From disappointment turns into finding Angel in disguise
Hello at your side dreamers, how are you today? Feeling excited, happy or exhausted ? But despite on the struggles you've encountered today , I hope that you still choose to fight and choose to feel alive. Don't forget that God never allows us to experience that struggles if we can't overcome it. So don't be so afraid on trying okay? I'm rooting for you.
In recent weeks ,I'm so exhausted not only because of life but most especially because of our thesis. Or maybe I can say that I'm not stress on the subject but rather on our professor. It seems that she will approve or reject our proposal depends on her mood. On first week of March, she already approve our title and she insist that we should work on our chapter 1-3. So we immediately work on it and we send to her our draft but then again she marked "X" on the whole paper with a word rejected. Not only to our group but on all the group in our class. The reason? According to her, she is not in the mood to check the paper so she just put an "X" to it. Is that a justifiable reason to reject our paper? Because of her mood swings , she rejected it. Did she know all the efforts we exert to finished that paper? Mostly of us, only sleep for about 2-3 hours just to do that and to search related literature about our study in order to came up to the good paper. It's okay for us if she will assess us to revise something on our paper but she basically needs to read it first to deeply identify the part that need to revise. I'm just disappointed that she didn't value that effort of us. She even shouted and called us " useless" and " st*pid".
And the saddest part about it, my other classmates including one of my groupmates choose to drop the subject because they can't handle our prof. I understand them because me as well don't know how will going to survive to this subject. Some of them are working students and my prof boldly said that they need to choose between their work or acads because she will not be considerate on them. So they decide to stop their studies rather than their work because they are the breadwinners and some of them is the only one who supports their family. Until now, I'm teary eyed because I can't imagine the pain they felt when they decide to choose their priorities over their dreams. Just because of that prof, everything fall into pieces. Some of the Seniors also shared that they are supposed already graduate but that prof hold their graduation because of thesis. She wants us to stay at the University forever lol. It seems that all my positive energy is gradually depleted. Can I survive this one?
But God is really good right? He will definitely give us hope and someone who can help us. My other professor give us hope when he insist to discuss research paper even his subject to us is about Financial Management. Earlier ,he even said to us "I notice that most of you look exhausted right now. Is it because of your Thesis". He is aware what's happening on that subject because he also witnessed that scene when there's still F2F before. We just smiled at him.. Okay mga anak, I volunteered to be your Statistician for your thesis. Don't hesitate to asked my help okay? I'm rooting for you mga anak". It seems that God already answered our prayers. Some of us even cried when our prof lend his hand to help us. Me as well seems to get the hope that I will graduate on time next year.
After our class, he even chat me and asked me if I'm okay because he notice that my mind seems floating and overthinking about something. He even said to me that he called me earlier but I didn't respond at all. I apologize and admit to him that I didn't lister earlier because I'm thinking about those classmates who drop out because of that subject. I also realize that most of my college friends are the ones who drop out because they can't handle anymore. It can affect to their mental health and there is one who said that she just want to die because of it. My mind is bombarded with so many thoughts so I didn't get a chance to focus. I'm at point that I also want to give up but there's also a corner that pushing me because I believe that I can survive. I also think my family as source of my motivation to continue. My prof said " Anak if there is heaviness within you, don't hesitate to share it to me okay? I'm your father in school remember?"
I cried after that conversation because it seems that I found another father that will support and guide me. Because of this, I missed my Daddy in heaven. I realize that even in the roughest journey of our life, there is someone who will reminding as the we are not alone. Those people didn't hesitate to help us to survive and overcome our problems. And I'm glad that we actually find that one, an angel in disguise. Now, I'm become more motivated to continue working on our paper. I know and I believe that we will survive this. For those students who is also struggling just like us, I know that you can also do it. Let just keep moving and reminding ourselves about those reason why we want to finished our studies. Let's manifest this one🥺💚
I'm sorry if this article is full of rants, I just want to let it out all the disappointments I have. I just want to sleep peacefully.without worrying about this one. Sorry again hehe.
Go Mayiee! You can do it. Don't stop and prove to that Prof that she/he can't stop you to finished your studies and attain your goal.