The COMedy Rumble: How Do I Forgive This?

Have you ever heard the phrase "To err is human to forgive is divine?" Ah... This does not apply to the experience I am about to share with you. It's more like "To err is human, to blame another person for your mistake is even more human" but I will go with this: "To err is human, to forgive is divine, but when the eraser is wearing out before the pencil, just know you are overdoing it a little."

I think I have hinted this here before but I had to make a more comprehensive post for Hive Open Mic so this is me sharing it here as well. It's all comedy and I hope you enjoy it.

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I've never been this stressed in my life and I have myself to blame in a way for it. I should have judged the book by the cover. I don't know why I chose to live by these some of these phrases on such a day as that. Ah... I suffered. I couldn't even cry. You know when you are hungry and angry but you just had no choice but to turn it into humour because you know there is absolutely nothing you could have done about the situation, so saving your anger is the best solution so as not to add more to your hunger.

My childhood friend got married two months ago and I travelled down to where I lived for most of my life, a city called Ibadan in Oyo State, Nigeria. He asked me to be one of the groomsmen. Either I am the best man or groomsmen. I am happy a lot of people find my face attractive to be their best man or one of the groomsmen 😂😂🤣 but that thing can be tiring. I have lost count on the number of suits I have bought all in the name of being a best man or a groomsman. I couldn't say no and I had the money to get it then, so I suffered low key...in silence 🤣🤣😂but still enjoyed it. The suits I have now if I am to start a boutique for suits, my shop should be full for my 10 - 15 years of active service in bestmanship and groomsman duty.

Back to the pressing matter of the day... I travelled down and it was a smooth ride. I was alone in the car as I drove down. Everything was going smoothly and even the engagement went so well and it was time to go and find a hotel to sleep in. I tried to book a room before I got there but most of the ones I know were fully booked and most of the ones I saw too were overpriced. I felt when I drive around, I should be able to see other hotels since the area the groom lodged is a busy area.

I left his hotel around past 12 with some other friends who said they would love to share the room with me. We are all guys, so I wasn't bothered at all. We searched for over an hour, most of the hotels were booked and the others were just too expensive for 5 hours of sleep. Ah. We managed to find one around the corner, a bit of a distance from the groom's hotel but I didn't mind since I am driving, I can always get to him easily whenever he needs me.

We got the room and we were so happy to at least have a place to rest our heads. It was after we paid I got to know that their AC was just there for picture-snapping, it wasn't working. Ah. The ceiling fan was blowing epileptic too. We felt we should go to their eatery/bar to take fresh air and we know we would only go to the room to sleep off, so the AC situation won't matter. We got to their lounge and I saw Yoghurts. It's what I love to take since alcohol used to embarrass me. The two other guys wanted alcohol and I asked them to order while I take my Yoghurt. That was when we got the rude shock of our lives.

They said they don't have cold drinks. I asked them if it was just for tonight because their generator set was on and I wanted to believe maybe they have light issues and the generator was just starting to cool off their drinks but the guy said they don't sell cold drinks because their freezer and fridge doesn't work. I looked at the area again to be sure we came to a hotel or was it a motel for people that want to do short hours? Even at that, won't those guys who want to rumble in the bed for a few hours even need a cold drink to re-energize after their epic battles?

I was still in disbelief staring at the guy while he was laughing half-heartedly out of shame too. Your AC doesn't work and you don't sell cold drinks. Have you informed the management about this? That was my question and he said it authoritatively that they knew and he is even tired of taking the fall for it since he's the one customers would see and not the management. That was how I took my Yoghurt like that, warm...due to hunger.

The third guy couldn't take it and he requested what they have in the kitchen. We were treated to further shocks when we were told they only serve noodles 😂😂🤣😂😂. I didn't know when my anger turned into laughter and I burst out laughing. Due to the hunger, the guy didn't say anything again and the lady left. I just asked him if he told the lady not to bother with the noodles because I believe she must have assumed he wanted it. He was angry and said: "When she's not sick in the head. Did I give her consent?"

We were not done when someone came from the kitchen and told us that the noodles is set and we all looked at each other. She wasn't done though, she further said the lady noticed there were no eggs again in the kitchen and rather than make eggs with 2 noodles, she decided to make 4 noodles to make up for the lack of eggs so the price is still the same. I laughed so loud and I watched as the two other guys were fuming and raising their voices. I just sat on my seat sipping my warm Yoghurt while paying Mama Cat on the smartBCH network on Metamask.

After a few minutes, we left for the room and we slept only to be woken up by the groom around 6:30 to come and check out our suits. I can't forgive that hotel...ah... They suffered us and I don't even want to get to the part of the mosquitoes 😂😂🤣😂. They should have asked us to pay a 70% discount, maybe we wouldn't have complained. Someone said we should have asked for refund 😂🤣😂😂🤣.

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why  I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

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