Rain OF Memories
I woke up this morning to the sound of pouring rain on our roof, with a slight thunder. I felt so cold, so I tucked myself under my blanket and tried going back to sleep. I think an hour later, I have awakened again. This time, it was my body clock that was telling me to get out of bed. So, with a heavy heart, I got out of bed and slowly walked like a zombie, dragging my feet. I went straight to the bathroom to do my thing. I was still half asleep and stayed there for like half an hour, lol!
And then the meowing sound my cats made pulled me back to reality. I cleaned myself up, and when I opened the door, my cats were waiting for me, asking for food. They did not stop following me until I gave them food. Because of them, I feel like I have a dozen kids. When I checked the time, it was already 6:30 in the morning, which gave me time to prepare our breakfast. Usually, it is my husband who makes breakfast, but I know that he was tired from his work yesterday, so I let him sleep a little longer. But as I was about to start cooking, he was up and taking our dogs out for a walk. That was his daily routine: a morning walk with his dogs.
As they head out, I continue what I started. This morning I prepared a heavy breakfast: garlic rice, sunny-side-up eggs, and hotdogs. Usually, we prefer bread and coffee for breakfast but since there was some leftover rice last night, I decided to cook it before it get spoiled. So right after I was done, my husband and the dogs were home, so I told him to wash his hands because we would have our breakfast.
The rain started pouring again. My husband cleaned the table after we ate, and I told him that I had to play Pegaxy, so he told me to go outside because he was going to clean our house. While I was playing, I suddenly felt sad, down, or whatever feeling that I felt this morning, and the rain had something to do with it. I don't know why I feel so down when it rains. Do you feel that way too? It was as if the rain became a time machine that brought me back to a past that I didn't want to be in. From my happy childhood memories to the not-so-good memories, makes me feel nostalgic.
The first thing that I remember when it rains is the death of my grandmother. It was the rainy season when she died, and I remember cleaning the first floor of our house because it got flooded due to heavy rains at that time. I was cleaning it the night before she died, and it got me thinking that maybe I was fated to clean that night to prepare for her burial the next day. So I was like, if only I had not cleaned that night, maybe she would not have died. And I blamed myself for that. Then my Tita, the most supladita, added fuel to the fire by saying that it was my fault that my Lola died because I was hardheaded and would not listen to her. So I was thinking, maybe it was my fault.
Until now, I was still blaming myself, although not in the same way as before, the guilt is still there. But I know that my Lola, who is now in the hand of our creator, feels no pain and only happiness. I know that she knows that I love her.
Date Published: April 7, 2022
O my God!seems like you are my sister from another mother. I feel like the way our imagination and mental state coincides can’t be out of nothing. You must visit my article THE GOOD OLD DAYS.. you will see then what I am talking about. The way you stated your nostalgic condition and while I was reading that, I felt like It was written either by me or about me! I am sure sister you will feel the same way after reading my article I mentioned above.