Dear John,

I know it's late to ask your forgiveness, It's been a decade but please hear me out, I know I use you and I admit it, and I won't make an excuse of what your cousin has done to me because you two are different, and I'm sorry for throwing to you the pain that I bear when he fooled me. You were there to make me happy but what have I done? Ohh!

Hello, my dear sponsors, it's again a story of love. Since we are now in a Feb-big month, so hear me out.

Let me ready first myself in sharing this, I know I'm a fool to hurt others and I already regret it.

It's not my JOHN now which I am going to share, I just remember that his name also is John Nuh? Hmm. . John looks like didn't leave me alone.

Please sit back and relax, spread love 💕

After my first love, I'm not into a relationship anymore, I didn't promise but I make sure first that the man I will love will be worthy of my love.

After graduating high school, my dad told me to stop first because we can't support my studies, it's ok because he promise that after a while I will going to proceed.

For my stay at home, I didn't get bored because I join our neighborhood to work on the farm, and every Saturday or Sunday we roam to a different town to have fun, it's either a video key, disco, or fiesta.

I meet a guy there, he is older than me and he is a decent man, a silent type of a person.

Hahaha, my heart started to pump again, like what?

My friend give my number to him, and it Was the start of the story, we text and call every day, his my outlet for my frustrations, I want to proceed to my study but my father refused to do it, he offers me to take care of everything but I didn't allow it, because he has nothing obligations to me.

We became a lover.

He is a busy man because of managing their rice field, and only sometimes we can see each other but it's okay with me because he calls and texted me his whereabouts every day.

One time when we meet at one of the spring resorts here, of course together with my cousins and friends because it's swimming time, he covers the cost.

They are many also, he brings with him his cousins, that's the time I meet Jhon.

We become friends with John, we also exchanged text messages, and because of my ka kikayan back then, he started falling for me. (It seems I am beautiful🤣🤣)

Because of John, I discover that my Onat has another woman, I confronted him and he didn't deny it, such an honest person, he didn't in love with that woman but he pities her because she is sick, hardly sick, and she wants to take care of her, they are at the same age, and the most painful truth is, that woman is a cousin of my first love, it's like fate plays for me. For the second time around I'm broke again.

I suffer the pain, of course, I let him go, I don't like to be the hindrance of the only happiness of that woman.

JOHN is always there for me, and he even offered me to make him a rebound and guess what. . . .I grab his offer😭 which I regret the most.

After a month or two, his effort is beyond measure but I didn't learn to love him back, I attempted to break up with him because of my conscience, but he tried to end his life, I'm so scared, so I explain it to him and apologizing him for what I did through text only. He wants to talk to me in person but his uncle forces him to bring him to their province somewhere in Cotabato.

We lost connection at that moment, a month had passed, an unknown number texted me, he tells he miss me, I know it Was him, So I apologize again and he told me if I want him back, he won't continue his vocation there, he entered to become a pastor, but I wish him luck and said sorry for the last time.

Closing

Oh no! May ganito pala akong story sa Buhay.

I learned from my mistakes and I know he's happy in his life now. Maybe I may be the person that sends to him to test his personality, to measure his strength and weakness, like me I also encountered so much hatred before I met my JOHN now.

But, I am not proud of that incidents because I know I hurt the person who loves me the most at that moment.

We don't have the right to hurt others because of revenge.

Thank you for being with me.

Goodnight.

Nadeen is signing off...zzzzzzzzz

Ps. Lead image screenshot from Google.com