon eh. Yung mga matatanda gusto nila sila yung tama porket dahil sa edad nila, so sad na kahit tama ka kailangan mo manahimik kung ayaw mo matawag na walang respeto.

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2 years ago

This is because the influence of culture that has existed since ancient times and continues to be held by parents from generation to generation and indeed it is time to change the paradigm that does not match logic, existing norms must be respected because it is an element of culture that exists in one area but not all the norm is in accordance with the truth and the reality that exists as the next generation who already has good intellectuals, it's time to change this, my friend.

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2 years ago

Yes, and change doesn't happen instantly. Everyone must contribute to make it a success. Thanks for reading my article.

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2 years ago