It's Okay.

Image Source.

We live in a world where most people are moved by the approval of others. They seek validation from others and would do just about anything to have it. It starts from trying to do too much because you want someone to like you but that's not okay. It's okay for people not to like you. You are not a party Jollof rice so don't expect to make everyone happy and even a party Jollof rice still won't make some people happy.

We have been raised to do whatever it takes to please our parents. A lot of people have left their dreams in other to please their parents and wouldn't dream of doing what they like because they are also scared they won't have their parents to fall back on in case the path they have chosen gets tougher or things didn't go as plan. This act of wanting to please our parents isn't just about that, we have been trained on that and it reflects on every aspect of our lives as we grow.

I knew how I wouldn't even dare go out of my way to pursue my football dream despite my grumbles back then as I was filling my University application form for Economics with tears soaked face with the help of our tenants back then when I ran to him that University wasn't what I wanted. A lot of people fell into this trap and many other factors were responsible for this but I wouldn't want to go deeper into that right now because I don't want to drift off.

So, we were trained to always want to please them, be at their mercy and not have the ability to think on our own and we grew with that which makes us seek the approval of others before we can do anything meaningful. We are a product of how we were nurtured but with time we can break out from that mental hold.

I have a very good friend that would come to me for advice and I would share my 2 cents but won't be satisfied until another set of people are asked and still, they would always give the same advice. We don't have to live our lives trying to impress anyone. It's okay to ask for help, it's okay to make mistakes but your decisions should be solely about what you feel, what you think, the sense you have made out of the things you have gathered from everyone.

Most people will listen to advise from several people and would go with the advice of the person they didn't want to offend at all. You would see the unhappiness on their faces and still, they would rather be unhappy than incur the wrath of someone they hold in high esteem.

There was a movie I watched on Netflix about a guy who loves making candles but wouldn't dare tell his father that's what he wanted to do. He even staged a fake girlfriend just to keep his parents happy. When all hell broke loose and the secret got blown out, he knew he had already disappointed his parents and decided to use that as an opportunity to at least stake a claim for himself. His father saw the candles with amazing scents and asked if he made them. He said he did and it was just a hobby but summoned the courage to say he wants to stop working in his father's shop to pursue this candle business. He was expecting the father to lash out but the father screamed "Thank God" and they joked about it.

Image Source.

Sometimes we are afraid to reach out and launch out because we assume the response we would get from those we hold in high esteem based on how we have known them to be. We don't need to keep going for the approvals of others rather we should seek to find our happiness.

As humans, we crave attention and love but some things would be beyond our control. We need the courage to accept the things we can't change and even people that are not meant to be in our lives. When some people don't receive attention or love from the circle they expect they crumble...they beat themselves up about it but there are tons of others who would accept you and love you but still, we stay fixated on the approval of some others.

Some would like you for various reasons you might not even know. Some deeper and some, not that deep. Whatever reason it is, it is about them and not about you. Some can like you based on mutual grounds and some because of the value systems you have while others because of the quality you have at your disposal but the moment you ditch all these to start running after the approval of those who don't really matter then you have lost the plot and the genuineness of those who truly care about you.

It's okay if some people don't like you and they don't have to. It doesn't make them a bad person nor you a terrible person it only makes you both humans and that's okay as well. What's the point of liking you if you would always be at loggerheads with each other because you wouldn't bend to each other's value system? We need to learn to accept and let go of things we cannot change and that's okay too.

Image Source.

It's okay to try and find a common ground with someone but if things won't still work out after trying so much, then let go with no hatred in your heart because it shows some things are not meant to be. You cannot please everyone. Stop trying to impress people and just be yourself. No matter how hard you try to impress others, those who won't like you won't still like you. In fact, they will still accuse you of trying to impress them.

Someone once joked but it's the truth anyway and he says "Your enemy would see you walk on water and would still say it's because you cannot swim." Walking on water is a miracle on its own but they won't even see the miracle but would focus on something else to stir the hearts of people away from you. If you keep trying to gain the approval of others then you are at their mercy as you would keep getting dragged at every corner and you would hate yourself for it as you won't have a say even over your own life.

They don't like you? Did they stop talking to you? Did they spread rumours about you? They judge you even before they get to know you? Did they assume the worst about you? That's okay. Keep moving because you were not created with a burning desire to wake up daily to impress someone. It's okay.

Thank you for your time.

Kindly follow me on Noise.Cash... I am trying to engage more with people and connect with everyone with this account. I look forward to seeing you there... You can say hello to me there so we can get familiarized as well. Click here.