Human Ways, II.

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2 years ago

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We can’t change anyone and that is what most people need to understand. They feel offended when someone didn't take their advice or listen to them. Rather than hold someone by the shirt to be heard, you had better hold your tongue than them. We can suggest and advise, but the decision is entirely left to them to accept and change, based on the information they have been left with. They have the right to process things and decide if they want them or not. You might not agree with someone but you have to respect their right to their choices.

When you can’t change someone, you will choose to change your view about what they are doing that you don’t like. I might not be able to make you act in a particular way, but I can choose to see what you are doing differently and if I can’t, I will let you be until you realize the effect of your action. It's very simple. Life is not hard but we just sometimes enjoy the complications that come with it.

Human nature will kick in and humans are one of the most unpredictable sets you can find. Our human nature will always spring up but it takes conscious effort to tame our excesses and not hide under the idea that we want to be accepted the way we are. As you have the right to act the way you choose, others have the right to decide if they want your kind of energy around them.

A man was trying to save a snake in the fire and as he attempted to save the snake, the snake bites him, causing him excruciating pain. The man dropped the snake and the snake fell right back into the fire. The man thought of what next to do and he looked for a metal pole to take the snake out of the fire. He did and took the snake out of the fire, then later released the snake. Someone who was watching approached him and said, "That snake bit you. Why were you still trying to save it again?" The man said something that struck me: "It is in the nature of a snake to bite and that can never change but it is my nature to help and I don't want that to change as well." It's all about a choice.

We react badly when we are trying to save someone and they still either don’t appreciate it or hurt us or make us feel like we are too much. We feel that is the end of trying to do good or help anyone. Once we have been hurt by one person, we generalize and try to change our good nature, but that is wrong. Once you are good, you are good, it's simple. When the action of one person or others would easily change yours then your resolve isn't strong enough. You can withdraw from the person, yes, but it shouldn't stop you from being there for others. Never change your attitude or nature due to someone’s inability to appreciate it. It is human nature to hurt and disappoint but what is the nature you are trying to build?

Just as I said earlier, you cannot change anyone, you can only try to accept people the way they are, point out what they are doing wrong and then leave the choice entirely to them. You cannot stop a bird from flying over your head but you can decide for the bird not to have a nest there.

Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Don’t lose your good heart too, because their human tendency kicked in, but there is no law against taking precautions. Yes, you can take precautions but don’t stop being good. One person might take advantage of your goodness but there is also someone out there who wouldn't.

I learned a lot from my dad while growing up and I have inculcated that into my behaviour. I will always do the best I can do, regardless of whether the person is taking advantage of it or not or whether the person appreciates it or not. It is not so much about them eventually, but about me. I won’t lose myself because of someone’s negative attitude but I can determine also the kind of energy I want around me.

Most people’s loyalty will change when they see a better facility than the one that was first offered. Learn to accept people for who they are and never allow them to influence your good nature.

I wrote this poem a long time ago...

Learn to live with human nature and tendencies

Even when you already understand their pretences

Life should be lived now and not in the past tense

You need to view everyone with possibility lens

We are all humans after all; with the good and the bad

No man can change anyone, learn to take precautions

And learn to understand humans and forgive in advance

Hard but not impossible, just learn how to pick your battles

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's why I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. 🙈

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2 years ago

Comments

Nobody can change my ways easily, human being can be difficult to change, mostly people believe In their self and they think they knows it all, human cannot be changed easily

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Human beings feel their ways are the best. No one wants to bend for another. It takes humility to learn. No one can change anyone unless the person willingly want to change. I agree with you.

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2 years ago

Absolutely true, no human being will want to bend easily

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2 years ago

Absolutely...no one would...

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2 years ago

I just learnt a valuable lesson today; if you're good; you're good, there shouldn't be excuse for paying back evil with evil.

Someone wronging you in the past shouldn't be an excuse for unleashing hell on another person.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly, my brother. An eye for an eye, the whole world would go blind.

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2 years ago

Ahhh, guilty! I really changed because of those ungrateful a$$! Now I am always hesitant to help because I don't want to ended up stressed again😂. You know the feeling that you opt to help when they are in need but when you're the one in need no one help?

I am talking about money actaully😂, not only once I lent. Because they need and promise to pay. There was even someone asked me a favor to borrow some penny thru a bank loan using my credit card. Me, being an accomodating agreed! You know what happnened? She just kept on saying she will transfer her payment to me online but I haven't received even a single cent! Now I am the one paying! That was sh!t!

$ 0.03
2 years ago

That's so tough and I can relate to this because I've been dealt with betrayal in that regard to some extent too. One just need to be careful and that's why I said it doesn't mean we won't be careful. A lot of people have burnt the bridges that helped them and the good thing is, that particular person cannot come to you again and you will answer, that's being careful.

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2 years ago

We can suggest and advise, but the decision is entirely left to them to accept and change, based on the information they have been left with.

We should not forget this. What works for you may not work for others. Let them decided on their own. Also, if they did not take your advice at first and they failed doing their ways, don't judge them. Rather be patient with them and continue to advice them.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That's right. We have all been too critical and judgemental when someone don't take our advice. I've been guilty of that many times before now too until I know better. We don't need to rub it in their faces either.

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2 years ago

Its like unsolicited advices. Its in nature of some people to give help or advices even if people didnt ask for it. Like telling someone this phrase: you're gaining a lot of weight lately. Maybe youre not exercising properly. How about you try my diet routine. But what the adviser didnt know is that shes fat because shes hormonal issues.

So its like this not unless you see the whole picture dont give opinions. Sometimes it worsen the situation.

If you cant see the problem in your own perspective try with other peoples perspective.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

A lot of people do this. They assume a lot without understanding the full depth of what someone is dealing with. Unsolicited advice is a no-no and that's why most people don't listen to such advice. Thank you for this. It's a brilliant contribution.

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2 years ago

Honestly speaking, if I was that man trying to help the snake, as soon as the snake bites me and fall into the fire, I will add fuel 🤣 if I extend a helping hand to someone and they refuse to accept it, I will just leave them and conclude that maybe they don't need help or they have a good reason for not accepting my help. But the only difference is that if they eventually ask for help, I won't hesitate to help

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Hahaha it's our natural instinct to want to withdraw. I know it's never easy when you are trying to help and they are not seeing it that way...but if we are good, we are good. We shouldn't be like the person that hurt us even though it's hard sometimes.

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2 years ago

I have said this time without numbers. If you can't change their perspectives, try seeing things from their angle and you would know if they are wrong or right. Example. I don't like India and Korea movies and the friends I move with think I'm weird because I watch anime and superhero movies or anything action. Action be it India, Korea. I watch what they watch because I found some I love but they aren't ready to see things my way or what what I watch.. I just gave up. So I told them I don't watch Korea even if I watch it sometimes cause they aren't ready to see things from my own view too

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Most people want us to see things their own way but won't bend a little to see things our way. Everyone wants to always hold on to their own perspective. I've stopped forcing people to see things they don't want to see. When they are ready, they will learn and I will be more than happy to show them while rubbing it in 😂🤣.

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2 years ago

😂😂😂I love that last line and I xa relate well....

Also that line looks diabolical 😂😂 Evil laughter 😂😂😂

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2 years ago

Hahaha I can be Iike that sometimes for those who want to act too smart. 😂😂🤣😂

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2 years ago

😂😂 I can relate well

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2 years ago

🤣🤣🤣😂😂

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2 years ago

Yes I agree you can't change someone but you can have the ability to advice and also the ability to try and change their view, human being can only change after considering all advice being given unto him, and also change is constant in the world

$ 0.02
2 years ago

It's all about the attitude. Some people reject advice even before you give it because they always want to be right. It depends on the attitude and open heartedness of the person.

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2 years ago

Yes that true some people believe they don't need other people advice

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2 years ago

Yes, we have people like that.

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2 years ago

We must be a good individual to everybody. Learn to accept them and inspired them. We should stand as a good example my friend.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Yes, we should stand as good examples even when others are acting up. We should be true to ourselves.

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2 years ago

Yes my friend olasquare. We should a good role model to everyone. Being a true to ourselves can be proud of, my friend.

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2 years ago

I love this. Thank you, my friend.

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2 years ago

You're always welcome my friend olasquare.

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2 years ago

🤗🤗🤗

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2 years ago

•Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Don’t lose your good heart too, because their human tendency kicked in, but there is no law against taking precautions. Yes, you can take precautions but don’t stop being good. One person might take advantage of your best but there is also someone out there who wouldn't.

I do agree with this, never stop being who you are because someone did something bad instead find ways to be more careful in it instead If ruling it out. Just like the story of the man and the snake. An interesting topic Mr. Square, thumbs up boo😘😘

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Thank you so much, sweet boo. Yes, we are allowed to be more careful going forward but we shouldn't rule things out. We should be true to ourselves.

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2 years ago

Yes, we should, we ain't the same. We reason differently

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2 years ago

That's what makes us human...the ability to reason differently.

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2 years ago

We can not change anyone, that's true..but sometimes, we are the reason why others changed, for good...inspired by our goodness and positivity.. that's effortless way..

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Yes, I like this. We can't force someone to change but we can inspire people to make a deliberate decision to change.

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2 years ago

I agree with you

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2 years ago

She's absolutely spot on.

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2 years ago

"It is in the nature of a snake to bite and that can never change but it is my nature to help and I don't want that to change as well." Would you believe, I've heard the same story but not with the same conclusion. The way I've heard it, it's usually used to justify staying away. I like your version better, and it's definitely a wake up call not to allow base behaviors to shape the way you frame your own. I love this. Thank you, my friend.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I am glad you enjoyed it. You know people would always change narrative to suit what they want to justify and I guess that's why that story used it to justify staying away. We should remember who we are and not allow other people's behaviour to shape us into who we are not.

Thank you so much, my friend.

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2 years ago

I remember what our primary school teacher use to tell us. " There are some children that just know the right thing to do even without telling them, that's how they are designed. Others have to be reminded from time to time. There are also some that would never listen unty they make a mistake and learn from it. While there are others that are absolutely unteachable

$ 0.02
2 years ago

This is so true. This is what makes us different. Some people can never learn until they make mistakes and some are so careful that they want all the help they can get to prevent them from making mistakes.

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2 years ago

Its depend on the person whether he like you.

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2 years ago

We don't need to like people before we can accept the truth...as long as they are speaking the truth which is why it's important to be self critical.

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2 years ago

We cannot force anyone to change. and No one is as blind as the one who does not want to see. My hive post https://ecency.com/@oblomov4/posts

$ 0.01
2 years ago

No one is blind like the one who doesn't want to see. I love that.

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2 years ago

glad you like it my friend.. Can I ask you something:

I can't share the post. can you send me a credit hp(ecency)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I don't understand. You can't share which post?

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I can't share on hive dude

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2 years ago

That's what I'm asking. Why waste your Resource Credit to be sharing other people's post when you can reserve it to make your own posts???

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2 years ago

I didn't realize my credits were gone, man. I didn't know how the platform works

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Your Resource Credit gets recharged daily. You just have to wait a little bit more for it to come up. Use it to focus on your posting.

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2 years ago

OK mate.

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2 years ago

So true. I have heard of the same short story but instead of snake it is a scorpion. We just can't go against nature. But we can try to accept it or avoid it. And we can just try to change what we can which is ourselves.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

This is wonderful...we can either accept it or avoid it. We should focus more on changing ourselves rather than focus on others.

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2 years ago