Safe Sex? How Protected Are You?
Is it really about safe sex or simply not doing the act at all? For crying out loud at 14-15? Are you kidding me? This topic is given the reality in the secondary school where I am currently teaching. My heart goes to my students who told me they could have just waited yet it's too late!
Well even If I got married at 32 and have lived to my principles of only engaging in sexual intercourse with my husband, I am fully aware especially here in Seychelles that chastity entails self-discipline and this may sound so old school but based on the research I did on the Moral Theological Perspective of sexual union, this has to be in the context of marriage! If not in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP!
Let me tell you why!
Thomas Aquinas, in his Summa Theologia on Marriage and Sex, stated that what makes premarital sex wrong because it can bring the possible child into a situation where it does not have both parents to look after it.! This is in reference to an "unplanned and early pregnancy" like what is happening to mostly Secondary schools globally. Seeing this reality to where I am currently living whereby I am exposed to the reality of my secondary students, I can't help but felt so sad for them.
There's so much in life than a mere sexual activity out of lust and curiosity!
And so I thought my Students are so Innocent (Though not Generalizing)
I had my last period with my S5 set3 class. They were still considered band A, meaning academic class so all the while I thought that "an academic" student would be more adept at focusing on his/her studies. To think that their "priorities" must be on how to prepare for their Advanced Level Studies, guess I am the one who innocently thought about them.
There were around 29 of them. 15 girls and the rest were boys.
I was explaining my lesson and they were pretty much-paying attention to the topic, after which I went around to check their work individually. What caught my attention was one of my girls on her table busy fixing her things.
Shocked was an understatement! Of all her things, 'that condom stuff surprised me to the hilt! What the heck!
*Have I mentioned that the only time I practically learned how condoms worked was only when I got married? Sure thing, I read about it but "practicum" was another story for me. I am pretty much old fashioned still added to the fact that my father was so strict and would always remember how he advised me to wait for the right time and to do it with the right person alone!
I felt that "condoms" must be discreetly kept and not be shown in public. Imagine working in the Middle East when my hubby told me that he has to ask discreetly, he wanted to buy a condom! At that time, Doha was still so austere though just recently upon a conversation with a friend in Abu Dhabi, they're a bit more relaxed as an unmarried couple can now live together.
I went over, confused and asked her!
Knowing that my students' stage is the "exploration" period of their Secondary Life, my gut told me to ask her,
"What is this?" I mean why do you have this?"
and she replied with a bit of confusion, even asked me with that condescending tone!
"Ms. you don't know what it is?"
I could not compose a rational thought to respond but got the courage to do so!
"Hey, I know what is this, but my point is that, why do you have this in your bag? Why are you bringing this?" I felt like reprimanding my daughter!
She shrugged and simply told me,
"It's for protection Ms."
Is it really about "PROTECTING ONESELF? How Safe it Is by the way?
The consequence of having a baby before matrimony, especially for the couple who are not "ready or unplanned pregnancy" for whatever responsibilities it incurs, would sort into the worst scenario of abortion. According to an article here "half of the unplanned pregnancies among unmarried women (age 20-29) result in an abortion— nearly 600,000 abortions each year."
*Considering the age bracket of my students, how can I not be alarmed when they're so young and how on earth a 14-15-year-old student/teenager can support a child? Given normal circumstances, at 15, how would you convince me you are mature and financially secured?
**I told her to come with me to the staff room and we would have a heart to heart talk after class. Whoah to my surprise, she knew what she's gotten into and I'd better keep my mouth shut.
What's the Rationale?
Protection may be good but there's so much research and studies that have been found helpful, relevant to date on "waiting for the right time" to engage oneself in "premarital sex."
Likewise, to speak about "the protection" from my point of view it is not just really about "protecting yourself, but it's all about NOT DOING it all---- not until you are MATURE enough to support yourself whereby you can withstand the consequences.
There's more to life than sex!
**
This post is in connection to my ongoing study about the reality of our students here at Pointe Larue and it really crushed my heart every time I get to know our Secondary students got pregnant. Whenever I told them that "sex" is a gift to your spouse in the context of marriage, there's so much confusion in their minds and *PROPER GUIDANCE* is the least I can do for them! As a mother, this is my social responsibility apart from my own family.
Made a short video about An Online Dating Convo: Crushing Moment with You! whereby "relationships" can blossom into a good partnership however *proper guidance* is a must. Mature and Committed One would last for a lifetime
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The rate at which the world is changing to something completely different is quite alarming. At the age of 14-15, I didn't even know what a condm looks like, I knew what it looked like at age 18 and it was because I saw it on the floor, my course mates were the ones who told me what it was. The media, poor parenting pattern, friends, and so much more are some of the platforms influencing these youngsters, there was a video I watched last year, a boy and girl were caught having sx and I'm pretty sure that they were both between the ages of six to seven years old.