Shaped By Experience.

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2 years ago

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We live in a funny world and we are all shaped by our experiences in this life. The experience you have might be different from what another person has so before you start thinking the world revolves around you, you should listen and learn from others too.

You can see someone looking all good but you have no idea what is going on in their head. A lot of people sometimes lash out based on what they are going through. They lash out so much that you can't place their actions in line with what has been done. A lot of internal battles were going on prior which we know nothing about.

Twitter is a whole new world on its own and you can't be short of what to see. I checked Twitter many years ago about one Miss. Taiwo and I got curious to read her thread with the comments too.

A guy came for an interview in her company and she was the HR in that company. After the interview, the guy she interviewed told her that she smelled nice and this HR lady took it personally. She said the guy has no manners and he was rude. I can understand her outburst if she says "That’s unprofessional" but with that kind of outburst, it's not surprising that she must have had experiences with guys that either look like this guy or that once used that line on her.

I have heard how some HRs in a reputable company would even be the ones to compliment the person being interviewed, so I don’t see the issue with what the guy said. I don't know if she felt it was flirtatious or maybe he was trying to charm his way into getting the job but I think the right words would have been, "That's totally unnecessary. That's not professional. For future references, please don't say that in an interview." And I don't mind if she decides to dock him some points.

Often those being interviewed would also compliment the look of the HR and there seem to be no issue with it, but I guess it is easy to judge her right now since we don’t know what her values are or what was going on in her head. The guy that also used that line, I would love to know why he said what he said and maybe someone gave him the heads up about using that line in interviews.

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Whether we like it or not, this is a reflection of what she has gone through. Who knows maybe she once dated someone that gave her such compliments or at work. She might have something against men and I can trace it to bad experiences with some of them because the way she used her words showed a lot in her tweet. She said and I quote: "I don’t know why men are so rude and without manners". She has categorized all men as that which speaks a lot about what she is going through in the hands of men...and explained why she would pounce on anything to discredit the men. She got a lot of backlash from her tweet.

It was obvious that the guy won't get that job because of her distaste for men and this is where I would say she is being unprofessional too. If she felt what the guy did was wrong, it would be fair for her to say "I appreciate the kind words but this is an interview and going forward, it would be deemed unprofessional to say this in an interview. Thank you and have a nice day". That guy would even feel more foolish than the outburst. He was supposed to learn in that interview session about his good and bad... it shouldn't be about nailing him to the coffin. There are better ways she could have handled that but she allowed her emotions to show.

Whether we like to show it or not, we often say a lot from our actions rather than from our words. If anyone asked her how she was coping with her last heartbreak, she would feign she has moved on rather than admit the hurt. Admitting your pain is the first step to healing. Most people would rather suppress their hurt than admit it.

I think the guy just wanted to show confidence which was why he said what he said...and I could be wrong. In other places, they would have credited the guy for being confident but then it was obvious this HR has some internal battles going on which made her act the way she did. Twitter melted her with banter and she also tweeted, "This is why people don’t report rape in Nigeria". What she tweeted above does not correlate with what people were dragging her with but she felt the need to say that to justify herself.

Admitting hurts and dealing with them is the best way to move on as fast as you can. Having a stereotype about men due to what you have been repeatedly experiencing doesn’t help either. When people lash out it has a lot to do about that person and not necessarily about you, sometimes.

Someone said the guy should have said: "I love your cologne" instead because 'smell' is offensive but then we all know we use the word "smell nice" in a positive way in Nigeria. If the guy had said cologne, it would have been the same issue due to the state of her mind.

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

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2 years ago

Comments

Someone said the guy should have said: "I love your cologne" instead because 'smell' is offensive but then we all know we use the word "smell nice" in a positive way in Nigeria.

I agree. Saying it this way sounds less offensive. We could say I like the smell of your perfume/cologne and would like to know what brand is it?

Anyway, as long as you compliment someone honestly and they take that against you, it's not your fault but it's how the receiver reacts to it.

I could understand the HR at some level because as you said we don't know where she is coming from. We don't know her story.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

I love your objectivity to this and dealing with both angles. Yes, we don't know her story... It came to her on a bad day obviously.

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2 years ago

Compliment is alaways a compliment and I take them all with gratitude 🥰

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Absolutely... I wasn't expecting her to read too much meaning to it. I admire you because you take compliments...you are always a darling.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I struggled with it when I was a teenager, but that’s long time ago 😅😅😅

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2 years ago

Hahahaha you are smarter and keep learning...it's one of the most important traits to have. My beautiful darling Mo.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

My beautiful darling Ola! How are you finding life in uk?

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2 years ago

My love, the cold is much... I've been told it's not even cold yet. hahahahaha. Had to do some shopping yesterday for the times ahead 😂😂🤣🤣... How are you doing?

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2 years ago

It’s getting chilli already, especially in the mornings and evenings, but they’re right, not even that cold yet, so get some warm clothes going babe! I also did shopping yesterday - it was a nightmare! So many people shopping for bank holiday and the prices of everything went up so much, it’s really crazy these days 🙈

$ 0.02
2 years ago

The prices really went up and I can't believe how much I spent yesterday hahaha. Now I need more BCH in my coffers to be able to up what I've spent 😂😂🤣🤣.

I believe everything will be fine... How is your weekend going, my love?

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2 years ago

Have you started looking for a job yet?

My weekend is good. Still drinking my morning coffee and salsa later 😁

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yes, I got a job already and starting on Tuesday. I'm doing three days a week. I still need another.

Glad your weekend is good, Mo... Happy Sunday.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Is this care job we talked about? I just got up an hour ago. Last night dancing was amazing 🤩

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2 years ago

No... It's a production job this time around and would work on the care job soon.

Who did you dance with? I'm jealous already.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Ahh cool. Production jobs are not bad.

Usual suspects! Nothing to be jealous about 😉 It was just overall a great night with many friends, especially my bestie who moved away from me up North. Was great to see them 🥰

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2 years ago

I can't wait to see how the job is.

Aww... that's a wonderful moment with them then. Cool.

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2 years ago

What the guy have has said was too offensive haha but the HR should addressed it professionally..🤔

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Hahaha offensive? You mean as harassment? Yes, she should have addressed it professionally.

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2 years ago

May be she went through terrible experiences with men and that would have been the reason for her unreasonable judgement with the interviewed man. Some women if they had a bad experience with onre man, would always consider everymen to be the same. Difficult to make them understand.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It's difficult to make them understand. Some women generalize a lot and it's not really healthy.

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2 years ago

Sometimes, our manner of approach says a lot about what we are going through but that shouldn't make you lash out on someone who knows nothing about it but in his or her way, trying to act nice or good.

We all have different experiences but it would be good to let it off and focus on the better side, and if someone just like Miss Taiwo encounter a person just like what the interviewee did, the best is to approach in a polite manner and not the other way round.

If you don't tell me what you have experienced, how do I know?

$ 0.03
2 years ago

She really lashed out and it shouldn't have been so. She could have mentioned her distaste without making a big deal out of the situation.

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2 years ago

The truth is most of us have gone through hard and funny experiences but the only reason we are how we are and do what we do it because our experience have helped shaped us either good or bad

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That is it and it explains her response. Absolutely...we are a product of our experiences...either good or bad.

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2 years ago

We really need to be careful on every words we will say even if it's just base on our opinion because we don't know how people will take it. By the way how's the UK mr Ola?

$ 0.02
2 years ago

We surely need to be careful and deal with things rather than lash out. Thank you so much, UK is fine... Almost got lost today 🤣🤣😂

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2 years ago

Well to be honest the comment did come across as a bit of harassment. It is not really something to be mentioned in an interview but I have heard worst. Anyhow her reaction was a but over the top too 😂

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I agree with you. I don't think it's a good statement to make in an interview either but her outburst made his action look justifiable because she blew it over the top.

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2 years ago

Yes that is true. For an HR lead she should really be more composed.

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2 years ago

Exactly...that's her job. Her emotions got the most of her.

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2 years ago

Off topic How are you now uncle? Have you landed safely in the UK?

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2 years ago

Jannneeeyyyyyyy... Yes, we have. It was really stressful but worth it. Went out today and got my first job in the UK yaaaaaay.

How are you too, my dear?

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2 years ago

Wow..that was fast..are living with a relative? Coz it's hard to find a better place to stay there...

$ 0.01
2 years ago

We are using Airbnb for now and working on an accomodation. We are 75% done with the accomodation. Paid the instalment today.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Well, I think the HR took it differently. I, myself, like to compliment people and most of the time. I'll them that they look amazing or they have a good fragrance. Hmm. That's totally unfair for the guy though. Perhaps, the HR doesn't like to be complemented at all.

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2 years ago

I feel she doesn't have to be complimented too and maybe she's lashing out based on bad experiences with guys.

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2 years ago

The word we choose while giving our opinion and compliments shouldn't be embarrassing for us and others. What he did was really in professional

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2 years ago

I heard some HR even take such compliments...I guess she doesn't like it and she should have explained in a better way to the guy.

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2 years ago