Faith is the bird.

The past month has not turned the way I expected it. Several things have come and tested our faith and health. I never mentioned it in my previous posts because of some personal things I cannot even answer. But all I can say is that no matter how it went, faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark - a glorious quote from Rabindranath Tagore.

Being infected with the COVID 19 virus has become my greatest year since the start of the pandemic. I am not the type of person who loves going out, but I still have fear inside me. I have many what if's and it makes me anxious all the time. I am constantly assessing my health since I am susceptible due to my health condition, which is part of our genes. Well, it is not guaranteed that when you don't go out, you'll no longer be infected.

I am tested positive with the antigen test but negative on the swab test. However, three family members tested positive. Most probably, it all started one afternoon when my father got home from work, and that day he said he felt tired, something he doesn't usually say even if he's really tired. He had a cough on the followings days, and of course, we were alarmed. Then it rained hard, and I felt bad after it. My head really hurt that day. I also experienced lower back pain and a mild fever. That time, I really didn't want to overthink because the night before it, I slept late at night doing some activities, and I just said to myself that maybe, it is due to the weather that day. And also, almost all people in our area before it experienced mild cold and cough, but eventually, they were all fine after a few days.

However, my brother felt the same. But the difference is that he got wet from the rain after helping in elevating down the flood that day because the rain is hefty. A day after, I already feel better and active again. However, I noticed that I couldn't smell my deodorant that is a bit fragrant. I started to panic more because it felt like I was infected already. The articles containing the symptoms I am experiencing make it even worst and harder for me.

Then I told my mother immediately that I can't smell. Since my family has a history of heart ailments, and due to the fact that I was diagnosed to have it when I was a child, she immediately called our barangay captain to ask for some advice. She then called the nurse from our city health office, which is also from our barangay, and asked for some advice regarding the best thing we should do. It was recommended that we will undergo the antigen test. After getting the result on the same day, my mother, sister, and brother tested positive. My father and I are negative. However, when they called my mother the next day, we found that I am positive too.

Indeed, it is a piece of awful news. Some people said, "ba't kasi sila nagpatest," as if it was just a joke to them. Well, they can't blame us because my family is really protecting me since I am the most vulnerable. Since my father is the only one who is negative on the antigen test, he also underwent a swab test. When the result came in, he was positive. He has then isolated himself in the quarantine facility in our area. We also underwent the swab test, and thankfully, I am negative together with my mom. However, my brother and sister, who initially tested positive in the antigen test, turned out to be really positive after the swab test.

I pray every day ever since I was a child, but we endlessly pray for our fast recovery during those days. Thank God because my father and my two other siblings only got mild symptoms. However, during those days, we are isolating ourselves. It feels really hard. I don't usually cry, but I can't help but cry. This virus that came to my family tested our faith, health, and strength. We fought back the virus, and we defeated it. Thank God because He is really amazing. He always provides. It makes us even stronger and closer to each other. Indeed, love and faith can make things possible, and just like what I have said in the intro, which is quoted by Rabindranath, faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. Because even in our darkest moments or most depressing events, we can still find something to strive forward, to continue getting up, and believing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.