Someone once said that we shouldn't go for looks because it fades. That's the truth because most people get drawn to the beauty and forget all about the character. I guess it all depends on what we are looking for. Some can overlook toxic behaviour as long as the person is beautiful or handsome but know your limit and not accept what you know you won't be able to deal with in the long run.
I have my opinion just like everyone else and this is not to cast those who focus on beauty but to share my view and sound a voice of reason so we can at least weigh our options before deciding what to do. Most people make mistakes because they don't know and they don't have enough options to work with but I believe we are responsible for our actions and the consequences of it after weighing every option.
Some fall in love with the looks while some might fancy someone because of their sense of humour. Sadly, I've also picked someone because of being light-skinned but it ended in disaster because I am a sensitive person and as much as I consider others, there are some things I won't take. When I date you, I date you with the future in mind so what I can't accept I won't let it get exported into the future. Either we find a way around it now so we can both be better for it or we go out separate ways and stay as friends, if possible.
I've extended hands of friendship to so many after we've gone our separate ways but some accepted while some rejected. Those who rejected, many years down the line, we still found a way to stay casual. I am not big on making 'enemies'. I love being cool with people because it's a small world after all but that doesn't mean I would surround myself with toxic people.
Back on track, so, I've seen someone pick a lady because of the way she smiles, some ladies are big on a guy dressing so well; fashion sense, others how they talk, level of intelligence, for some, wealth, independence and of course how they feel around that person. There are tons of reasons for picking a partner but try not to make beauty to be the major reason. Let it be an addition but never the major thing. Have you heard of the joke that beautiful women and handsome guys are the ones that give the most headache because they are always 'feeling' themselves hahaha.
It's not always wise to fall in love with someone other than their looks. It's shameful because it shows there is nothing more to the person than their looks. Does that mean that's the only thing the person can bring to the table? Either you are not taking time to look at the other qualities or that's the only thing the person is showing you that he or she can offer. There must be something that would constantly remind you that the person is worth fighting for other than the looks.
What happens when the beauty fades or something happens? There is always more to a person than their looks the problem is we choose to see what we have set our heart to seek. Life is humorous in a way that when you planned on buying a particular car or you have a preference for a particular car, do you know you get to see that car more often as though that's the only car that plies the road? What we set our heart to seek that's what we find. Try to seek something more than the looks. Stop insulting people by saying indirectly that the only thing they can offer is beauty.
As hurtful as this may sound but if you feel nothing deeper other than the looks for your partner, with familiarity, the value you attach to that look will diminish over time. At social functions, yes, you might appreciate the beauty and it gives you that pride but when it's both of you with life's pressure and demands, you have had it in excess and you begin to shift focus away from it. Haven't you seen men with beautiful wives cheat on their wives with a lady that is not even a match, in terms of beauty, to their wives? This is why we need to focus on something deeper than just beauty.
Being attractive should not be the only reason why you choose a partner. You must consider other aspects of things. We all need someone who can be supportive to help out. If you are so big on curves or shapes, then it's obvious when your wife is pregnant you might run away because you will see things you never bargained for. Surely, her face will puff, her ankle swollen (depends), from figure 8 some might go round - a lot can happen with pregnancy depending on her body and how would you know how she would turn out ahead? She needs you to also see beyond her beauty and relate with her as someone with substance.
We all have expectations in a relationship and that's fine but we need to be honest with ourselves and work on what's truly important to us. A man might be handsome but that doesn't mean he would be responsible. A lady might be beautiful and that doesn't mean she will make a great mother. We can save a lot of relationship troubles if we can set our priorities right. Some things are not so important while some are important. Beauty is good, no doubt but it shouldn't be the ONLY criteria and as we know, beauty is relative.
He should be more than his looks and if that's the only thing he brings, please that's the reason you should let him be or remind him of the other aspect to him that he is not exploring. She is also more than 'a beautiful lady'. There is more to her and you can help her fan it into flames
Thank you for your time.
I'm one who always lookout for the best in people. I always give people chances to show me a better version of themselves. But when I realize someone is too toxic and always bring negative vibes and transmit bad energy, I distance myself from them. I don't keep enemies, but I stay away from toxic people.