Self-Hate

Date: Saturday, March 26th, 2022

Hello Everyone, Happy Saturday to you all, and welcome to the sixth day of the week; I hope you will have a nice relaxing weekend.

Today is the 26th day of March, meaning we only have five days left till we enter a new month.

For some of us, the phrase "you are your worst enemy," holds a lot of truth.

The sad truth is what limits most of us in our lives and stops us from reaching our full potential is self-hatred and our feelings of unworthiness.

"I hate myself, I am not worth it" is a relatively common thought.

Where do these emotions or thoughts come from? 

How do these emotions influence us? and

How can you push past them and learn to love yourself instead of indulging in constant self-hatred?

You can hate yourself too much; a person might despise their appearance, feel like they are not good at anything, or treat others badly.

These thoughts may lead you to want to hurt or punish yourself, and no one deserves to live like this.

What exactly is Self-hate!

Firstly, living with self-hate is the same as living with an inner bully; this bully criticizes and degrades you constantly, making you feel powerless, worthless, ugly, bad, fat, or like a failure.

This inner bully also convinces you that other people view you the same way, which may lead to anxiety or low self-esteem.

Self-hate tends to develop over time.

The more you do it to yourself, the stronger it becomes; it is typically triggered by more than one factor, such as perfectionism, false expectations, or past/childhood trauma.

False Expectations

It is standard to want to join, be accepted, or be wanted. However, sometimes our anticipations of self can be elevated and unattainable by any human.

These unrealistic expectations lead us to fall short and feel that we are failures.

During these moments of self-hate, our inner critic shows up to shame and remind us of how disappointing we are as a human, and even when our rational side tells us the truth, the inner critic will always find a way to bring us down.

Perfectionism

Conclusion: a perfectionist is viewed as a person who allows no margin of error in their work and no room for human limitations or mistakes.

These people expect no error in whatever they are doing, and they try their best to do this in all situations.

It is essential to know that we often take on this mindset of a perfectionist because we are afraid of pain and feelings of disconnection.

We believe that when we perform a task perfectly, we somehow prevent ourselves from feeling pain.

This pain may include feelings of embarrassment, shame, loneliness, abandonment, ridicule, etc.

Trauma

People who exhibit self-hate have gone through traumatic or emotionally challenging experiences in their childhood/past.

When children/infants pass through traumatic experiences, they begin to view the world as an unsafe place and the people around them as dangerous.

In a step to make sense of the world, they may develop a narrative that makes them feel like they are not worth loving and have no value. These hateful statements may have been made directly to them by a parent or loved one, and they soon become familiar with their inner critic.

Social Comparison

While it is standard to look around and notice what other people are doing, it can become quite painful when you place value on that observation.

It is common to have "upward comparison," which means having the disposition to notice and give value to others performing "better" and devaluing themselves with self-hatred statements.

Self-hatred influences and affects several aspects of our daily life.

It can prevent you from making an important decision, connecting with others, taking risks, or achieving goals.

If you struggle with self-hatred, you may encounter the consequences in many ways or areas.

How to stop Self-Hatred

• Tame your inner critic

• Inventory your strengths

• Learn to accept compliments

• Develop self-compassion

• Practice forgiveness

Remember that stopping self-hatred will take time; it might feel impossible or challenging at times, you may even find yourself grieving, which is normal.

When you let go of negative criticism, you make more room for joy, peace, and connection in your life.