The topic today is all about Christmas season, I miss the old family of mind where we celebrating Christmas with no problem, where the happiness is always there and where the situation is not yet worst.

It's not that we're not Catholic or we hate Christmas, there's a story behind of it that even me I found it very disrespectful.

So what's the reason why my family don't celebrate it anymore?

My Step Sister Got Into Fight With My Father.

• This happened years ago, back when I was still a kinder. It was a Christmas eve and my step sister were drunk, my father got angry because she drink too much but my sister told her that he was the reason. During that time, I have no idea what's going on because they were shouting to each other in the night of Christmas. My father was really angry and even throw the foods from the table.

I can't erase that scene from my mind.

Being Disappointed In Me.

• This is my grade 9 days, it was so stressful and I lost track on my academic. Me and my father are not in good terms because my grades were too low, it's not high enough to be proud of. He told me that maybe I used to much phone, they didn't know that they are one of the reasons why I don't feel motivated. They are the reasons why I'm feeling this way, they were always scolding me, comparing me to others and sometimes they hurting me physically. I'm not even allowed to go out, I only stayed inside the house and nothing more. Whenever I want to go somewhere, he's telling me that, "Make sure that you're not pregnant when you got home." Welp, he thinks I'm like my sister who's go home with a huge tummy after disappearing for 8months. But I love that sister of mine, she's so kind.

My house is my prison, and being with it is like a hell.

Because Of My Mother.

• Last year, my Christmas was kinda amazing because they celebrate with a small portion of food. But what happened? My father figure out that the money was used to the dogs, that money was supposed to pay everything that we had last Christmas. Instead of celebrating it, my father ended up being angry and shouting again saying, "We shouldn't celebrate Christmas, all of you should die". See? My father was very short tempered person when it comes to the things that he hates.

Argument Because of Money.

• My mother loves money while my father loves CD's until now. There are one time when the Christmas fay was near, my mother spend all of her money and my dad got angry because of it. They even asked me if I have an extra so that we can celebrate Christmas. But that time, I need the money to pay my tuition at school. I pay 10k per month and I'm working on it to have a money for my tuition. My father were shouting and also my father, what happened is my father suddenly go to my room and slapped me. I was shock, like "What the f did I do wrong?". He told me that I'm just nobody and I shouldn't live with them. That where I plan to look some boarding house and I literally find one room per person. And it cost 60$ or 3,000 per month.

I Spend My 2 Years Christmas Away From Them.

• Way back at 2018, I'm no longer staying on my parents house because of their treatment. I'm in a boarding house where it was 3,000 per month or 60$ per month. I'm a part time student at one of the restaurant inside the University and they were giving me 150php (3$) or 200php (4$) perday. I'm only spending 50php (1$) or less than that for food. I don't take any vehicles and I don't buy anything that I'll not use.

• If I don't have have any class, I was helping at the hardware market by calling their supplier about their orders. They were giving me 150 or 3$ as well. It's not that huge but I manage to finished my senior highschool because of it.

• Every Christmas, I don't have any enough allowance to buy a food or anything that I need to eat. Because I only earned 8,500 or 170$ each month and I need my food and boarding house allowance.

• I'm giving myself an allowance like 150 perweek to buy anything that I need but it's always ended up at buying shampoo's, conditioner, soap and other things that I need to use to wash clothes. So I really don't have any allowance to spend 🤣.

I really want to celebrate Christmas with a happy memories, but it was always ended up like I don't know. Even me I can't understand what's happening in this family of mine.

Last day, it's a Christmas day but my fathers head was boiling and I can't do anything about it. He says badwords to me and all I do is to hear them but act like nothing, of course deep inside it was stabbing me. What can I do? My father's always like that everday.

Everytime I'm stressing Out.

• After my surgery I noticed one thing, after my Hysterectomy surgery every time I stressing out it was hurting. I can't explain it but yeah it hurts so much. Like I feel something inside me was stretching and it's not a good feeling. I always feel that everytime that I'm stress.

• Last day I was stress also and I felt like it's killing me inside, I can't explain either what's the feeling but that's what I feel.

Author's Note:

So how's everyone? How's you Christmas and how's the day? I know all of us are busy because of Christmas season and I wish you all the best, may this Christmas blessed us all and I'm wishing that next year was the great year for us with no any danger ahead. I know we can't avoid danger, but let's claim it.

BY: OfficialGamboaLikeUs