When Life Gets Hard

There are times in our life na no matter how optimistic you are, susubukin talaga kung hanggang saan positivity mo. Kung hanggang saan aabot ang ngiti mo.

It was more than a month when I was confined. More than a month na din kaming nagbabayad ng utang. Utang na pinambayad namin sa hospital bills para makalabas ako. Gastos dito, gastos doon. That is the typical life of a sick person. And I feel so sorry sa asawa ko who carries all the burden, solely.

And then another tragedy happened when our stepfather suffered from stroke. Of course, we should help for our mother's sake. Hirap na hirap ngayon ang Mama ko for the reason na we are not around to help her, assist her. Yesterday morning when I called her, eh grabe ang iyak nya dahil wala daw sya makasama doon na magbantay sa asawa nya. Malayo kasi sa highway ang farm, kaya siguro feeling nya eh pinabayaan namin sya. But what can we do? We told her naman na kumuha ng kamag-anak ng asawa nya para mag-alaga at kahit kami na ang magbigay ng pamasahe para lang may makasama sya pero ayaw naman nya. I also told her na bitawan na ang farm at kunin na ang separation pay nila sa boss nila at umuwe sila ng Leyte kasi andoon ang family ng asawa nya. Pero mukhang ayaw din nyang bitawan pa ang farm kaya super stressed na din tuloy ako.

I was crying in frustration ng kinakausap ko sya kahapon para lang ipaintindi sa kanya ang sitwasyon pero ang tigas talaga ng ulo.

As of now, my sisters and I were thinking of the best way para mapapayag namin ang mama namin. And I will let them do the task of telling/talking to her. Kasi if ako eh baka mauwe lang sa away namin mag-ina.

Every penny that I earned here and in noise eh pinapadala ko sa mama ko para sa gamutan ng asawa nya. Same goes with my sisters, pinapadalhan din nila. They were telling me na wag na magbigay and unahin na lang ang gamutan ko pero siempre parang ang bigat sa dibdib na di ako makapagbigay. Kasi they also helped me when I got infected with Covid.

Kaya naman for my CT Scan eh lumalapit ako sa mga LGU's dito. But unfortunately, wala pang naging successful. Four days na akong lakad dito lakad doon pero iisa lang sinasabi nila, "NO BUDGET".

This morning lang, I went to the Regional Office ng DSWD. Super aga ko and I was so optimistic na may magiging magandang resulta ang pagpunta ko doon. I was number 10 on the list. When the first person was called and interviewed, doon namin nalaman ang sad truth. When she went out, sinabi nya doon sa kasama nya na wala pa daw budget at balik na lang next month. The next person went out and another and another, same ang sinasabi. Parang gusto ko ng umuwe pero I still wait for my turn para malaman if ano ang reason. So when my name was called, ayun nga, the staff told me to go back next month kasi naubos na daw ang budget nila for those who seek financial assistance.

I feel so disappointed because I expected a lot. Akala ko talaga eh may makuha agad ako kasi yun ang sinasabi ng halos pinagtanungan ko. I went home na pagod at luhaan. But like I said, at least I tried.

But I am still hoping na next week, sa Kapitol naman ako lalapit, eh may magandang resulta na akong makuha.

LABARRRRRRNNNNN!

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Date Published: June 30, 2022

Lead image taken from Unsplash