I Dislike Too Much Drama

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Avatar for Momentswithmatti
2 years ago

Hi everyone! How's your Monday so far? I had been thinking if I should publish this or not. But I guess it's just human for me to feel this way so I better press the publish. Please don't misunderstand any of the things written here. I just want to write whatever is on my mind at this moment and I guess there might be others who can relate to what I feel so that's why I am sharing it.

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Family issues are surely unavoidable, like tensions between family members, misunderstandings, and arguments, some would even have these fights, sometimes physical flights. I believe that this is normal as each family member has a different personality, and the in-laws, each grew up in many different environments, cultures, and sets of behaviors so it is expected that there will be issues among each other. Even those who live together since birth have their own issues, how much more do those whom we didn't really know each other very well.

Our family, although we grew up in a Christian home has our own battles as well. I don’t want to say that we are perfect because there’s no such thing as a perfect family. Every one of us is imperfect but the worse thing that I have realized is that the year 2021 had greatly challenged us as a family.

You know, in 2020, I gave birth, and three months after, we decided to live in Bohol. I thought everything will be smooth sailing but everything turned upside down. Praise God for His sustenance because the issues that we faced that year involved issues amongst my brothers and each of their families. I am the only girl though and I expect that my parents would at least give me the most attention but no, they told me firsthand that they are happy about me marrying James who is very responsible and is after God’s heart.

In short, they don’t have to really pay much attention to me and my little family as they thought we are stable, financially, spiritually, and physically. I don’t think parents should think that way but that’s what their mindset is. I have been open to them about that and told them that they must also show us that they are treating us equally.

Now comes 2021 and the first family attacked by the enemy was my kuya, I have a kuya (2nd brother), manoy (eldest), and along (youngest), I am the third of the siblings. His marriage and family relationship with his wife was hard-pressed, we had several days of praying and crying out, lamenting about what had happened, I don’t want to go into details about it but it was a relationship and trust issue but thankfully, by God’s grace, the issue was fixed and we were back in a happy environment until the last quarter of the year, it was my manoy’s marriage that has been tested again. The sad part is that the problem is still ongoing until now, it’s been more than six months. The year 2021 ended and the new year came, several birthdays had passed and several events in the family are about to come yet this issue is still present.

I had come to the realization that it is becoming toxic and I don’t want drama anymore. Although I know that there are things that we don’t know, that only my brother and his wife know, it is unavoidable that we are dragged into the issue.

So, I told my husband that this home is really being attacked. The enemy wants to destroy the marriages inside the house and who knows, our marriage might be tested too, but one thing’s for sure, the enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. The enemy might look like he is winning but we are fighting it with prayers. We have no other way to go but look up to God who is able to change hearts.

But in the meantime, I had decided to stay in Cebu for the purpose of unlinking the toxic environment that I had to deal with when in Bohol. It may sound like we are abandoning my parents but no, I told my mother about it, and because my skin condition is also breaking out like it might be caused by the stress and too much thinking I guess it is indeed time that we have to stay here.

My mother messaged me the other day about this new issue among the brother and sister-in-law and I told mama not to drag me anymore or inform me about it as I don’t want to be stressed with their situation. I had enough, they are not the center of the universe, I have my own world to take care of too and if I’d continue to be involved in their feud, I might end up a madman. So I told mama not to be stressed about it as well, just let it go, rest on God’s sovereignty. Things happen for a reason and time will tell why things happen this way. Because sometimes, my mother tries to be controlling and so I reminded her that the people who are having this issue are not young ones, they are adult individuals, no matter what we try to tell them if they are just hard-headed, they won’t really listen, so enough with all the efforts, just rest and just let go, let God.

I am telling it to my mother but I am also preaching to myself. I told her at the end that we will for now stay in Cebu to unwind, live without drama at least for now, and be stress-free for now. It’s been six months that I had been involved and it’s enough.


That's it, guys. Thanks for reading my rant. I have to just let it go and thanks to readcash for being a medium for me to do so.


xoxo,

momentswithmatti

Mother | Boholana | Cebu | Philippines | Travel | Photography Enthusiast | Calligraphy | Art | Crypto Noob

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Avatar for Momentswithmatti
2 years ago

Comments

Hi Sis! You are not alone with family challenges like this.. and maayo inyo.buhat na nipalayo lang sa mo. Kay tinuod maapil gyud ka sa stress. But continue praying na soon ma end na ang mga dramas. Karon ang ginaattack bitaw ang mga pamilya pero padayun lng ta ampo na malampasan nato ni tanan.

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2 years ago

Lage sis tinuod jd btaw... Paet kaau kun magpadala jd sa buhat sa kaaway

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2 years ago

Sis ayaw kaayo palabi ka stress. Ako tungod sa depression ug anxiety, nagsuffer ug kabuhi ug anxiety attack ang resulta nigawas sa akong dagway. Nagka seborrheic dermatitis ko naay kaspa sa ulo ug mga pula pula nga murag chicken pox sa dagway. Apil bugas bugas. Nadepress gyud ko ug murag gusto nako magpakamatay kay ulaw kaayo mugawas.

Basta sis ayaw padag-a ang stress kay mao nay makadaot.

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2 years ago

Salamat sis sa imong advise . Actually naa koy skin condition na pula pula.kun walay tarong rest... Salamat kaau sis

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2 years ago

Prayers lang jud ang kaya nimo ihatag ana mamsh kay once marriage gani di man sad ka ka enter nga mo patunga sa ilaha coz they need to fix it themselves man jud.

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2 years ago

o ihatag ana mamsh kay once marriage gani di man sad ka ka enter nga mo patunga sa ilaha coz they need to

korek bitaw momsh..mao sad ako remind ako mother about it..dili ta kacontrol nila

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2 years ago

gani...actually mao sad na problem sa balay but dili jud ko manginlabot about sa akong sister ug sa iyang bana kay sila dapat mo settle ana..

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2 years ago

Korek jd bitaw momsh

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2 years ago

Ate tama lang ung ginawa mo para na din maingatan ung family na binuo mo and syempre mahirap mabuhay na lagi kang nadadamay sa proble ng ibang tao.

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2 years ago

kaya nga eh.. i guess enough na yung 6 months na parang pasan din namin sila...

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2 years ago

ay nako ate 6 months antagal na din nun. dapat lang talaga ate layo na din kayo pero hindi naman sa cut ties. wag na lang kamo masamain.

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2 years ago

Hindi naman sa cut talaga parang temporary lang hehe

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2 years ago

ok lang yan ate maiintindihan din nila bat kayo lumayo temporarily.

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2 years ago

Yeah thanks sis

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2 years ago

Mas better nga na lumayo kayo kesa madamay pa kayo sa mga blablabla nila sa buhay. Ang hirap mapagitnaan pa naman ng mga naggigiriang sasakyan aguy. Buti nalang talaga malayo kamag anakan namin samin kaya wala kaming ganyan

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2 years ago

mapagitnaan pa naman ng mga naggigiriang sasakyan aguy. Buti nalang talaga malayo kamag anakan namin s

heheh buti jan sa inyu madam.. pero ganun talaga ang buhay ... mabuti nalng at meron kaming way na makag- go away.. sila parents ko nireremind ko always kasi matatanda na...

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2 years ago

Naalala ko yang skin condition mo. Sa Dubai ba tama? Basta yung nagwork ka abroad. Tinetest ko lang ang brain cells ko. Hahaha. Tama relax and unwind ka lang muna. Maganda din yan na nailabas mo yung nararamdaman mo. Yes, everything happens for a reason and I know that God has a plan. Just continue to be the better person and keep on praying. 😇

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2 years ago

g brain cells ko. Hahaha. Tama relax and unwind ka lang muna. Maganda din yan na nailabas mo yung nararamdaman mo. Yes, everything happens for a reason and I know that God has a plan. Just continue to

salamat sis. yes when I was in dubai.. nawala na siya pero bumabalik nga pag stress ako and kulang sa rest... thanks sis!

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2 years ago

How are you feeling now sis? I hope kahit papano eh naalis yung burden jan sa dibdib mo at least you can vent it out here without hurting your family. Lilipas din ang lahat and I do believe God will do miracles in your family kaya kapit lang wag papatalo sa kaaway.

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2 years ago

thanks sis... yes kapit lang talaga ako kay Lord and pray ko talaga sila always.. sabi ko nga sa mama ko..we have done everything na and so I leave it to God's will nalng.

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2 years ago

True yan sis, you've done your part and I guess it is time for the other party to do their part too. Kung ano naman ang kalooban ni Lord eh yun talaga mangyayari, but I am hoping it will be the best for everyone.

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2 years ago

Kung ano naman ang kalooban ni Lord eh yun talaga mangyayari, but I am hoping it will be the best fo

thanks sis for your comforting words..ganun na nga ang nasa loob ko sis

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2 years ago

Tama maam jean. Siguro enough na din. Dapat mag focus nalang muna sa mga bagay na nagpapasaya sakin. Wag natin ipasok sa mind natin yung mga bagay na nagpapastress satin.

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2 years ago

tama nga sis.. un na nga naisip ko.. nasistress talaga ako pag naiisip ko sila... it's about time naman na hayaan na muna and let go... salamat sis

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2 years ago

I like that you reminded your mom that they're adults, there's every tendency to want to control because they're still children to the parents regardless of age

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2 years ago

hildren to the parents rega

yeah, they have that tendency and they ended up frustrated because the adults don't listen

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2 years ago

Sometimes we need to express ourselves sis in a matter of writing our sentiments.

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2 years ago

that's right sis... thank you!

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2 years ago

Sometimes it feels good to let it go na dn momsh. Everything will be okay in time. Hugs and enjoy muna with fam. :)

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2 years ago

with fam. :)

thanks momsh... appreciate it!

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2 years ago

As much as family can stress us out to the bone with their issues, we just have to show up when they need us cos that's what family does. Above all, we have to pray that God helps us stay together and keep troubles from us cos no matter how strong we are, we would get tired soon.

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2 years ago

uch as family can stress us out to the bone with their issues, we just have to show up when they need us cos that's what family does. Above all, we have to pray that God helps us stay together and keep t

thanks dear.. i guess I was just very stressed with what's going. on with them that I feel like i have to give myself space to breath... thanks a lot!

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2 years ago