Growing an adopted child, it's not easy

Adopted children can grow into problematic children. Who can potentially become emotionally disturb. The same thing can happen to biological child. Adopted children can be inherently dangerous because of their genes.

Regardless of the environment and upbringing they grow up in. This can be apply to biological children too, they may have your genes, but the environmental factor is not within your control.

You already have you daughter and son. Isn't that enough? Maybe that's what God had planned for you. Well, maybe it was part of God's plan for us to adopt a second child. These were the thoughts that spiraled through my mind before I adopted this girl. I will not mentioned her name cause it's controversial.

Let me share this to you about, the story of husband and wife who really wants to adopt a child. Though the idea of adoption had occurred to us before, it wasn't something my husband and I were very eager about. However, signs and circumstances encouraging us to do so quickly manifested in our lives.

As a parent of both biological and adopted children, I'm not trying to say that one way of growing a child is harder than the other, or better than the other.

My point is to say, that moms of adopted children have stretch mark and labor pain stories. Their sterch mark are emotional stretch marks. Their labor pains are the pains they carry in their heart for the mama of this broken world.

That doesn't get to hold her child. Adoption is similar to a growing baby inside your tummy. But instead of your body doing everything by instinct you're doing all the work voluntarily and emotionally. Instead of your body instinctively knowing what the baby needs to thrive, you're looking at a two year old and learning about what previous trauma may be making him feel like you are a threat to his safety.

Instead of your body knowing exactly how to keep your baby warm and safe, you might be trying to bond with a baby that's never known safe and warm this side of the womb.

Instead of your voice and heart beat being the one that baby has heard for 9 months inside of your womb, you might be going about you day with a heavyweight baby in a wrap on your chess to help them learn your voice and heart beat and draw comfort from them.

Instead of your body giving of it's energy to breastfeed your baby and losing hours of sleep due to nighttime feedings, you might be rushing to a child bedside multiple times a night to sooth night terrors and giving of your emotional energy to help the process of healing.

The growing of biological baby is involuntary. You give yourself whether you desire to or not. Your body makes sacrifices without you commanding it to.

The growing of an adopted child is voluntary. You choose to give of your self, you choose to make sacrifices for the sake of another. Adoption in our family, has given us a greater understanding of the heart of God. We tend to help adopted child because we don't want to waste their life.

Somehow, there conflict rises when your biological and adopted child simultaneously growing up. As parents you must be neutral. Learn to balance the situation. Being mellow to all children, it's giving a realistic love for them. If a parent decided to buy toys, it must me in equal division. As parents shouldn't be bias cause if you use to it, of course conflict will rise.

Parent should give toys everybody if he wants to buy toys. Don't just be one sided. Learn to be justice. Crimes may occur if someone knows that he/she is neglected, just like in last few years ago I think you're familiar with maguad siblings, I will not narrate the whole story cause it was so horrible. Violence prevails when the suspect noticed that she was neglected and seems not given a love. I'm just showing this cause I know some of you here already know that news.

Before, adopting we should responsible also and accept the adopted child to be part of the family. It's hard to think that you're part of the family but you feel a slight barrier to their biological parents or even their siblings. Sometimes we forget the love that we should show to them, and also they are merely creating a hearsays on their mind that he doesn't belong to the family.

It is not easy to adopt a child. You should be aware also of some history of a child. In other phenomena, since it was a child there's nothing we can apprehended cause child are naive. We still shape their traits through showing our deeds. It is not a guarantee also that we raise them good and our expectations they'll be also good children. In some forces like social media and company or friends, they also make an influence of the behavior of a child, so we must do everything not to have them with bad influence.