Death could be the most -hated word in the vocabulary and death of a love one is sure to be the most painful episode a human-being could have. Death is never new to any of us. I'm sure we somehow have seen death happening to our relative, our close family member or a friend.
Death could be abrupt or gradual. A lot of people I know would prefer to die because of sickness because they say they will have ample time to reconsider their plans, reconcile with people and most of all ask forgiveness from God. I have also friends who would prefer to die because of an accident so that the pain will just be felt at once. You won't be hurting for a long time just like when you are sick. I can still remember, Roxie, my roommate from college who wants car accident as her cause of death because she thinks it is appealing and she would sound rich by that.
But no matter abrupt and gradual death is, it would really be painful for the family and friends that will be left behind. Years ago, my friend's mom was diagnose with cancer. She was taken to the hospital and underwent different medications but her body was too weak that she prefered to just go home and spend time with family and cherish being at her house. She was so weak that every night and day she would cry because of pain. There has been numerous episodes when she tells everyone to let her go because she can't take it anymore. Everyone knows that she will give up sooner. But her daughter went on denying the fact that even after years had passed when her mom died, she was still questioning the Lord, 'Why did He let her mom die?' I can't blame her. She is entitled of her own feelings.
Two weeks ago, my 87 years old grandmother passed away. She isn't my biological grandmother. She is the wife of my grandmother's brother. But, even so, we were still close especially when she was younger because we go to the same church. Her biological grandchildren lives far away that she only has us to turn to. This grandmother is generous. Her kids were doctor and engineers and her grandchildren are also the same. From time to time, she would travel to different countries and she would never fail to have something for us. She loves to have beach trips too when she was still able.
Until, time comes that she can't go to church anymore and can't recognize our names. When she sees me she would often asks if I'm done with my studies. Until, her body became weak and she would spend all of her time in bed. Everyone knows that she will be leaving soon. In fact, her children started to prepare everything for her at the cemetery. That might be rude and unappealing to some but her eldest child was being practical since she lived in Manila and it would mean a lot of hassle if they don't plan ahead.
I thought death would get a different reaction from Christians. According to Philippians 1:21, For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. I thought they would never cry because they knew well enough that we were not meant to be here. We are just travellers and our destination is far greater than we can imagine. So death is a celebration because only then, we can be united with our Creator. But on grandma's last viewing, her eldest cried. My mother told me the tears wasn't because she can't accept her mom's passing but due to the sorrow and the hole that grandma left. She may have accepted her mom's death but she can't stop her tears from falling knowing she can't see her anymore.
Tha pain of seeing a love one die is a mix of feelings for me. As a kid, I have dreams of scenarios when and how my father or any family member dies. I pray before I sleep but I still have those morbid dreams. So, I grow up anxious and scared and I would play scenarios in my head on what possible things could happen if I lost a loved one. Of course, I wouldn't be able to bear that. But over the course of time, God has His mysterious ways of teaching us to change the way we pray.
And that I believe comforted me from all of my fears and worries.
Thank you so much everyone! To my sponsors, upvoters, to the people who spent time to read and comment, you made my soul happy! Thank you heaps!
September 19, 2021
7:39 p.m. | sunday
Murakamii.7
Ako I don't find it rude na nakaayos na lahat. Kasi kung ako din ganun gagawin ko for myself. Gusto ko ready na para di na intindihin ng mapagiiwanan ko when that day comes. I have witnessed some of our relatives na hindi prepared. Walang memorial lot, walang coffin and all. Yung hindi pa nagsisink in sa kanila na namatayan sila pero kailangan nila magpakastrong kasi walang ibang mag-aayos para maghanap kung saan ililibing, anong kabaong ang pipiliin tapos anong susuotin. Meron pang instance na natagalan pa sa morgue kasi nga natagalan din sila maghanap ng pera para pang kabaong then saan ibuburol. Then syempre naexperience ko din yung ready na lahat. Very smooth lang yung process. Kasi alam na kung saan ililibing, saan ang wake lalo kung hindi sa bahay, ano susuotin and all. Ang inayos na lang nila yung bibilhin na food for the people who would visit. Pero nasa sa tao din kasi yun ano preference nila. Kalimitan sa iba ayaw nila pinaghahandaan kasi parang feeling nila any moment mamamatay na sila.