Secret to a lasting relationship

I may sound like a pro but I am not close to being one. I am jotting this down to help others still believe in love. That long lasting relationships are still possible, there are just few things, but not limited to what I will be uttering, that can help you achieve a real lasting relationship.

Here they are:

Support a gamer bf, generally their likes.

When your partner is a gamer, you shouldn't throw tantrums more frequently just to demand for his time, especially when he's playing. I mean, most girls are guilty of this but remember to give your partner some time to relax and time he can call his "me time". Have a decent conversation of when and how are you gonna make time for each other and time for yourselves. I know that once you are inlove, it may feel like you are never getting enough of that person and therefore demands more. Just remember that in order to have a healthy relationship, you should have time to breathe, trust one another, consider their happiness too not just yours. Everyone has this one or more things that they love doing, and just because you are in that relationship, you have all the rights to change a person's identity. Support them, you can even study what they love and maybe you can turn your "me time" to "we time" 😂 Maybe you haven't unleash your monster gaming skills yet. Who knows, maybe you're great at it?

Don't be overly controlling and paranoid.

Some girls and guys are guilty controlling their girlfriend/boyfriend over some stuffs. It maybe telling what you're partner shouldn't wear or should be eating or must be texting or hanging out with. I know this one is an all time argumentative topic which I found interesting so I included it. As years passed, I am now happy to see how women are becoming wiser and now gaining their voices. As far as clothing is concerned, I think it is cute that your partner is somehow concerned about you and is looking after you. Maybe they are just protecting you over unwanted maliciousness and possible future dangers from wicked minds. However, I found it irrational when I heard over a news that another girl has became a rape victim just because she wore sleeveless and shorts in public. They reciprocate the fact that some men are disrespectful and evil towards women. They therefore blamed those victims because of their clothes during that time of incident. We should change or delete this mindset that supports a rapist rather than the expression of oneself- which is clothing. Evil desires fired up because you feed your mind with it. Don't blame others for your committed mistakes. Everyone deserves a safer place to enjoy and have freedom to wear what they want.

Being paranoid as not letting your partner hang out with his friends because you are doubting his female friends would come. As I have said trust and communication are both essential in a relationship. Boy should tell the details, for me this is important for emergency purposes. In some cases, even if the boy said whom he will be hanging out with but others joined in(clingy girls) unexpectedly is a matter of how much you trust your partner. Some jealousy are cute but constant jealousy and paranoia ruins it all.

Texting, calling or constantly checking your partners phone however may back fire, unless everyones agreed with it. Trust should be included in basic formula of a loving relationship. Nevertheless, if trust was broken I can never blame the partner for controlling or invading your privacy.

Know your partner deeply.

This one is given, knowing that if you love someone(even if you are just starting to like them), you will be more curious about them. You make ways to understand them and make them happy. Some people stalk their crushies on social medias if they don't have chances to talk to that person for long. Or have been secretly admiring someone and wanting to see them smile through gists they wanted. Seeing your special someone smile is super rewarding and contagious. You may not display it but making them happy will make you happy.

Never keep a bad record.

I used to write our fights, no matter how big or small, I wrote them all. How it happened, why it happened, who's fault was it, what solution should be done. Until I realized it has becoming a list already and it reminded me about a bible verse that love should never keep a record of wrongs.

I realized that what I was filling my heart was anger not love. I was totally busy focusing on who's fault was it and reasons to hate him more not to be the patient one and forgiving.

I realized I was unfair, I was flooded even with his simple mistakes and finding what reasons to break up with, not the reasons to hold on. If you are doing this as well, keeping records of wrong doings. Please stop, no matter if you are not writing it down or just storing those in your mind. It will cause your relationship a harmful effect because you are not just accumulating it but you are inviting negative energy in your life and in your relationship.

Compromise.

If you are in a fresh start of a relationship, you may or may not know yet your differences and may be surprised that you have conflicting wants or principles or traits. That is normal because we are made differently unique. This could build a strong foundation to yout relationship or break you apart.

For example you have different daily routines, one is a night owl and one is an early bird. As early in the morning, one is craving for sweet "good morning" message from her partner but the other is still sleeping. Once waken up, his work took over and failed to message even once. This caused fire and constant arguments, even if it just happened once. Simple failure could tear them. How can they can do better? Lower the pride, have a peaceful talk, listen, be patient, know your partner's love language. Maybe you are just demanding him to message you everyday which can make him choke up with the relationship. There are two of you involved in the relationship, you must think of your partner too not just yourself.

Not everyone is as patient and forgiving. We are humans, we tend to easily be angered and hurt our love ones too because they hurt us first. Maybe we are expecting to be loved the way we dreamed of, not realizing that everyone has flaws. At one point or another the people closest in our hearts will disappoint us. Be patient, compromise, forgive.

Staying in a relationship is a choice, happiness is a choice, loving is a choice, if it's a choice then we therefore have control over it. Small sacrifices wont hurt us seeing how big the fulfillment we'll be achieving in lasting relationship that we ever wanted.