Y'all see me as a jolly person who seems like doesn't know the word "problems", a person who never encountered any kind of failures, heart breaks and never heard the words "distressed" and "depressed." But to be honest, there are times that I really feel down but I don't want to show it to anyone. You knew me as a person that always had a smile for everyone but the truth is, I also feel sad, empty, lonely. You know that feeling that only a hug can comfort you? But you only have yourself because you don't have a friend. I want someone who can comfort me but I don't have that "Someone."
πΆπΆ
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
πΆ
Sometimes, I think too much that my emotions will be affected. I don't know but there is really a time that I feel lost and alone. I feel like I have no one, I don't have someone to talk to, I don't really want much of talking but I want someone who can read me and will tell that something's wrong with me. Someone who is close enough to you to feel the emotions that you are feeling right now like when you have a problem but even if you are hiding it, they can still feel it. Someone who will say "Let's talk about that problems of yours and get over with it!" Someone who will console me.
πΆπΆ
Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
πΆ
We sometime had a little battle on our mind that it will be mixed that your head can't take it all. I have no one, and only have my music. The only thing that can make my problems go away was when I play my favorite music, and turn the volume up into maximum. I feel down, lost, I'm in pain and no one can see it. I'm fighting my own battle with only my hand. I want someone to grab me from the darkness and push me to the light. And maybe hug me to assure me that everything will be alright?
πΆπΆ
No you don't know what its like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what its like to be like me
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one there to save you
No you don't know what its like
Welcome to my life
πΆ
Even my family didn't notice that I have a problem, maybe it's because of the flawless facade that my face always make. I never show it to them. I'm just on my room, lying on my bed, listening to some music in full volume. Sometimes I'm just pretending I don't heard them when they called. But the truth is, I don't want them to see my swelling eyes. Yeah, sometimes if I can't take the pain anymore, I will cry my heart out. I will release those pain that I'm feeling. Tru crying, or true listening to my favorite songs.
πΆπΆ
Do you want to be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
πΆ
There are times that I really want to be a poop, I want to be someone who's brave enough to face the challenges in life. Who's strong and will calmly solve all the problems. I want to be someone who won't think too much just because she feels alone. Someone who can do everything, without inhibitions. Someone who's not afraid to take a step out of the wall that she created. Someone who's ready to face the world without doubt and with just confidence.
πΆπΆ
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you're bleeding
πΆ
I also want to change, I am so sick with the kind of mindset I have. I want change, they say I should start it with myself but I don't know where to start. I feel like I have a heavy load of sand carrying on my back. I want this gone on my system.
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I really love Simple Plan band, especially their song "Untitled." But I love of their songs naman, it's just that, some leave impact on my life and it's very relatable in some instance. By the way, this article of min is from their song "Welcome to my Life." Just hear the song and feels it. I just get the idea of writing this when I'm sound tripping this morning.
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June 18, 2021
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Grabe naman sis. Ramdam ko dito yung seryosong ikaw habang nagsusulat. I hope you can meet and find a friend or partner na makakaintindi sayo. Maybe di ako yung friend na yun but just in case you need someone to talk about your pain and problem, andito lang naman ako, kaming virtual friends mo :)