just another emo thursday

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Avatar for Murakamii.7
2 years ago

Just this morning a friend chatted me and asked if I could buy her some apples and oranges. This same friend is the one who likes to talk behind the back of our other friends and loves to point mistakes. Sometimes, I'm pissed of because she would tell me about the things she doesn't like about others. Sometimes, I call her out and tell her to quit minding other's business as she also complains that she doesn't like other people to talk sh*t behind her back.

The funny thing is:

We like to talk behind each people's back but we don't want to be the topic of their gossips.

Anyway, I did her a favor. That is always the scenario. Her name would never pop up in my messenger unless she has me to do something for her. I'm used to that. Being other people's go-to-person. Someone who can do errands and favors for them to make their lives better.

At first, I didn't mind because in my head this is the time when I could catch up and help my friends. This is the time when I feel valued and important because I have done something good for them. Until such time, slowly, I didn't noticed that I have allowed them to use me and take me for granted.

I've come to the point when I would go extra mile just to do favors on my friends' behalf. Some of the things I do will be left undone because I prioritize them first. I don't want to go on a day thinking that I still have t do some favors. I want to get it done as early and fast as possible.

Moving on, I live a life afraid when her name appears on my messenger again. Before I click her name, I would make up alibis for me to say No to her but I always ended up saying Yes to her requests.

This is unhealthy. She would be delighted as she thinks I take pleasure as I do tasks for her but I have been planting bad vibes in my heart without my friend knowing.

I ended it.

I decided to put a stop to it. I alter my perceptions and quit thinking and growing bad vibes. I used to be upset when my friends would only remember me when they want me to do favors for them and when they want something for me.

I used to be upset and angry when months would pass and they haven't send a simply 'hi' on messenger.

I use to fall into deep dark hole of self-pitiness when I'm going through hard days and there is none I could call to.

I used to be sad when they aren't there when I celebrated small wins too.

I used to be mad when they only remember me when they need something from me.

I realized..

Life wouldn't be lived with your friends sticking by your side literally like a glue unless you have same passion but that too could also have boundaries.

I realized that we all have different dreams and challenges to face too.

I realized I needed to get a life.

After all..

Friends remain friends no matter how often you keep in touch.

Friends will be friends even when you got no chance to meet for years too.

I have reconciled to the idea that a friend remembering you only when there is a favor is not bad.

It just goes to show that she thought of you as the best person fitted to do the task for her.

It should not be a burden as she is a friend.


How about you read-friends? What are your thoughts on this? Don't mind me. I'm just having an emotional Thursday. Oh, how time flies so fast. In few moments, it would be Friday again. Why is it that the earth seems in a hurry rotating and revolving? I'm still having a hard time figuring out my life.


Thank you so much everyone! To my sponsors, upvoters, to the people who spent time to read and comment, you made my soul happy! Thank you heaps!

September 2, 2021

11:27 p.m. | thursday

Murakamii.7

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2 years ago

Comments

I'm baaaaaack. Hahaha. ๐Ÿ˜ Ang user na kasi ng dating kung panay favors na lang. Parang hindi na pakikipagkaibigan yun. Ok lang yung mga paminsan lalo na kung sa line of work mo. Example you work at Globe. Yun pwede ako magask ng favor. Pero yung errands na pabili, pagawa at palagi naku gamitan na yun. Katamaran na on the side of that person.

I agree when you said that friends remain friends no matter how often you keep in touch. Ganun sa amin. Minsan nga kahit yung magkasama kayo pero tahimik lang kayo friends pa din kayo. I mean kasi wala na kayo mapagusapan and walang awkwardness kahit ganun. Pero syempre hindi naman yung buong araw kayo magkasama tapos hindi naguusap. Iba na yun. Hahaha. Yung isang friend ko nagsabi nun decades ago. Sleepover siya dito sa amin tapos wala na kami mapagusapan tapos yun nga daw ang ganda na kahit tahimik kami, walang awkwardness na "ui kailangan may makwento ako".

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I have learned to say no early on. Maybe because I'm not that people person. Growing up with lots of siblings one must learn how to be independent and take care of your younger siblings. I try to do things on my own that's why I have the notion that when people ask for help, I believe that they can do it and find solution to that that does not involve me lol! I still help whenever I can :)

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yes, I agree. As what I have observed from my sister. She really says No. She might think that she has younger siblings who needs her more.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It's good to help but do it not to please others.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ganyan din ako dati hahaha. Napapansin lang pag meron silang kelangan. Tas nong nag learn na ako na mag no, nagalit na sila sa akin ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Lumayo na ba ang loob sis? Haha

$ 0.00
2 years ago

We did the same thing mare, I quit doing what I used to back then. I'm just so tired of them. They are abusing my kindness and I hate it. Now, I am free. I finally learn to say NO to them.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Good for you sis. It would be nice to say no as to protect our inner peace.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sometimes we have to let go of people we think to be our friends but they actually just use us. It is freedom when we do that. And yes, true friends are still friends despite time, distance, and everything else.

And you trying to figure out your life is living life, I think. Because my idea is that life is discovering many things about ourselves and others and enjoying the process too :)

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It's hard to let go when you think of the years and memories you've been through.

And yes, life is discovering many things about ourselves, I can't remember the last time I discovered something about myself.

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2 years ago

Yes, that's hard but the 'sacrifice' will be worth it :) I'm sure you have already, but just didn't realize it yet, hehehe

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2 years ago

But just don't admit it yet haha

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2 years ago

Hahaha, you see?๐Ÿ˜‚

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2 years ago

They are users not friends, all take take take, I would say no no no!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Owwww, I should learn to say nooo.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

May kaibigan ako na di nagpaopup sa messenger not until may jelangan sha. Sarap bato sa ilog teh

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Ay nakarelate ka be? Hahaha okay lang yan marami tayo

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2 years ago

True friends will be friends no matter what the situation will be.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Have you had that kind of friend sir?

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2 years ago

Relate c.e ko ani mamsh kana bang muduol lang nimu kay naay kinanglanun tas kung wala labyan ka lang mura rag wala kaila.. naka experience gyud ko ani mamsh.. Huhu..๐Ÿฅบ

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Sakit maamsh? Sagdie na laman haha

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2 years ago

Sakit mamsh.. parang sinampal ako sa mukha hahaha๐Ÿ˜„

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2 years ago

Kulbaan sie ko abi nahog ako na hahaha sa first na part kay sge rabag pang libak hahahaha

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Hahaha unsay nawng sa kulba bi?

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahahaha alam mo na

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Di lahat ng friend ay true minsan yung iba feeling close kase may favor sila sayo..Iilan lang talaga yung mga friend na maaalala ka hindi dahil may kailangan sila sayo kundi dahil miss ka nila hehe..

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2 years ago

Hahahaha ang sakit naman nun friend๐Ÿ˜…

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2 years ago

Ay grabe nman c friend, friend ba yan tlga hehe.. Anyways d tlga minsan maiwasan may mga ganyan at oo as you grow older and mature syempre my kanya kanya na dream na chi ni chase.. ๐Ÿ’ช

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2 years ago

May friend ka bang ganyan mommy jaytee?

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2 years ago