Run, While you can!

So earlier today, I decided to skim through the net and keep myself abreast on things going on in the society and somethings I saw were just shocking and mouth opening.

The most recent news that was every where was how a popular gospel singer was killed via domestic violence. Apparently, she was hit on the chest by her husband who according to the news report and comments from close friends of the woman, had been giving her severe beating from time to time without fail.

The death of this woman gave rise to various comment here and there especially on social media, with most people saying that no one should stay in an abusive marriage.

While I agree with all the things that have been said by all, I just feel like humans noawadays have a complete misconception of this love thing as well as what Christianity entails.

All the close friends of the lady who was killed kept on saying that she never wanted her abusive marriage to come to limelight because she felt that God would change her husband. This kind of thought pattern is so flawed and it doesn't depict love at all.

Why is it that no one stays with a mad person at home but quickly sends them somewhere they can receive help and when it comes to a crazy woman beater of a man, the woman thinks he will change by himself.

Society too will be blamed for they have greatly contributed to these misconception that people now hold about marriage. We are always quick to laugh at a failing marriage just because we can, we stigmatize and preach about their failure when right before their eyes and yet we say that they should not stay in such marriages.

I'm not trying to justify why any body whether man or woman would stay in a relationship that spells doom, I am only trying to bring out most of the things that go on in their minds that make them reluctant to leave.

Everything has an exception, therefore no one should die because they said for better or for worse.

I just couldn't help but shake my head at how much people have been screaming "leave any abusive relationship, it's not worth it". I shook my head because lost of these young girls are going through abuse daily in their relationships but they think otherwise.

Abuse is not only when a man hits you in the chest or on the face and gives you a black eye or a swollen lip. It goes beyond this.

Abuse can be physical, but it can also be emotional, verbal, financial, or any other type of behavior that keeps one person under the control of another.

There are tons of red flags that the abusive partner will show before it leads to physical abuse but most of us are just too blinded by love to see this. Wake up cos love is not meant to be blind.

Signs of an Abusive Relationship

While every abusive relationship will involve different approach, it is all still the same in the end. Here are some of the signs to watch out for:

• Communication Monitoring

  People who are abusive may try to monitor your communication with other people. They may ask to read your texts and emails, log into your devices without permission, or even install tracking software to keep tabs on your social life. They will frequently use this against you later.

• Isolation

  Abusive partners also commonly isolate the people they abuse. They come with stories of not wanting to lose you and end up enslaving you. Either way, the goal is to cut off your support systems that could otherwise help you leave the relationship.

• Financial Control

  In some abusive relationships, the abusive party will work to remove their partner’s control over their own finances. This is intended to make it harder for the abused person to leave the relationship. The abusive person may cut off your access to your accounts, hide information about your financial situation, or try to make you quit your job.

• Coercion

  Another common tactic of abuse is to force you to do things you don’t want to do, whether through begging, threats, force, or emotional manipulation. This can include sexual activities, but it can also include any other behavior you do not want to do. Abusive people may also use coercion to keep you in the relationship if you try to leave.

• Emotional Manipulation

  One of the most common types of abuse is emotional abuse. This can include:

• Insulting you

• Humiliating you in front of others

• Making you feel like you’re “crazy”

• Calling you names

• Making you feel guilty for normal activities etc..

Healthy relationships involve both partners building each other up. Abusive relationships involve one party tearing the other down.

• Physical Violence

  Finally, physical violence is the most well-known sign of an abusive relationship. This is often the last resort and the boss of them all.

Nobody should wait till this last phase before they find their way out else the end result will likely be bad or worse like death.

Lest I forget, males too can be abused by women. Let's not think that only women suffer in the hands of men. So if you're a man being abused, run while you can!

Author's Epilogue

I'm still mad and heartbroken at how such a woman would be killed by her husband. I wish I could just give the man a piece of my mind but I'm sure prison is more befitting.

I'm sorry if this article is longer than you're used to, I just had a lot on my mind.

Thanks for reading..

Mhizutty the voice of truth 🎵🎶🎵