Realizations: Mom guilt, again

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Another lovely morning to all of us. It is also nice to feel the cold breeze every morning. I remember when I was still a kid, when the Ber months started you can already feel the cold breeze in the air. Well, maybe because of global warming after a few years the weather has changed a bit. But I am still happy to feel the cold feeling every Christmas season, I just like cold air. :)

Anyway, let me just share what I realized in the past few days.

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I began to put Lil B in her crib. I decided to not just use it as a changing station but since she's loving standing up and stomping her feet, might as well use the crib as her playpen. Her crib wasn't expensive, we just bought a Palo China wooden crib for only 800. :)

I have a lot of toys by the way, not from my exes but from playing Piso games or ticket games from arcades/claw machines. I didn't get addicted in computer games or other things. I was a working student and irregular student when I was in college so I usually get subjects or schedules that will fit my work schedule too. Most of the time, I only have 3 subjects per day at school. Sometimes professors will inform us just to do this and that then leave the classroom. Yes, another time to kill. Good thing, there's a mall near our school. Just a few minute walk or a 2 minute jeepney ride TADAAAAH! SM CENTERPOINT! Here I come. Of course eating is one of the agenda in the mall but after that, what's next??? SHALAAAAAAH! Me going to Timezone or Worlds of fun. Since I have my own money, I usually spend 300 pesos whenever I play there. Basketball until I get tired, after that me going to claw machines or Piso games machine. After all the tickets that I got, here's some of the toys that I redeemed.

Captain America, Iron man, the yellow dotted Snoopy on the corner

After 7 years or more, I finally find it useful until my Lil B was born. Now, what's that got to do with the title or topic?

Well, I named one of the toys Dakdack (coz it's a duck) and Spoopie (Snoopy) and I let her play with them while she's in the crib. Then the other day was kind of a busy day for me. I washed and stuffed her cloth diapers, I needed to prepare her food for 3 days. I just ask my sister to take care of her while I'm doing those things. I can't do things while Lil B's asleep because she wakes up right away when I leave or put her down (we co-sleep). But right now, I am starting to train her to sleep on her crib. I finally got the trick, she needs a very soft pillow when I put her down. Apparently, that comforts her like a little newborn.

I also train her when she wakes up. I put her in the crib watch TV or play with her toys while I do my morning prep and breakfast. Luckily, she's already getting the hang of it right now.

Ayun si Dakdak

Boy, but for the first 2 days, she wasn't used to it. Being in the crib was new to her and doesn't like it. She was always used to seeing me or being with me. She cries whenever she saw me go to the bathroom or go to the dinning area to get water. She cries with her eyes getting red like I left her, abandoned her. Even when my sister is just there beside the crib, Lil B still cries if she sees me leave.

NOW...

For the first few days of putting her in the crib, I realized yesterday that I shouldn't let her cry that long. My mistake was letting her cry while in the crib just so she get used to it. Boy, it was all wrong. Another mom guilt moment for me. How did I realize it? I compared her sleep yesterday from the last two nights.

For the first 2 days of putting her in the crib, during her night sleep I noticed that she cries after a few hours of putting her down beside me on our bed. It was a cry of abandonment, scared of being left. I know, mother's can tell what kind of cry their baby does. It was around 3 to 4 times that she would cry like that, until the next day, same cry maybe same reason.

Yesterday, I did still put her in her crib but when she cries, I immediately go back or at least carry her for a bit and put her back. It sometimes works, she goes back to playing. Then she slept early yesterday, I noticed that she didn't cry while she's asleep, I mean she didn't literally cry unlike the past 2 nights. She only turned to me just to nurse her.

Right then and there, I realized that what I was doing was wrong. I don't want to hear her cry like that again.

But now after a few days staying in the crib during the morning or afternoon, she seems to know how to play and she sometimes watches the TV and I'll play kpop videos for her for distraction. She's now attempting to stand up, she already has a position on how to stand up but she cannot still carry her own weight, when she can't do it of course I'll carry her for a bit and let her sit in the crib again then play.

Pillows are only to prevent her from having scratches from the crib. It's still wood and she cannot control her weight yet. I never leave her unattended while in the crib.

Closing

This may apply to kids, adults and babies too. Do not let your baby cry for as long as one minute or more. Specially at the age where they began to know what they want and ask without LITERALLY saying what they want. It's very important to their emotional and mental health as babies. They needed to feel comfort in any way.They needed attention and comfort. I think that's all that a baby can ask for. I'm going to give that to her while she's young. Lucky for me, I am a stay at home mom and I can take care of her personally.

I know this may not apply to all mothers, specially to working moms but I know you have a trick to work around it.

To new moms or for those who know that just gave birth, just trust your mom instinct. You may ask a few people, do some research but you also have to trust your gut. Weight every opinion, suggestions, try, if it doesn't work, try another method again until you find what works for you and your baby.

Just remember, there's nothing wrong with carrying your baby all the time, smother them with love and comfort while they are young. Everybody needs comfort, even adults. What more for a baby should have? I'd give triple or as many times as Lil B needs.

By the way, I came across @Khing14 's article yesterday about mom guilt and I realized one too for a first time mom. Sorry if I cannot link your article, I am using a phone kasi huhu. Thanks for sharing your story mamshi!

If you have any suggestions or opinions, please feel free to comment below. I'd really appreciate it as I am a first time mom. :)

Lead image from Unsplash, pictures posted are mine.

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Comments

Two babies ko ganyan din. Mag shower Lang ako, iyak na. Kaloka.

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2 years ago

nagstart na nga maging ganun si bb kuuuu

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2 years ago

Hahaha enjoy the moment

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2 years ago

this si so true... babies cry because there's something wrong, we have to look into what's making them cry and satisfy it.

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2 years ago

truueee, since dili pa sya magtalk hulaan muna kmi huhuhuhuh

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2 years ago

This is the second time I read Spoopie. My aunt called Snoopy, Spoopie before that I correct her all the time. Ang cute naman ni baby sis!! Ayun nagamit mo Din mga stuff toys mo.

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2 years ago

hahaaha!! kasi baho na poopie ng bb ko ih kaya Spoopie. Buti ngagood condition p dn ang toys kahit matagal na

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2 years ago

Lahat nga siguro tayo momshie may kanya kanyang guilt para sa mga anak natin noh?... yung sa huli nalanh natin narerealize..

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2 years ago

oo nga mamsh eh. pero ang importante at natutunan ko eh dapat marunong dn magsorry ang mgamagulang. kaya kahit di pa nya naiintindihan nagssorry pa dn ako..

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2 years ago

Truth..at dapat matuto din mag thank you

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2 years ago