How to get revenge?

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4 years ago

Tragic crime events are increasingly prevalent in society. Not only events that endanger the rights of others materially, physically and psychologically. This crime also often endangers a person's life. There is quite a lot of news about criminal cases which are motivated by various motives, both logical and not. Then why does someone do that? One reason is the desire for revenge.

Revenge is the act of injuring or hurting another person because of someone's injury or mistake; the desire to make a levy.

When we are hurt, we will naturally respond by defending ourselves. However, it does not stop there we also have a tendency to counterattack what and who attacks / hurts us. Although sometimes this feeling of revenge is not recognized by us, but revenge is one of the intense feelings that arise in every human being.

Instead of helping us recover from illness and get on with life, scientific studies say retaliation actually makes us unhappy. Research on revenge studies shows that the picture of revenge is a little more complicated.

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Not just feeling satisfied after we take revenge on others. However, when we take revenge on others, the fact is we often feel worse afterwards even though at that moment we think we will feel better.

As humans, revenge cannot cross our minds. But what about our "revenge"?

Acknowledge Anger

Often acts of revenge come from neglected negative emotions, including anger. Anger that is not accepted will tend to blind the mind. Anger weakens our ability to solve problems and also balanced judgment. This anger makes us narrow-minded, rigid and aggressive.

Therefore, taking revenge well starts from within, namely by realizing, acknowledging and accepting the anger that is present when we are hurt. We can start by being aware of the physical sensations that arise when an event hurts us. Then we can slowly accept all the negative feelings and emotions that arise so that we can make peace with ourselves, others and reality. That way, we tend to no longer think about how people who have hurt us feel the same pain as we feel when injured.

Thinking Balanced

There is no revenge that will give birth to justice. Justice has an element of honor and virtue, while revenge is a boomerang that is based on the ego to be selfish and detrimental to others. Revenge will make life like that.

We are busy how to get revenge. We are busy remembering the words that hurt us. We are busy thinking about how people who hurt us can get hurt. We are really in a hurry.

This paradigm will help us to be critical and balanced in thinking and deciding whether we will continue to hurt those who have hurt us or not. With the justice paradigm relating to impartiality and upholding equality, revenge is not a fair decision for ourselves or others.

Conversely, with balanced thinking and as objective as possible, our decisions and choices will also be far from the influence of emotions. We can start by writing down the effects of what will happen, if we reply to others. Will doing this have a positive impact on us and those around us? If not, then obviously it's not necessary.

Choose to Forgive

Revenge is a decision of anger, especially one that is not realized and accepted. Therefore, it's good to try to open your heart to forgive. Forgiveness is certainly difficult but it provides many benefits for us. Forgiveness can make us reduce the motivation to take revenge, reduce the motivation to avoid those who have hurt us. As a result, we will be encouraged to devise good deeds, even though we know someone has hurt us.

Revenge will only make us validate our qualities as those who have hurt us. We will be followers of that person, even though those who hurt us rarely remember their treatment of us. Insulting others will make us inferior to those who put us down. For this reason, it is enough for those who humble themselves.

The best revenge is to prove the success of our lives in managing emotions in us, not by hurting or hurting others. Revenge is not for a peaceful soul like us. Revenge is not a door for compassion.

May every soul be peaceful and happy!

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4 years ago

Comments

Ochie,I first of all wants to appreciate you. You are a good writer. You got me read almost all your articles. About revenge,you said it all. Two wrong can never make a right. Our ability to control our feelings, be it anger,joy,shows our maturity. We're judge by what we say. Their is a popular saying,or word of knowledge that suggest that,we should never make a wish when we are angry or when we are too happy. The best revenge, when you're angry is silence.whiles the best action ,when you are too happy is smiles.

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4 years ago

Thank you for the opinion of the material, very good ... thank you for reading my writing :)

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4 years ago

Awesome article I think the way you formatted it looks very good I should try making my articles more presentable thanks for it!

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4 years ago

Thank you, your writing is also very interesting :)

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4 years ago

Sorry for who post it, but i think 🤔 its not good revenge is not good in every way. It can kill people, hurt it, and endanger ther life of her family and her other relatives. Just dont do it. Please dont do that

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4 years ago

My writing also leads to it, thank you for your opinion.

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4 years ago

Revenge is not good at all, just as you mentioned, it endangers the life of people, when hurt it is best to forgive and let go. For that alone will bring peace even though the world is not at peace.

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4 years ago

Yeah

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4 years ago

Taking revenge is not good.If some one do harm your first time you need to forgive him but if he do this again you take revenge.But you should take revenge that way he did not understand.

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4 years ago

Sure

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4 years ago

As human taking revenge is arkward but to forgive no matter the gravity is divine

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4 years ago

It is true

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4 years ago

Your article are good. I read your article. Write other article. Thank you.

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4 years ago

Thaank you Samir for the spirit :)

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4 years ago

Jesus said forgive. There will only be ultimate justice if the God of the Bible exists. Revenge is mine says the Lord. Fortunately Jesus is risen from the cross for our sins and those who believe and follow him will be saved!

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4 years ago

Very nice. Thank you Friend

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4 years ago

In 2015, Dee Carroll was billing $17 million a year in her Washington, D.C.-based organizational development firm, heading a team of 18 in two locations, including a recently added IT arm, when her board suggested bringing on a chief financial officer. She found a candidate, and the board approved of her hire. Carroll, with a Ph.D. in business administration and 28 years at the helm, turned her attention back to growing the company.

"We were doing well," she recalls. Every once in a while, she checked the books. The numbers added up, but she couldn't figure out why the borrowing wasn't decreasing on her line of credit. "We're self-financing," the CFO assured her. Then a day came when some documents needed reviewing and she called the bank. Its numbers and her numbers didn't align. Carroll summoned outside auditors to search for a discrepant half million. The day she confronted the CFO, he admitted to running two sets of books. It took forensic accountants months to figure out how the guy had walked off with more than $2 million.

Carroll cashed in her 401k and filed for reorganization to keep the company afloat—while she spent a year in and out of hospitals with stress-induced illnesses. Then the bank froze her assets, and it was all over. "I was so angry, all I wanted was to get my hands on that CFO and punch him out," says Carroll. Miraculously, a few months later, the day came when she could. They found themselves side-by-side in the parking lot of a giant Walgreens—she in her old Land Cruiser, he in a new Audi. Ever the planner, she pulled out her phone and called her attorney: "Get down here—and prepare to get me out of jail."

Carroll chased the CFO through the superstore. He outpaced her. So she shifted strategies: I'll just ram his car. Behind the wheel, it hit her. "If he had me going like that, he was in control of my life. I drove off—and I felt good."

The desire for revenge, she felt, "had stripped my courage, my convictions, my confidence. It had me beating myself up for my failures: 'I should have known.' 'I should have checked more often.'" Crumbling was not an option. "I decided I'm not going to give him the pleasure. He'll only see me flying high."

And maybe he does—literally. Carroll has not only successfully launched a new company, she spends much of her time traveling the globe, promoting "emotional emancipation." She focuses on persuading women that no one controls what they can accomplish. "I needed to embrace the possible," she explains. "Now I can grow."

What Carroll apprehended, sitting in that parking lot, was that nothing she could do to punish the CFO could harm him as badly as her desire for revenge was harming her.

Rerouting the Amygdala Revenge-seeking has deep, seemingly instinctual roots in the human behavioral repertoire. Since the dawn of civilization, the highest authorities have sanctioned harming someone in the same manner as he or she has harmed you. From the 1754 B.C. Code of Hammurabi, the sixth Babylonian king, to the Bible—Exodus chapter 21: "You shall appoint as a penalty life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth"—the ancients specified how the impulse for revenge was to be carried out.

From the time we are barely able to put together full sentences, we yearn for revenge, screaming, "That's not fair" in response to a perceived injustice (a sibling getting dessert that we don't, because we are being punished) and following that outcry with the vow, "I'll get you!" targeted at Mom, Dad, or the babysitter for giving preferential treatment to the kid who shares our bath.

As adults we're only slightly more sophisticated in response to abuses by others. A small insult—getting cut off by a driver—can launch a highway chase for miles, either to cut that motorist off in the same way or to deliver the hand gesture known as "flipping the bird."

Most people seek to mollify psychic pain by attacking back. But there is a better, far more adaptive way—showing 'em, by achieving something personally and socially significant related to the offense. To first turn the other cheek and then build something meaningful, to oneself and to others, out of the abandoned anger requires a psychological shift—within just about anyone's reach—that harnesses the brain's amygdala, its processing center of danger, and redirects its impulses.

When you cope with psychic pain via achievement striving, your mindset is on the possible. Revenge-seeking hitches it to the horrible.

"A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well," wrote English philosopher, statesman, and scientist Francis Bacon. He captured the core problem with revenge: It demands ruminating about wrongs, which amplifies their significance, aggravates what sparked anger, and makes it impossible to let go.

Freud was the first to dissect the amplification of suffering brought on by anger born of distressing events. Paradoxically, despite the pain that such recollections cause, the events are "reviewed, repeated, or rehearsed"—through dreams or obsessional ruminations.

The continual mental replaying of an event, however humiliating, is a primordial propensity to revisit hurtful interactions in an attempt to master through imagery what could not be mastered behaviorally. As the initial injury is relived, negative alterations in cognition and mood grow progressively worse—negative thoughts and assumptions about oneself or the world, exaggerated blame of oneself or others for causing the trauma, feelings of isolation, and difficulty experiencing positive affect. The original insult remains a focus of cognitive imagery.

Failing to consummate revenge fantasies turns them into obsessions. American literature offers the definitive example of obsessional revenge seeking in Herman Melville's Moby-Dick; or, The Whale. After losing a leg to a white whale, Captain Ahab embarks on a hunt to destroy that whale, a quest that ends in his demise. To this day, "white whale" is another term for an obsessional pursuit.

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4 years ago

The writing is very long, but I like it ... Thank you for giving extra insight

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4 years ago

Revenge is not good at all, just as you mentioned, it endangers the life of people, when hurt it is best to forgive and let go. For that alone will bring peace even though the world is not at peace.

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4 years ago

Exactly, I've felt it too :)

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4 years ago

No forgiveness, no peace for your soul. :0)

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4 years ago

Yes, indeed, someone's characteristics are different, but as much as possible we can practice the peace of our souls, so that we can focus on the more positive side for ourselves and others

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4 years ago

I agree to that last quote, best revenge is to show them you can do better! I really don't like the idea of direct revenge or getting back to person or people who've done you wrong. I let karma do its work and focus myself on becoming better. In that way, their insecurities towards you will build up and will soon get to their nerves! Hahahaha what a pain in their part. Let them be jealous of your success but never let them drag you down.

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4 years ago

Very very very True :)

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4 years ago

Living well is the best revenge

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4 years ago

That's right, by calming ourselves down, it's actually a victory for ourselves

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4 years ago

Good article

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4 years ago

Thank you :)

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4 years ago

Nothing can cure my sorrow for losing a fellow countrymen more, than looting LG smart televisions.

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4 years ago

Very sad indeed, hopefully all will improve

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4 years ago

Usually when we take revenge it delivers nothing. No satisfaction and no justice. Choosing to fogive is how humanity works.

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4 years ago

absolutely agree

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4 years ago

If I may ask, what do you think about the saying that goes "I will forgive you but I can't forget"?

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4 years ago

"Can't forget it" as a lesson for our lives to be better, and of course it is a valuable experience for ourselves :)

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4 years ago

Really your post is very nice and good post.I Intersted your post.Please like and comment my post

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4 years ago

Very good. Remember you don't have to forgive, you don't have to explain to the other how he hurt you, but you can, in attempt to help. But you can take action anyway, because there is one reaction that is always moral, and that is to disassociate, or turn your back on the bad people. Nobody has the right to be your friend.

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4 years ago

Very good. Remember you don't have to forgive, you don't have to explain to the other how he hurt you, but you can, in attempt to help. But you can take action anyway, because there is one reaction that is always moral, and that is to disassociate, or turn your back on the bad people. Nobody has the right to be your friend. Thank you for completing :)

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4 years ago

This is very nice post.i like your post.i really don't like direct revenge.thank you.

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4 years ago

Thank you for understanding :)

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4 years ago

Revenge does not really benefit you, so stop revenging.

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4 years ago

Yess

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4 years ago

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4 years ago

Nice post.. Revenge is of the Lord but let's all try to report all cases to the police or any appropriate force close to us. Thanks

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4 years ago

My writing also leads there

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4 years ago

This is a great article. Could you check out my works? And can you be my sponsor as well pretty please😊

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4 years ago

Thank you.. Sure

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4 years ago