Who is hurt the more in a relationship?

“I know...and I love you. But I don't think we love each other in the same way. And...I think keeping you near me, would destroy me.”

S.C. Stephens

Kate and Joe broke up their relationship and she watched as he left. Kate had always been this hygienic lady and would always want her boyfriend to be clean every time he wants to touch her, kiss her, cuddle her etc. The day they broke up, Joe had just returned from his workplace and wanted to hug her, but she refused him saying he needs to shower first and brush his teeth.

He was mad at her. He was tired of the relationship with how Kate kept clinging to this hygienic stuff. He went away and since that day, she was always hurting and would drink alcohol to a stupor until she sleeps off and the next day, her head would be banging so hard. She kept doing this to herself.

After many months, she went out to eat after being indoors for long. At the restaurant, she saw Joe walked in with a lady. He had moved on while Kate was still thinking about him and hurting herself. As she tried to stand up to leave, her legs wobbled and she fell. It was obvious in Joe's eyes that she is still thinking, whereas he had moved on completely with his life.

That was how I got the title of my post this morning. I asked Olasquare to get his point and here is what he said

There is no way to determine it. It depends on the person who did more... it's not gender specific.

That is the truth because it is something I have to share in my opinion also.

There is no gender specific when it comes to being hurt the most in a relationship. Both genders get hurt depending on who served the other breakfast just as a slang used for who did the breakup.

This is just like a guy who bought something for a lady and thought she would love it, but when he presented it, the lady refused and declined it. The lady won't feel the pain more than the guy who bought it.

Same thing in a relationship. If a guy broke a lady's heart first, especially without any reason or perhaps had one excuse to give her, the lady was caught unexpectedly and that could make her hurt more as the guy moves on with his life because there is an extra somewhere but no one for the lady.

Kate never expected Joe to leave her because of what transpired between them and she was shocked when he said it was over. Where should she start even though it may take months for her to get herself back?

The same thing goes with a lady who has a new partner and leaves her present relationship for her reasons, the guy if he truly loves her would get hurt because he wasn't waiting for such a thing to happen.

In another way, both parties get hurt especially when it comes to them not coming together to find ways to solve the lapses in their relationship. There would be cases where they have tried to make things work together but nothing is happening and they just had to come to a compromise. Even though it would be a win-win situation for them, they still feel the hurt while they try to find things to heal the wound.

It's more painful when both parties come to know that they aren't compatible in the aspect of health issues. Perhaps their genotypes are the issue here and they have both gone a long way in loving each other and doing many things together.

Being hurt when there is separation or divorce takes time to get healed and if care isn't taken, they can commit suicide because of the love they have both shared.

While some would get over it within a month or less, others would take years for them to make the wound heal except they leave such an area where they know both of them could always see each other by chance. Seeing each other again after a breakup brings those memories again and opens a healed wound.

So, in my own opinion, no gender is left out when it comes to who gets hurt the most in a relationship. It depends on who did it first.

Thanks for reading

Image by Cottonbro on Pexels

[July 25, 2022] (No 206 articles for the year)