Is It Honesty or Criticism???
Article # 31 April 26, 2022 Wednesday
I’ve crossed paths with many such people in my life who pretend to be the flag bearers of honesty and truthfulness. They will always look for your faults and then tell you:
“You need to change this habit of yours or you must stop doing this and this. You have these shortcomings try to eliminate them from with in you, so on and so forth”.
It seems like they have picked up the contract of telling people how wrong they are or how much they need to correct themselves. No matter how many faults they themselves possess, they will stay blind towards their own selves. Even if you try to make them see their faults they will get made and attack you verbally by pin pointing your mistakes or worse, they will try to impose those flaws upon you which you don’t actually have. These type of people have sick mentalities and I have encountered many such people in my life.
When they are asked that why are they so incapable of limiting their toxic thoughts to themselves, they will always reply you in a very satisfying way:
“I am just being HONEST and I am saying this for your own benefit, now it’s up to you to take my advice or leave it”
Actually this is not honesty, this is worst form of twisted criticism and these people are not our well wishers. There is a famous saying:
“ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS”
So if someone really wants to bring out good in you, he will never point out your faults in front of people, he will take you to a side and then let you know in a very soft and courteous way that you have this habit which may affect you badly in future so try to get rid of it for your own benefit.
Because we all know “TONES ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN THE WORDS”.
There are three principles of conveying your message:
The thing you say must be right
Timing must be appropriate
Your tone must be appropriate
Never doubt the intentions of such people however, those who highlight your faults publicly, never consider them your well wishers. Because they don’t do it out of sincerity but jealousy and hatred. They pretend to be the “Master of all traits”, and try to impose their arrogance on you.
There is a very common misconception that circulates in our society that:
“TRUTH IS ALWAYS BITTER”
I don’t agree with this statement. Truth is truth but it has different effects i-e sweet or bitter depending upon the tone with which it is conveyed. For instance:
If someone is doing something nasty and he doesn’t realise it, and if you tell him with an appropriate tone, he will always fall for your words, he would neither be embarrassed nor feel offended, (which is also not our intention) but rather he might end up taking your advice. But if the same person is told with a negative and harsh tone, he will surely get offended. Things might get to the point of fight.
So there is always a way to convey your message. There is no need to be harsh or arrogant and don’t try to let others down while you pretend to be someone really great. As there is a Hadith of our great Holy Prophet PBUH:
“He who is deprived of gentleness is deprived of all goodness”
So now it’s up to you, whether you want to get deprived of goodness or not?
Thank you for reading this article! Stay happy & blessed!
Image is taken from Google & edited by Snapseed.
Very much appreciate this from you Raheela. Learnt a thing or two to to put into practice