The art of being okay with things as they are.
"There is no good in arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat".
Before we proceed, can you just say this short prayer silently?
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage and boldness to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Give us the courage to change the things that must be reformed, peace to accept what cannot be helped, and the openness to know the one from the other. Amen”
I am glad you did that and that is the perfect word of prayer we ought to always pray always.
One thing about our character is that we can choose to change or improve and we can decide not to, but improving what we don´t like about our lives is very important to us, especially when we are always interacting with other people every single day. But at the same time, it is also important to recognize those things we cannot change. This will definitely help us focus on the right thing rather than spending and wasting our time on things that will never change no matter how much we tried to.
If things cannot be changed, learn to accept them like that.
Acceptance is often a process rather than just a single step, but accepting involves making the choice to accept something. When we learn to accept things as they are, we would save ourselves from worries and anxiety over things we cannot change but let go of. Also, we have the choice to exit once we know we can´t change something or an individual so as to save us the stress in the long run.
For example, you are trying to change your partner but with all methods, you have taken or used, he or she decides not to change. You may choose to stay and endure or you might just leave the relationship if you know it is affecting you emotionally, I mean in all areas. We cannot change a being but our efforts and encouragement might do wonders, when you see your efforts aren´t yielding any positive results over the individual, you just have to accept them or leave. When we are doing this, we won´t be worrying about what we are doing that is wrong or why our partner won´t change their ways.
There is no point in cursing, punishing and blaming ourselves for things which we cannot change.
Many times, we feel guilty, sad and depressed, most times feel shame because we can´t change something. All these emotions are associated with not being able to change ourselves or other people and we feel like we aren´t doing the right thing. Another factor that could make us feel worthless most times is society. They make us feel like we aren´t trying and would force us to feel responsible for whatsoever is happening, either in our lives or in our relationships. If your partner is misbehaving, they make you believe you are the reason or cause, they would want you to take responsibility for it. So when we allow ourselves to accept that things like that are beyond our control, we can stop punishing and blaming ourselves for them. So, we are free to stop being guilty and concerned over things that are way beyond our control and let go of the negative emotions taking charge of us.
Finding a lesson that can be applied later is the best thing we can do.
We can choose to be calm in situations that cannot be changed so we would be able to focus on the next thing to do. Calming down in such a situation will help us find the suitable lessons that would suit our problems and would help us apply them in a clear way that would surely bring a positive result.
Just because we accept some things that are inevitable, things which are bound to happen doesn´t mean they cannot teach us anything. Those lessons we later find out may be our guidelines for how to act in the future and help us in other situations. The best is to consider what lesson such a situation has taught you and how you might benefit from the lesson in the future.
Don´t expect too much.
Stop expecting things from people. When you expect too much, it might end in disappointment for you. When we keep finding ourselves in every frustrating situation, it might be the time to reevaluate how much we have expected from others. When expectations are too high, they might bring a lot of frustration and concern. So, when we take away those expectations, our lives would be easier.
Snap out from unrealistic expectations. When you expect that others will know what you want or need, and act accordingly, we are heading to failure if we must know. So, let go of unrealistic expectations and focus on how to be better yourself. By doing this, we will be freeing ourselves from the source of frustration and take things as they come and people as they are.
Be relentless with the things you can change.
Not being able to change the world, or people around you and even some aspects of your life doesn´t mean you should give up, instead focus your efforts on things that can be changed. Improve yourself and your life, and find new solutions to the problems that are within your reach. With this, you will feel empowered and courageous and be in control over your life.
There are things we cannot change, it´s very okay. However, recognizing those things we can change and focusing our efforts and energy on them will surely give us control over our lives and stop us from getting worried or concerned about things that will never budge no matter how much we try. So, stop freaking out on things that can never change because they are inevitable. They are bound to stay that way and you are to learn to focus and divert your attention to what is in your capacity to change.
Thanks for reading
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[June 09, 2022] (No 160 articles for the year)
Nicely written, you've touched upon some excellent points. The way I see it, by letting go you liberate your energy to be used on more constructive endeavours. Don't let these negative hurdles hinder your forward trajectory.