I'm not really an expert when it comes to Love seriously. I'm living in mars for 16 years now but I'm still not sure if what I felt to someone when I liked him is love or just a simple admiration. I can't really tell, I feel like it's love but I feel like it's not. I still remember when I'm still with my ex, what I feel for him is so intense that I thought it will last until eternity. You know, I am so sure that time that he will be my last, but things happened and suddenly, the love that I felt for him vanish. I thought I can do everything for him to make him happy but I had to end our relationship because there's no love anymore. It's s me, the problem is in me.
Our relationship didn't even last long. I can't really remember now of how long we become girlfriend and boyfriend. I can't remember the day we become together, I can't remember the exact date of when I met him. All I can remember is I become a messeger for him and her crush which is my classmate. I find him cute that time and sweet that's why I learn to like him. Well, para lang akong asong nakatanghod sa kanila that time but I really want to wring the beautiful kangaroo like neck of him and end his life with my own hand (seriously 😑).
What is love anyway? I've been in a relationship for 5 times now and I can't still understand what Love is. All I know is the I love I feel for my parents and siblings, the kind of safe and love for a family. But love to a certain someone? I'm not really sure with that. I don't know why when I like someone, the feelings is just for a short time. So it's really not love right? It's just a simple admiration. Or maybe, I'm not yet ready to a serious relationship? Ah, I don't know, I'm not really sure. It's easy for me to like someone specially if when I spend time talking with him, you know parang nasanay. But if I choose to move on, makaka move on ako agad.
Is this normal ba? And another thing, I can't really understand those teenagers who's ready to elope with their boyfriend or girlfriend just to be with them. They are so young so how can they tell that it's love and they will be forever until their death bed right? I feel like they are so naive to think that way. They will go with their boyfriend or girlfriend without thinking the consequence of their act. And when things got serious at ang "Kapusukan" ay "Nagbunga" they will run into their mother like they didn't do anything thay make their parents feel disappointed.
Parents do everything they need to do just so they can give a better future for their kids, but sometimes no matter how hard you work hard they will still see it as "Paghihigpit." So I can see where they are coming. Even if I'm not a Mom yet, I already saw a lot of kind of teenagers that was hit by love, to the point that they will disobey their parents. I once thought of eloping with my ex before, but my Love and fear to my mom is still strong that I can't find the courage to do it. I just can't give up my study for a relationship that I'm not even sure if it will last until we get old.
They are just being protective to their child that's why I think they will do what they think is the best for their kids. I can't really understand Mom back then, but I think I understand her now. Who said that we can only understand it if we are on that situation? I'm seeing a lot of teens on Social Media na at 15 they already experience having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Well we can see a lot actually, it's like being in a relationship at young age is what's in now. It can be, naipagkakamali nila yong nararamdaman nila to their someone or maybe it's real.
Diko talaga alam anong pinaglalaban ko dito mga dears, gomen. It's just that, when I was in High School I never experienced that "Young Love" that they are saying. All I care that time was pocketbook, text mates, clan mate and my crushes. I actually enjoyed my time having a lot of text mate and the two timing thingy, but I'm not saying am proud of that two timing okay, No I'm really not 🤠. Also I didn't get to the point where I will defy Mom for a boyfriend, but I thought of running away from home because I want to rebel. She's so tight to me that I want to remove the chain that she put on my neck.
But I admit that, there are young couples there that really stay as a couple until they decided to get married. But not all no, because some in the end still part ways even if they are a couple for a decade na. Some decided to end their relationship because of their goals, some end it because the spark that they had before was gone now, some end it because one cheated, some end it because they both want it. Different reason but, not all relationship that start at a young age is a success. Lucky those who still have each other now even after a years, and unlucky those who was left behind because of some circumstances.
And lucky me, because I still have my freedom. I can like anyone I want, I can focus on myself without thinking of a kids or a jerk partner in life. I can move on easily if I want to when I get rejected. Sure I get hurt, but I have a lot of kwashes kashe, wahahaha. Anyway, I will end this article now. I think, naka 21 minute's reading time na ako, chorrr.
But seriously, what is love for you guys? Is it different from the love that you felt to your ex when you were just a teen? Or is it the same to the love that you felt to your new one? But some says, you can only Love once? Then why you have a love life now? If the love from your teen age come back to get you back again in his arms? Will you get back to him and leave the new one who's ready to give you a ring and promised to love you forever? Or you'll still go with your first love?
Love, can't you see I'm alone
Can't you give this fool a chance
A little love is all I ask
A little kindness in the night
What? You Only Love Once?
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June 27, 2021