always a cheat day
Last year was the best year for me. I've been reconnected with friends who I no longer have connection with for a long time. I met different kinds of people and some of them became my family. We smoke and got drunk but those were the best days of our lives.
I also met someone who I thought will be my last. If you can still remember about the ex I am telling in some of my articles, you can connect the happenings. Anyway, let's call him Steve. Steve came to me unexpectedly and our relationship was the least thing I expected. At first, my friends told me I should go with the flow with him because he's the one paying for our bills everytime we go out and drink. Yes, my friends were users way back then but they realized it was inappropriate so they leave that mindset and just mingle with Steve genuinely.
Steve was so friendly and selfless. He was the most accomodating person I know and the most generous guy I ever met. He has so much respect in me though he told me already that he liked me. He never took advantage of me even once in one of our drink sessions. He will even say sorry if he gets close to me. He was a sweetheart too! He never failed to send me sweet messages everyday. I never thought I will fall for him because he wasn't my type. He's not so tall and he's kinda chubby. I didn't realize that he has my heart already not until he went back to Cebu to manage their business. His characters and views in life got me.
He told me he's just going to consider me as a friend because he knew that he wasn't my type and he asked to just let him express his feelings for me until they go away. I felt something for him that time so I told him about how I feel and that's when our relationship started. It was August 16, 2020. If only we didn't broke up, we celebrated our first anniversary already. Things did not go as planned because I ruined them so we ended in a disastrous way.
To cut it short, Steve came back for me even though he needs to be quarantined for 14 days. Yes, he went through it. He sacrificed a lot for our relationship but I did not realize it when he's still around. After the 14th day, he was out already and we met again. He hugged me so tight and I really felt his genuine love for me. Since they have a business in Cebu, he only stayed here for 14 days too. But during those days, he made me his queen and made our every day, a cheat day.
Everyday for us is a celebration of our love. We cherished every moment we are together and would always choose to see each other whenever I had my vacant time. One way of celebrating our love was having foods and sweets everytime we are together. Steve knows how much I love food so he makes sure I have something to eat everyday. He was my food-buddy and he will always be even though he's not with me. I got mixed emotions as I am typing this because I feel happy but a little lonely for I miss him. I miss his ways of loving me. I am getting crazy because I still hope that he will be able to read my articles about him. I don't know in what way or how but I do want him to read this.
Okay, cut the drama. Lol.
Everytime we were together, we would spend the day full of laughter and our stomachs are full too. We went to different restaurants to try different food. Everyday was extraordinary. We sometimes celebrated the day having drinks just the two of us with the karaoke on.
During those 14 days, I can say that Steve spent a lot because we ate a lot too. He also treated his friends drinks and foods. He paid all the bills. I told him I will pay for our food next time but he got angry so I didn't mind paying anyway.
I will share to you some shots of our foodies.
There are a lot of photos here actually but I don't want to upload everything.
I am so happy to have sweet memories with Steve and to celebrate every day with a happy heart with him. Every day was a cheat day indeed. I gained weight when we are together but people around me said my body today suits me well.
Even I and Steve are not together anymore, I am still grateful for I have known someone like him. He will always have his space in my heart.
This is my entry to @LykeLyca 's anniversary giveaway. Happy Anniversary, sis! 💚
You can read her article here. https://read.cash/@LykeLyca/of-neck-pains-cryptos-and-giveaways-e3710650
Join in!
Just follow the giveaway mechanics below:
#22
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
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Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`All photos are mine`
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That Pink Uniform
I was scrolling on Facebook in search for something good to the eyes. Those things like different posts about food, funny videos, memes and posts about job hirings. Yes, I am always looking for them on Facebook. This afternoon, a post from a teacher gave me the enthusiasm to love my profession again as I am slowly losing my faith on it. Due to the pandemic I guess, the hiring of new teachers is not that needed as of these times especially it's still distant learning and the number of enrollees are not that high as before when it was still face to face. I already passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers and got my license to teacher. However, this is not a guarantee that we will be hired to teach in public schools. There are still complex process that we need to go through like taking the English Proficiency Test, gathering all the pertinent documents and having the demonstration and ranking. After those, we still need to wait for months for the result.
The results were released, and I passed. I belong to the Registry of Qualified Applicants which means I am on the list of applicants who received a total score of seventy points or higher based on the criteria and as a consequence of the selection process. In short, I have higher chance to be hired than those who don't belong. But, it doesn't stop there and I should not be confident about it. I don't want to write the other side of the selection process you will not like it.
So yeah. I almost forgot teaching and thought of something else for I have been waiting for more than a year. Honestly, I already thought of letting the dream go and just find another path for me wherein I don't have to wait because I really wanted to have a stable job now. I missed a lot of job hiring opportunities because I can't get into jobs wherein there is a contract for I cannot leave there and then when the Department of Education will call me.
That's why I applied for an online teaching temporarily because I can leave when the job I am waiting is already there.
Teaching online made me forget about my profession and my application for it. Being here in read.cash and earning made me happy as well though I wasn't hired still.
Going back to the Facebook post, I saw a post of a teacher who's wearing a complete uniform. It was a pink one paired with black slacks. In that post, she was on her way to distribute the learning modules to the students. It was raining and the road was wet and muddy. But, she still go through for the students. I was touched by her dedication and passion being a teacher. Then I realized that my heart truly desires teaching. Seeing the teacher wearing that pink uniform brought back the dream that was almost forgotten.
I think of my family especially my grandma who really wanted me to become a professional teacher. They did everything just to send me to school and now I already finished schooling, it was my time to give back.
I messaged my friend @Murakamii.7 about the Facebook post and told her that I really wanted to wear that pink uniform of teachers. She told me maybe that's a sign that I will receive a call from the DepEd and that I will be hired. I wish that too!
I just hope I will be hired before this year ends. I know God will give me this too for I want to wear that Pink Uniform. 😂
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead and final image are edited from Canva.`
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It wasn't the same
It wasn't the same.
I woke up with a heavy feeling. My body aches especially my back and waist. I guess this is because of my weird position when I was sleeping. I looked for my phone but it slipped on my bed and fell to the floor. I immediately rose to get it so I can check the time. It's 10 o'clock in the morning which means I woke up so late. I was thinking about the reasons why but haven't found any. I remembered I slept early and my shift has ended at 9 PM. After that, I went to our boarding house and fell asleep. I really wondered why I woke up on that time. I fell asleep again after minutes of thinking.
My phone rang consistently so I was again disturbed from my sleep. Dang! It was my grandma asking me about her Facebook password. Until now she has not memorized it even if she's on Facebook for almost 5 years. Well, oldies. After that, I decided to prepare for my breakfast. I cooked rice first in the rice cooker and bought some vegetables to the market. The market was just a walking distance since I am residing in the center town. When I got all I need for my viand, I hastened back to our boarding house to cook.
I prepared all the ingredients for sari-sari. The veggies and spices were all chopped and cleaned. The oil's temperature in the pan was also ready for sauteing. I sauted the onion and garlic first. You already know how pleasant the smell was right? But I found the smell so strong that I almost throw up. I was alarmed but I calmed my mind that it was just because of my sinusitis so I continue the cooking and just bear with the unwanted smell then I had my breakfast after.
It was one o'clock in the afternoon when my phone beeped. I got a notification saying that I need to go to the office at 4 PM. Because of that, I took a bath so I can still relax after and will just wait for 4 PM. The water was so refreshing that it took me half an hour to finish my bath. But during the bath, I noticed that the scent of my shampoo and hair conditioner changed unlike the usual. I just didn't think much about it and blame my sinusitis AGAIN.
I dressed up and started the daily routine for my face. I poured drops of micellar to the cotton and applied it all over my face. The scent of the micellar wasn't the same as it was too. Next, I put some cream and lipstick on. Lastly, I comb my hair and realized that my hair was so dry. Almost everything has changed.
Never mind again.
I went to work because it was almost 4 PM. One of my workmates was at the front door having her snacks. She greeted me with a smile and said something that made me stopped from heading to my work station. She told me I gained weight and my hips became broader. Well, I ate a lot these days so it's not that surprising. I just told her that my boyfriend is taking care of me well and would always surprise me with food which is true. I didn't care of it much because people around me told me that being chubby suits me well.
5 days have passed and I felt that my lower abdomen and hips are aching. This is the common sign when I am almost in my menstruation period. But, I just had my period 2 weeks ago. This is just too early. I tried to remember the exact date of my period but I cannot remember. It was every morning and night that my abdomen aches. Some of the episodes are unbearable so I took pain relievers and applied numbing cream. I admit I was used to abdomen cramps/pains because this is what I felt before and during my menstruation period but this was way too much.
Never mind anyway for I was so sure that time that it was all because of my incoming period. For that reason, I ignored everything. There was also a day when my sense of taste changed but not because of covid, okay? I didn't know why but the taste of the foods are not the same as they were before even the aftertaste of colas.
My lips were always dull and dry as well even if I put lipstick and lipgloss. My favorite perfume became the scent I hated the most so I gave it to my mom even if I just bought it a week ago.
I told my boardmates about how I was feeling but they just told me that I should sleep early and avoid going out after our 10 PM shift which I didn't do anyway. Lol. Perhaps these were all about my unhealthy lifestyle as well because it was almost every night that I drank with friends until dawn.
I hope everything will get back soon or else I will go to the doctor for a check up.
- confession from a friend of mine (she doesn't want to reveal her name for she's here in read.cash as well)
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead and final image are edited from Canva`
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Don't raise a tiger if you want a sheep
I realized that some people are ugly. Not because they are born one but because they are created to be one.
Ugly in a way that the beauty outside was outshined by unwanted character. I am not referring to what the eyes can see but the inner personality which reflects the soul. They said man was born naturally good which I believe for I cannot imagine an innocent baby bearing an ugly mind. What we are say something about the surroundings we are in.
We are influenced greatly by the people who are around us. No matter how our parents trained us, there will still be unwanted character that we can get outside. But what if the parents themselves are showing untoward behavior which the child immitates because he believes that's what right is?
Parents are role models for the kids and what they show to their children will surely have great impacts. I remember my younger brother argued with his teacher because the teacher taught different principle from our mom. The teacher said to my younger brother that he should not fight against other kids which my brother refused. He told the teacher that our mom told him to fight back whenever he's being bullied and hurt. Well, my mom's principle was not wrong because it's a kind of self-defense but that doesn't mean it's right too. Base from my own view, the teacher's way was right. Every child should not be encouraged to be brave in a wrong way. Self-defense does not mean we have to fight back.
After the teacher told us that, I realized that parents' influence matter a lot and their children firmly believe with them and consider them as right. This is the reason why parents should be very careful what to teach and what to show to their kids. How the kids grow in the future say something about their parents' parenting.
I wasn't able to write an article yesterday because something unwanted happened. Last night, my boyfriend and I planned to go to my parents and have dinner with them. It's 6 PM in the afternoon when we decided to go. My boyfriend, let's call him Chris, asked permission to his dad for him to drive their multicab because that's what we will ride on to get to my parents' house. His dad didn't say anything. I don't know but their environment here is not so friendly.
When we are about to go, my boyfriend's 3-year old brother wants to go with us and he started to cry loud and shouted to his mom and dad. This kid was very spoiled by them. Everything this kid wants, they will give and that's why he cried when he wants to achieve something because he used to get what he wants when he cries. Of course, he's still a kid so he repeats the behavior because why not? He get what he wants when he cries. Tsk!
His dad comforted him that he should not go with us because we will come home late but the kid continued to cry hard. Well, this kid by the way liked to ride in their multicab so much. Even if his dad will just park the cab inside, he will cry because he wants to ride. So her mom allowed him to. I don't want to judge them but being able to witness how they raise this kid is very alarming. Can't they notice that the child's behavior was improper already? What if he grows always being given what he wants and if their parents cannot provide anymore? Will he cry again even if he's old already?
Going back, the kid was crying non-stop and his dad quit consoling him. My bf's mom told the kid to ask permission from me if he can go. I said yes of course because I don't want them to put stories about me just because I refused to their son's request. I just said yes though I don't want the kid to go because I know we will come home late and I know that the kid will cry again and will decide to go home when we arrive there. My boyfriend doesn't want him to go either because he already knows what will happen there.
But my bf's mom still wanted to go with us and she told us they will just stay inside the cab and wait for us. Really? Am I that rude for her to think of it that way? That I will just ignore them while me and my Chris are having a great time? If only it's daytime there's no problem because that kid will not be in a hurry to go home when he'll be there. But that's not case. It's already evening and we cannot just go there to see my parents and go home after. That's why when they got inside the cab, my bf asked her mom where will they go which she then said they'll go with us. My bf told his mom why she always allow his little brother to get what he wants. He's so full of the kid's attitude as well. Meanwhile, his mom hastened outside the cab together with his brother so his little brother cried again. I know his mom was angry and would say something bad about us when we go.
And I was right.
This morning, my boyfriend's mom together with her aunties are outside the house already talking about something. I guess they didn't know I am awake already and I can hear what they're talking. My boyfriend's mom said that that's why we did not allowed them to go because we don't want to spend extra money for them. They believed that we went on a fancy restaurant and ate there and bringing them with us means extra bill. She also added that it's fine with them to not eat what was bought from our money. And then the conversation went on and on so I decided to go back to our room so I can't hear the rest.
How can a mother think of that way to his own son? My boyfriend just did that because he wants to teach his little bro that not everything he wants he gets.
Isn't discipline important?
Don't they want their son to grow with the right discipline? They said they want a sheep but they are raising a tiger.
What will you guys do if you were in my shoe?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Photos are taken from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
How About Online Selling?
Before the pandemic came, I tried my luck in online selling with high hopes of being successful. My urge to be an online seller rose up because of my friends who are progressing well with the business. I saw them post their proof of earnings and how their products are sold like hotcakes. They are also good in promoting their products which can really make the customer love and buy them. I think the way they edited and presented the items online contributed much to the sales.
I also wrote about my friends who have an online business that's growing. To some who were not able to read it, you can read here. My friends made me realize that doing business can really uplift you financially only if you know how to work smart. Working hard is not enough if we don't also work smart. Having business may it be online or in physical stores is not just a piece of cake. We need to invest financially of course. We need to learn and study the techniques on how to make it grow. Lastly, we need to be smart in handling money and this is the talent that I don't have for I like to spend money on food. Yes! Before, when I was still at work, I seldom bought things for myself because I will always prioritize foods because why not? If we don't eat what we want, we will be demotivated and the cravings will still not go away. So it's better to spoil ourselves with food we crave. https://read.cash/@Marinov/how-come-we-dont-break-we-bend-aa0bddb6
So that's it. I'm not good in handling money so I guess that's the reason why my attempt in online selling was not successful.
My first attempt was selling preloved denim shorts. That time, teenagers in our place are fond of wearing denim shorts especially the ripped ones. I have also seen on Facebook a lot of sellers selling those and they were sold in just a day. Because of that, I searched for a supplier whose items are of good quality with friendly price. Luckily I found one and she did not let me pay for the denim shorts. She allowed me to pick as many shorts as I want and when I will be able to sell them all, that's the time I go back to her and pay. One thing that's nice is that whenever there will be unsold ones, I can return them without paying. It was a nice offer so I accepted it. By the way the price of each short was 70 php or $1.40 and I will sell each for at least 100 - 120 php or $2.00 to 2.40 depending on its quality.
So there I tried posting the denim shorts online and tried to do all the editing but then my phone's camera was not that good unlike those my friends used. As much as I adjust the lighting, still the photos aren't that nice as the actual. I had no choice so I still posted them. There are a lot who commented on the post and inquire for the price and bought them. I was also able to sell some of the items especially the ones with smaller sizes. I think I sold almost half the number of the items online and the rest, I displayed them outside our house. I was able to sell much and if I still can remember it right, there were only 5 pieces left which I returned to the supplier. It was not easy since I need to be online as much as I can so I can respond to the inquiries. I also need to do good sales talk which I think I am not really good at. I don't like my customers to expect much of the products so I will tell them honestly what I think about them.
I had a good profit in selling those denim shorts but then my profit was gone swiftly because I keep on spending with foods and skin care (I want my skin to lighten up 🤣). After that, I haven't tried selling denim shorts again.
The next one was selling AVON and Personal Collection products. I thought the profit for these items are great since the one who oriented us made a good profit for he had his own branch unlike us who are just resellers. The profit also came so slow since the customers are given one month to pay for the items. Still, I tried because I loved seeing the products displayed at home. I posted them online as well but they were not sold as much as the denim shorts because there were a lot of resellers of the same products I was selling. As a result, I was the one who purchased all the products and left them for home use.
In my third attempt, I also tried to sell trendy tops which became a hit as well. The tops were nice that's why they were all sold. But just like the denim shorts, my profits were not used properly again so I was not able to roll the business.
**Conclusion**
I realized that what I lack is the proper handling of money. I was young back then and my interest in selling was just influenced by shallow reasons. I also did not value the importance of savings because I thought money is easy to find. Now that I became matured, I am now struggling how to be financially viable so I plan again on investing for business. They said, your children can't inherit your profession. It's good to have own business for they can have it and continue it.
For now, all I need to learn is how to handle money properly.
Have you also tried online selling?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`All photos are from Unsplash.com not unless stated.`
Ciao! ❤️
Name a baby
Let's name a baby! One of my friends is having a baby and she finds it hard what name she will give for her baby girl. It's her first baby and she wants her baby to have a unique, and simple name. She's asking me about my suggestions but then I don't have any idea. Well, maybe I have but I'm not sure if this name fits the baby and her standards for a name.
Let's just say my friend's name is Elena. Elena is about to give birth to her daughter in less than 2 months. At first, she thought her child is a baby boy since her physical appearance changes. Her skin tone darken especially in the neck area. Her feet was swollen and her face was somewhat stretched a bit making her nose wide. I guess that's normal when someone is pregnant.
There are pregnancy myths that people here in our town believe until now. They said that if a pregnant woman gets haggard, her child will be a boy but if she's glowing while on pregnancy, her child will be a girl. But there are also others who tell exactly the opposite. These are just myths anyway and no scientific explanation at all. Do you also have pregnancy myths in your place? Do you believe in them?
Going back to the baby name, Elena is always disturbing my peace since she wanted the name of the baby to be finalized already before she gives birth. Her partner is not yet sure of the name as well. She hasn't asked about her partner's suggestion because she wanted to have the name first and let her partner know after. She knew her partner is having a hard time deciding because she saw her partner's recent searches on google about baby names. That's why Elena wants to come up with a name of her own and her partner as well and after, they will have a consensus about the final name.
I don't know that it's going to be that hard thinking of a name. I thought the hardest part is just giving birth and taking care of the baby afterwards. Lol.
I asked Elena about her name preferences. She said she wants a baby boy name that will suit for her baby girl. Just like the names "Kenneth", "Alex", "Francis", "Joey" and other boy names that are used to name girls too. Not only that. She also wanted to have another name which means there will be two names as first name. The pattern will be like male name + female name or vice versa. Just like the names "Angel Christian", "May Christian", "Lyn Francis" and other combinations.
How can she think of that way? She even finds it hard to create a name on her own knowing that it's her child. How much more us, who are just future godmothers, right? But we're good friends so the rest of the squad suggested names.
I told her "Sky" will be perfect for her baby girl. It's unique for a girl to have "Sky" as her name. Elena liked my suggestion so she said yes to it and she will consider the name. One of the squad also added the name with "Zerene" which is a baby girl's name. They said "Zerene" means peace, calm, or serenity. I found it lovely tho. That's a unique name and would blend well with the name "Sky". We combined the two names and the result was "Sky Zerene".
What do you think?
It's not yet final because Elena said she will think of it more and consider other suggestions too. That's why I am here asking for help. Hoping that you have a nice name in mind that suits Elena's preferences. I will be beyond grateful for every suggestion. ☺️ Feel free to write in the comment section.
Let's name a baby!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is edited from Canva`
`Photos are from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
Sorry, I'm busy.
*"Sorry, I'm busy."*
This is the response I want to hear after I sent a message to someone. My question was just answerable with yes or no and typing it won't consume much of her time and won't hurt her. Unfortunately, she was so busy I guess that's why she just read the message and did not reply. Well, I am not in the position to judge her because I don't know what's the situation she's been going through which made her unable to type a yes or no.
I don't know but after she has left my message on *"seen",* I felt like I should not bother again which I successfully did. I promised to myself that it's the last message I will send to her. I have this I-will-not-bother-again attitude.
I am glad to say that after 5 days being on seen, still she has not replied my message even she's online. Lol. Can you tell me what's the catch? I'm so slow when it comes to realizing things.
Let's move on anyway. I have thought of something else to write but somewhat related to the above issue.
For you, what's harder to take? A message that is seen or o message that is unread?
Everyday, we can't count how many messages we sent especially if our work is online related. Well even if not, we still do send messages to friends, classmates, relatives and other acquaintances maybe just to catch up, have a chit chat or to ask something. It's already understood that the people who we message with can't attend to us the exact time we ping them and that's so fine. They can just reply when they're free. We don't know what's their time of business and we should wait.
But what if the message you sent are left as "seen" or perhaps "unread" while the person you message is online? And take note, it's been one week since you sent the message. What would be your conclusion?
Would you prefer your message to be "seen" or to be "unread"?
Personally, I would prefer it to be unread because I think that works better for me. Not reading my message is better than reading it and not replying to it. I can clearly conclude that the person is just busy or maybe he's online but not into chatting as of the moment. But if it's mark as "seen" for a week, well it's time to move on, girl. We understand that everyone is busy but being busy for the whole week and not even giving time just to reply, "Sorry, I'm busy" means something else for me. I don't know how do you see it, but for me, this is the sign that I should stop sending message to that someone.
"Seen but no reply"
Ouch! I know most of us hate this but we need to accept that not everyone likes to talk with us or even answer our concerns. That's okay. Just think that those people have their own business and they are too busy with it. Learn how to accept that not everyone consider us as important. Accepting the reality behind this would make our mind at peace.
Actually, I don't prefer it this way. If I am busy, I will not dare to open the message without the plan of replying it because I know the person who sent it might feel bad. Not everyone is open minded.
Some friends do it like this and I am so cool with it because I know one day, they will need some help too and I hope they will not be ignored. 🤞
What I am trying to say is that we should be kind all the time and we should spare a little bit of our time informing those who need our help that we cannot do something about the issue. Don't let someone wait and hope for nothing. After all, we don't have everything all the time. We don't know everything all the time.
Let's not be selfish. Help, if we can. Refuse, if we can't. Be direct!
I still consider her as my friend even though she ignored my message. Lol. No hard feelings, dear. I will still help because I know how to help and not because you deserve my help.
Because if we will base our help to according to who's deserving, we can just count them with our fingers.
It's better to help because we know how to help.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Shout out to sir @TengoLoTodo for renewing his sponsorship. I am truly honored. ❤️
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
All photos are from Unsplash.com
Ciao! ❤️
Good afternoon, lovelies! Been away for almost 2 days because of power interruption. Malakas ulan dito at walang tigil ang brown out. 🥺 How's the weather in your area?
Let's all be safe always! ❤️
I'm lost.
Last night, I slept so late again. I think that was already 12 AM or 1 AM. There are a lot of things that are keeping me awake every night turning me into nocturnal. I sleep during the day and fully awake at night. I tried several ways on how to fall asleep fast but those ways don't work for me. Even drinking a glass of milk every night doesn't induce my sleep unlike before. I tried to think deeply what really keeps me from sleeping early and I realized that maybe it's because I think a lot at night. I worry about tomorrow and still dwell in my past.
I have this ex-boyfriend who I cannot forget since the day we separated. We ended up in a not so formal way. We didn't say goodbye to each other. We just ended the communication until we decided on our own that we are already over. Meaning, no closure at all. This ex-boyfriend of mine is the very first man I cannot get over with. At first, I thought I will just forget him just like the others but I am wrong. I think God let us meet so that I will learn my lesson.
Call me anything you can describe/think. I have been to another relationship while I was still in a relationship. Yes! That was last year. I was with my boyfriend for 6 years when I met another man (the ex I am talking in this article). My 6-year boyfriend was fine but I don't really see my future with him even we are together for so long. Perhaps, we are not just for each other. I told him many times we should broke up because I don't feel anything towards him but he's just too hard-headed and would decide to continue the relationship. When he was away, I found a reason to broke up with him. I know I was too harsh but not letting him go when I feel nothing at all is like fooling him. It's better to hurt him with the truth for one time than making him believe we still work though we don't. I called him and told everything that I am breaking up with him and each one of us will be in our best if we separate.
That's why I met, Steve, my ex as well as of now. Steve was so generous and loving type of boyfriend. He gave all to me without me asking. He was the type of boyfriend that you will not have a problem when it comes to financial aspect. He has his own business. He's selfless too and spend money everyday just to treat his friends with foods and drinks. He put me first before anything. He thinks about my welfare and my future. He cares about my family too and gets along well with them. He supported me when I was still applying for a job and until I get the job already.
I was thinking that if he's the one I marry, my life would be perfect because I told him already that I really wanted to be a housewife and he agreed. Actually we planned about our future already. He had already purchased car, and the next one will be buying our home in case we plan to settle down. We searched for house and lot online and already eyeing one that he's about to buy. Everything was planned already but then destiny made fun of me and tested me, and my faithfulness which I failed.
I never knew I love him not until the day I left him.
Something happened that ruined our relationship.
I've been influenced by my friends which made me lied to him. Instead of giving him my time after work, I lied to him and told him I want to rest but I was really with my friends partying. He saw me a lot of times when I told him I was asleep but I am not. Still, he forgave me. I can still remember the times he cried in front of me asking me what's wrong with him or what's missing in him. I felt so guilty during those times but I was not changed at all. I kept doing the things that hurt him.
Though I changed a lot, still he loved me and his treatment towards me did not change because he said maybe one day, I will get back to the old me and we will be fine again. Honestly, I really tried because I don't want to hurt him more. But the the temptations were too strong which made me deviate to what we planned. I was lost because I chose to be carried away with temptations and fun with friends without realizing that these moments don't last forever.
I chose my friends over Steve. I will never forget the day when Steve let me choose him even just for one time but then I chose my friends. I chose to go with my friends leaving Steve behind and he was waiting for me at the street until dawn. Can you imagine how bad I was before?
After that, he forgave me again and thought I will change. His treatment was still the same -- caring and loving. He never failed to give me food after my shift and took care of me when I felt tired of work. But then the same thing happened again which made Steve so broken. He questioned his worth because of what I did. He felt that he was so small and useless.
That's why I decided to let him go because being with me hurts him a lot. He still doesn't want to end the relationship and kept on reaching out. I was so heartless during those times so I blocked him in every means he can reach me.
I know he was so hurt and I know he's been drinking every night just to ease the pain but I just ignored the realization. Our common friends told me that he's not doing well but I don't mind it that time. It's better for him to be that way because I know he can move on one day.
After a month being away with him, I started to miss him. I started to miss the things we used to do. Our escapades, our dinner dates, his jokes, the foods we shared, his love and the way he takes care of me. I miss everything about him. But I realized I am not in the position to reach out to him. I can see that he has moved on. I saw pictures of him smiling and being happy with friends and family.
I have this urge to chat/text him but I am afraid what response I will get. I'm too shy because of what I've done.
I feel lonely without him and I think this is my karma for not loving him the way he deserves when he's still with me.
If this is the price I pay for everything, I have no choice but to accept since it's my fault.
I deserve this sadness. Karma really works.
**And now I'm lost.**
*Sorry for being emotional. I just want to let go some of the baggages I carry everyday.*
*Any advice or violent reaction is welcome.*
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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How come we don't break? We bend.
Today's pandemic has made people invent their own way of earning by just staying at home. Our safety is our top priority but being safe without nothing to eat can't make us alive. The government has implemented series of lockdowns which made the poor became poorer and almost have nothing to eat for the reason that we all can't go out. Well, except for those who are frontliners. With this reason, some of us disobeyed the law and went out to find any means to bring food on the table. I can't blame them because hunger is so hard to neglect especially if we see kids crying because of rumbling stomach. Good for those families who have the abundance of life because they won't worry a lot compared to the poor ones. There is a support provide by the government which is giving of the relief goods but then those can't suffice the consumption for one week. Consequently, many poor families who again chose to risk their safety going out to earn just for the family. Who wouldn't?
These trying times transform people into the best they can be. Why did I say so? It's because we find ways to earn despite the limitations we have. The situation we are in doesn't allow us to go around and continue working as the virus spreads fast if we don't keep distance. Yes, it's a must to keep ourselves safe. But, as what some say, we won't die because of the Covid-19. We will die out of hunger.
The outside world is dangerous but staying inside of our home and starve is like killing ourselves softly.
Because us, humans adapt to every situation we are in, we searched for ways on how to earn. Some of us went on online business. As we can see, online business nowadays are top hits especially foods and snack. I have this cousin who sells kimchi online and her products are always sold-out. She will post pictures of her kimchi on Facebook but she made sure that the photos look beautiful and can make the customer's mouth water. Personally, I was also convinced to buy because of how it looked like in the photos. Moreover, editing and other enhancing technique must be done when you are selling online because the customers will only see the photos.
After my cousin posted the photos, customers will reach out to her through commenting on the posts or through direct message and then she will deliver the kimchi to the buyers' place. I can tell that she has gain something big on it since her kimchi was always a hit to the people in here. Of course, my cousin also followed safety protocols when she made and delivered the kimchi.
I think this pandemic has made the people in our place to get hungry and crave for something cold and fried. In our town, when the quarantine was lifted, the municipal mayor has given the locals place/stalls for them to have a business wherein they have to pay $1.00 per day as rent. This is not a big deal since foods and snacks there are always sold-out as well. We call this place the Felicity Dream Square. Each stall has different food, snacks, and drinks to offer. The common goods there are barbecues, fried food, snacks like pizza, hamburger, fries, chips. They also have fruit shakes, milk teas, siomai, and other refreshing drinks. Beers are allowed too but the customers should ensure to drink moderately for there are policemen guarding the surrounding. Every Friday, there will be live band as well making the place livelier with different night lights. No need to worry for the people who will go there can't go through if they are not wearing mask and not keeping the proper distancing. I have been there once and I plan to visit again with friends.
Some of my friends are also selling trendy clothes online which is also a good business. Well, we have a lot of physical stores here but I think online selling is way better since most of the people prefer buying online and just wait for the item to be delivered. I have my neighbor here whose having an online business of ukay-ukay (preloved clothes). She handpicks everything she sells that's why the quality is nice. Since it's preloved, she will fix everything that needs fixing like missing buttons and loose threads. After that, she will have it in laundry to clean the clothes and iron them to look presentable and ready to wear. Then, she will wear it or place the clothes in the mannequin stand so the clothes will have their perfect fit, ready to be captured.
When editing is done, she will post it on her Facebook Page and everything will be sold-out within the day. Her clothes are also affordable that's why the customers love to buy.
I realized that these things are the new normal for we can't go back to normal. Instead of lurking in the corner and waiting for the pandemic to end, let's use our creativity and resourcefulness to sustain our needs. There are a lot of ways to earn only if we are willing and industrious. In order for us to not break in the situation, let's learn how to bend.
Note: Our safety is our top priority so don't forget to have enough rest daily and eat healthy foods. Let's be clean all the time. Don't forget to wear face mask and sanitize hands.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Shout out to Mareng @ExpertWritter for being one of my sponsors and to madam @Bloghound for renewing her sponsorship. 🎉
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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The One That Got Away
https://youtu.be/Ahha3Cqe_fk
*Not all people we met are forgotten and not all people we met will stay. Some are just destined to give us memories.*
There will always be someone who we can't forget though many years have passed. Someone who came into our lives unexpectedly and swiftly left bringing a piece of our heart with them. We don't want them to leave but we have no choice but to let them go. We can't be selfish at all times for the the world doesn't revolve only for us. Because of that, it's better to let go and carry on than to dwell in the situation we cannot replay or go back.
I met someone on Facebook last year. He added me as one of his friends but I just ignored the request for I have a boyfriend that time. I guess I ignored his friend request for one week. I didn't even bother to look at his profile pic and visit his timeline for inspection. I was busy that time too because I was applying for a job as an EFL/ESL teacher. Also, my boyfriend and I that time were just in the initial stage of the relationship so my attention and free time were spent talking to him though Skype and Messenger. I did not think of another man aside from him because he helped me in many ways he can though he's far away. He supported me all throughout the process of my application and even sent me funds to spend for the requirements. That is why during those times, my focus were to get hired and to be faithful with my supportive boyfriend.
My friend here @Murakamii.7 was hired few days ahead of me. She was there teaching already and I was just on the process of having my demonstration teaching and onboarding. I really wanted to get the job so I got all the requirements and went through all the process. Fortunately, I passed the initial interview and the Final Demo. After, I was again scheduled to have my onboarding at 7:30 PM. My schedule was on Sunday that's why Murakamii went to their home. Oh, by the way, the workplace is far from our home like you need to travel for 45 minutes to reach it. Because of that, I need to stay in Murakamii's boarding house after my onboarding. She was not there so I slept there alone since the onboarding was done at 9:30 PM. Meaning, there were no vehicles to take me home. I don't want to travel at night too especially if I am alone. I can't imagine riding on a bus, or in any vehicle and I am the only passenger.
When I was at the boarding house, I felt uneasy and a little bit scared for I was the only one there knowing that there were lots of rooms next to mine and I was at the second floor. Suddenly, the rain poured heavily and the lights were out. My heart was pounding fast unlike the usual. I grabbed my phone and talked to my boyfriend. He tried to calm me down by saying I should go to sleep so I will not think of anything. I don't want to bother him too for it's late night already. I told him I will try to sleep.
I wasn't able to do so so I grabbed my phone again and scrolled on Facebook. I also opened my Messenger to message some friends who can get me there but they're all asleep. I went back on Facebook and I mistakenly tapped the friend requests button. I saw again the friend request that I ignored. Let's just call him Chevas. I don't know what got into me but I clicked on his profile and looked at his photos. He looked neat and handsome so I accepted the request. After a while, he messaged me. He introduced himself and ask for my name as well. It's nice to talk to him because he's professional and cute too. Our conversation went well and I discovered he was just away from where I was staying. I told Chevas that I was stuck in the boarding house because it's late already. He offered me a ride to our home but I refused because he might think I am easy to get. Lol.
That's the start of our friendship. I also got hired in the job I applied so I stayed in the boardinghouse where Murakamii was. My boyfriend was so happy too!
I and Chevas also went on with our friendship. We talked on Messenger everyday and after 2 weeks, we decided to meet each other knowing that our place was just near from theirs. I agreed too because we are friends and there's nothing wrong with it. During our first meeting, he brought fruits for me because he remembered I like fruits. We talked and got comfortable with each other instantly. He told me his job and I learned that he just went on a quarantine because he was in Manila working but because of the lockdown, he lost his job and came home. He also told me that he was applying for a job in Qatar as an Electrical Engineer and just waiting for a call. I did not mind it that time.
We also planned to sing in a karaoke that time but I need to go for I have classes.
After that meeting, he started to update me everything. I got used to talking to him too. I remember the days when I got sad because Chevas did not message me and Murakamii was there to tease me. Lol.
I know it was some kind of cheating but I let myself carried away with it. Our first meeting was followed by more meet-ups which made us to be more comfortable with each other. As we go somewhere, I did not notice that he's already holding my hand.
Being with him made me realize that he is a man with dreams and he doesn't play with woman's heart. I know he believed that I don't have a boyfriend since I am hanging out with him and I didn't tell him too.
One day, he told me he will leave tomorrow. I was shocked and eventually believed that it was all a prank. I planned on inviting him on my birthday so I told him about it which he refused because he's leaving tomorrow and my birthday was still 3 days away. In short, he can't make it. I don't know but I felt really sad. I did not know that he will leave this impact to me.
He asked me if we can meet before he leaves and so I agreed and brought my friends with me. We talked about his plans and confirmed that it's not a joke. He will leave the country tomorrow and fly to Qatar. He told me if I can wait for him for three years. I felt guilty for not telling the truth so I told him about my boyfriend. But still, he hoped for "us" when he comes back.
The day he went away was my saddest day during that time. I got used to his presence and the way we talked. We still message each other though but not the same as before for he respects my boyfriend. He also video calls me whenever he's free. After all this time, I realized that he was the man I want but can't have. We met in a wrong time. I have all these what ifs and if only in my mind.
What if we give each other a chance?
What if we are together now?
If only I was not taken that time then I could give him the love he wants.
If only...
I know I was wrong for feeling that way before. I betrayed my boyfriend and somewhat lied to Chevas as well. But the good thing is, our relationship did not get any deeper and we cut the intimacy and chose to be just friends. I can say that he's the one that got away.
Chevas now is doing good in Qatar as I see from his posts and stories on Facebook. He now has two years to go and then he will come back. He also have a girlfriend just recently. I wish him all the best in life and hoping we can meet each other soon and just laugh with the memories we created.
I want to forget him but I can't because I keep on seeing Wilbert Ross' Tiktok vidoes on Facebook. 😂 Chevas looks like him.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Shout out to @Amy05 and @Jher0122 for renewing their sponsorship. Same goes to @Murakamii.7 , @iamanobody and @Niazi420 for being my new sponsors! God bless you all a hundred folds! 💚
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is edited from Canva`
`Final photo is from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
I am not ready...yet
If you were to be asked, are you ready for everything that might get to you? What if tomorrow, you'll be kicked out from work? What if the other day you are not as efficient as you are today? What if you will wake up one day and feel like you're unhappy and you can't redeem yourself from the devouring sadness? Are you prepared how to conquer them?
*Are we really ready all the time? Because if I were to be asked, I am not ready....yet.*
They said it's our responsibility to be prepared for we don't know what happens tomorrow. Yes, that's right. That's the best thing we can do as humans because we cannot predict what's in our tomorrow nor decide what we can be when that time comes. What if tomorrow never comes? Can you sleep with all your might knowing that you can't wake up the next day? Perhaps you will spend your remaining time thinking how to mend those faults you did to your parents and to people around you. Your time is limited and so you get going to fix everything because we thought that would make us at peace and it's our gate pass to what we called heaven. What do you think? Because for me, the days we are living and how we spent them are the real bases of what we truly are. Our last moment here on earth can't save us. Moreover, let us live everyday being kind to every creature and live with what we called humanity.
If tomorrow never comes,
are you ready? Because I am not ready...yet. **Not ready** because I know there are many things I should do and **yet** because I know I will be ready someday. I must be.
My family also needs me and leaving them behind knowing they're not in the state I want them to be is disappointment. I don't want to bring disappointment with me in the afterlife.
One thing that I am not ready with is having my own family. I mean, I am okay with having a partner living with me but having a child I need to take care of, I don't know. I can't imagine myself walking in the street carrying a child and my friends would greet me and ask how did it happen. I hate being questioned and I hate explaining.
Ever since, I didn't think of having a child not until I reach 30. My plan is to have a child at 30 but some say it would be hard for me to bear a child with that age. They are right but I have my own plans. They can suggest but not to the point that they sound like correcting. I am open to suggestions. I just don't want anyone to make feel like my decisions are poor and I need to follow what's theirs.
I am not yet prepared to give up my single life. I mean I still do want to earn and travel with friends, to go with different restaurants, meet different people, go to different parties and get drunk or wasted. I still want to be with friends rather than to stay home and build my own.
My family still needs me as well. I can tell my grandma and grandpa doesn't want me to have a family yet or maybe they don't want me to get married. My grandma used to tell me before that I should not get married because life would be different when I'm already in it. She said I could get old fast because I have lots of things to think of -- the food, bills, my husband's vices if there will be any, kids and the household. My grandma is right but I think she just told me those because she doesn't want me live separately from them. She's not yet ready to see me build my own family when ours dreams are not yet realized. My grandpa thinks of that too. One time we had an argument about my boyfriend because my grandpa doesn't like seeing me so close with him. When my boyfriend was away, he confronted me if I want to get married already with his voice in a high tone. Of course, I got angry with the way he approached me and so we had an argument which led me not to talk with him for a year.
I just realized that my grandparents are not ready and so am I too.
**But what if one day God bestow me things I am not yet ready with? Would I be able to manage?**
**I am not sure but all I can say is, I am not ready...yet.**
**How about you? What if your fears will be right in front of you when you wake up? Are you ready to face the things that you're not yet ready with?**
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is edited from Canva`
`Photos are from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
We had a visitor at 12 midnight
Last night after I scrolled and read articles on read.cash, I decided to sleep early. I guess it was about 9 PM. For me, that's the earliest time that I set for my sleeping time. Mostly, I sleep between 12 AM to 1 AM. I don't know but overthinking makes me sleep so late at night. Oopss! Was it still night? Nah, it's morning already. I know it's unhealthy but what can I do? I can't avoid overthinking at night. But I do find ways in order to divert my attention to something. Sometimes, I continue reading the book of 'The Count of Monte Cristo' by Alexandre Dumas. It's almost one year since I started reading this and up until now, I am still not reaching half of the book. I guess the old English and French terms make it so hard for me to push through.
Sometimes, I also tried listening to music to attract the sweetest slumber but then it's very unlikely that I will get to sleep when the music is on. I can't because my mind also sings with the song's lyrics. So I ended up putting the music on pause. Why? It worked on me last year but now, I don't know. I am very different from what I was before.
There were also nights when I decided to just scroll Facebook with high expectations that I will get sleepy eventually. But this made me a zombie for I didn't notice what's the time was. When I looked at the time, it's already 3 AM.
I don't know why. I haven't skipped drinking milk every night but why do I find it so hard to sleep at night these days?
I don't want to do this because I know my health will be affected greatly so I devised another plan for me to sleep early. Last night, I turned off my phone at 9 PM so I won't have any distraction when I try to close my eyes. My bathroom trips also made it hard for me to sleep. Fortunately, after several times of changing sleep positions, finally I was asleep.
Meanwhile, I felt someone's moving and I saw a flashlight in the dining area. Our room is near to it so I can see the light's reflection. I just ignored it and continued to sleep but what I heard made me not to sleep again. My boyfriend turned on the light because he stepped on a snake. The snake immediately went under the cabinet and hid there. He called his dad to help him get rid with the snake and that's when I rose from bed despite my sleep.
I turned on my phone and saw the time. It's 12 AM. Oh my goodness! That was the first time I slept early this month but this snake is messing with me. What's even worse is that snake almost get in the room where I was sleeping and if that happens, I can't notice it there and then because the lights are off and I was in the middle of a deep sleep.
I am so blessed my boyfriend was there and he went to the comfort room to pee. If not, that snake will really enter our room and who knows what can it do. With that, I thank God for another life.
Going back to the snake, I am sorry to let you know that it has been killed. My boyfriend killed the snake using an axe. Everyone was afraid of it and we can't go back to sleep knowing the snake is still there. They said it's not a harmful snake but duh? It's still a snake and am afraid of snakes. Knowing that the snake almost get in our room, I didn't go back to sleep and I spent the remaining hours overthinking again. I don't know how I got back to sleep but as I woke up this morning, my head was so heavy and my body was exhausted because of lack of sleep.
Oh my! I want my friends to visit me at home. I want to have visitors in here. But not a snake. I would prefer to get visited by a snake friend because I know how to attack but this kind of snake, no. This would attack without me knowing.
We really had a visitor at 12 midnight.
Who was your visitor last night?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Images taken from Unsplash.com`
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The Filipino Way
Most of the Filipino families are very much particular when it comes to celebrating death anniversaries. Death anniversary celebration is like a family gathering/reunion to some Filipinos.
The oldies will call the relatives who are away to pledge for something. The kids are also excited because they will see their cousins after a long time. This could also be the time when families or relatives from abroad or anywhere around will come home just to be in the celebration. This somehow ties a strong bond between the family. I find it funny sometimes because death anniversary is celebrated and prepared for compared to birthdays. Yeah, there are really families who celebrate it that way.
It goes without saying that most Filipino families enjoy celebrating special holiday, big or little. Even if mountains of dishes/used plates await us after the celebration, we find it very enjoyable to spend the days with our families/relatives. If there's no food, it isn't a party. 😉
Death anniversary is celebrated to commemorate someone in the family who's been in paradise. They may be long gone but their memories still live. This is one way of remembering them despite their passing. And we also believe that as we celebrate, the lost loved one is also celebrating with us.
Yesterday was the death anniversary of my boyfriend's grandmother. I was not able to publish an article too because I was carried away with the moment. Everybody was busy preparing for the food and I can't just stay in the room and do nothing. Early in the morning, we went to the market to buy everything needed. I also bought all-purpose cream, condensed milk, gelatin powder, mangoes and cheese because I pledge to make Mango Tapioca. My biggest mistake was I forgot to take pictures yesterday. https://www.lutongpinoyrecipe.com/desserts/mango-tapioca/
My boyfriend's mom is not much into cooking. I observed that she doesn't like cooking and would end up buying cooked meals so she's not there so active in preparing the food. My boyfriend's aunties just do the cooking. They cooked lumpiang shanghai, menudo, pansit, and made kinilaw. My mango tapioca is the dessert. I don't know if you're all familiar with these foods so I just attached the links there so you can see how they look like. They are the common foods we cooked during celebrations. https://images.app.goo.gl/v9Y7LJiWwbmyYUpPA https://panlasangpinoy.com/pork-menudo-recipe/ https://images.app.goo.gl/mAEeFUgFR1og1jJN8 https://images.app.goo.gl/abcuFYBANFr2wrxy8
The cooking and all were done at around 12 PM so everyone gathered to eat lunch. Lunch without talking is not possible here. Some said that talking when mouth is full is inappropriate. Well sorry to those who said that because it's not practiced in here. My boyfriend's aunties and his cousins are very much lively and like to talk all the time. That's why I don't feel I am out of place when they're around. I think it's already 30 minutes and everyone was not done eating. One of the aunties advised that we must finish our food since we will go to the cemetery.
Yes, celebrating death anniversary would not be complete without visiting the loved one in the cemetery. Well if you're too away, you can still offer a prayer. We prayed there and then after, we headed back home home to prepare again for dinner.
There are still foods left so the rest were just heated. Additional foods were grilled fish and meat and chicken soup. After dinner, karaoke was on and drinks are served. The aunties and the uncles enjoyed singing old songs and the younger ones drank beer. They're so happy.
I celebrated with them too but I didn't sing. I'm still shy to show my talent in singing 😂. I just observed them so I know how to approach them. Yes, as I said, I do like to know more about my boyfriend's family. In case if there's complication, I would know right away. It's better than getting into the next level of the relationship and you'll realize there are things that don't favor you. It's kinda late because you already went to the next level but you can still withdraw. However, the process is not that easy.
When everyone was satisfied with the drinks, we took a rest and I think we ended the celebration at 9 PM or else we can disturb neighbors.
That's it. That's how they celebrated death anniversary here. We also have our version, my family's side but I will tell it in a different article.
How about you and your family? How do you celebrate death anniversary of a loved one?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Images taken from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
The Child I Want
*(Note: I am not questioning anyone's parenting style. I am just stating my parenting preferences.)*
At the age of 23, I am now thinking if I really want to have a child or not. For sure, I do want to have my own family but not a child. Hmm, can we really call it a family if there's no kid around the house? I'm not sure about it though. What I am sure of is that raising a child is hard and I don't think I can manage having one. My mom has 5 children already including me as the eldest. Good for her because the three of us are living with grandma. That means she was not the one who took care of us three and spent sleepless nights to babysit us.
Currently, my mom has 2 sons (my brothers). One is 10 years old and the other is 5 years old. They live separately with us since my mom already has her husband to be -- the father of the two kids. Sometimes, they visit in our house and have lunch or dinner together. During the first hour, my little brothers are behaved but after that first hour, they start to become naughty and noisy. They run around the house and my dogs start to bark. My dogs are moody and they don't want noise around. As a result, there will be noise from the kids and from my dogs which is super annoying.
After a while of playing together, the younger brother cries and doesn't want to play anymore but the older brother keeps on teasing which will make the noise too loud and unbearable. I try to call their names but they're not listening. I scold them and they listen for a few minutes and behave. After, the behavior gets back again. I told their mom to do something because the noise is too much already. Still, they don't listen. I was thinking why my brothers don't listen. At their age, they should learn how to obey their parents when they are called-out. While they are still young, it's good to train them how to behave properly so they can bring the attitude when they grow up. As the saying goes, it's better to cut the horn while they're still new and soft.
Here in my boyfriend's place, there are also a lot of kids, toddlers. Most of them listen when they are being corrected. But then there's this one kid who is so spoiled. I shouldn't be taking it as my problem because I am not the one who's attending the kid. I tried many times to ignore but his bad behavior really gets my attention. The kid is just 3 years old but he's acting like he's the King of all. Everything he wants, he gets because his mother would provide. Well, I can't blame the mother for doing so because if she won't give what her son wants, he will cry non-stop, so loud. There was one time when the mother tried to ignore her son which made the son to run, cross the street and almost got hit by a motorbike. Oh my! What an attitude. I believe kids really are hard to deal with sometimes and we need patience but this kid is too much. He won't ever listen to his parents.
I am also thinking his mother also has something to do with the bad attitude. She tolerates her son so much. Even when it's her son's fault, she would put the blame on the playmates.
She also doesn't want her son to get disciplined by his own father because she thinks the father's way is not proper. The mother would also allow her son to practice what's not right like going inside his aunt's store and get everything he likes there. The mother would just say, 'tell your aunt to give you that' instead of correcting him. That's why the son repeats the behavior.
I know I am not in the position to judge but I just can't ignore my realizations. These made me realize that I don't want to have a child. But, we don't know what might happen so just in case I will have one, I will make sure to give the right discipline.
The Child I Want
I want my child to learn at an early age that not everything he wants, he gets. If he cries, then I will let him. After all, he will just stop if he's tired. In this way, he will realize that crying is not the solution to get what he wants. When he's done crying, it's time to talk to him and make him understand the value of patience in simple words.
I want my child to understand that bad behavior is not accepted in all situations. His bad behavior will not be tolerated. By saying this to him everyday, he will always remember it in mind. Remember a child's mind is 'Tabula Rasa' which means an empty sheet. When filling in that sheet, make sure to instill good ones. This was claimed by John Locke.
I also want my child to practice the attitude of talking nice to everyone. I don't want my child to be rude and would say unwanted words like these kids in here. At a young age, they know how to talk back rudely.
I want my child to learn how to wait and respect. I won't give him what he wants unless it's reasonable. And if he wants something, he should learn how to wait before he can get it. After all, they're all wants and not the needs.
Lastly, I want my child to be kind to all creatures.
I know it will not be easy. Actually there's no easy way when it comes to parenting. If only there's a course in parenting which I can enrol, I would take the course so I can be the best parent to my child. But unfortunately, there is none so disciplining kids solely depends on the parents. There's no perfect parents as well as a perfect child but that doesn't make an excuse for us to just tolerate bad behavior.
I am not yet a parent. Just in case, you know. 😁
Let me hear your side too!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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Ciao! ❤️
How do you wash your clothes?
I want to write something light today. Yung parang wala lang, good vibes lang. I want to get rid of my emotional hormones as well because I'm tired of being too emotional and dramatic these past few days. To get rid of stress, I went straight to the laundry area and started doing the laundry right after I finish my breakfast. I also didn't mind the people around me here. I just did my own thing without worrying they might have something to say because I know, they sill still have whether if I do good or bad. I don't want to pretend I am friendly when I am not. What's more important is that me and my man are okay already.
Okay, let's get straight to what I wanted to write.
We do have different ways of washing our clothes. Some might prefer doing it hand washed, and some do it with the help of washing machine. I am fine with both. When our washing machine was out (we sold it in a junk shop since it has stopped functioning and fixing it would cost much), we went back to hand washing. I find handwashing an enjoyable one. Though it's time consuming, it's still satisfying knowing that you clean the clothes with your own hands.
I have also tried washing my clothes at the river, just a small one. It's my first time actually and that happened in my boyfriend's place. The water seldom run through their water pipeline. I don't know the reason why but most of the homes their don't have water. So when it comes to washing their clothes, they would go the river and do the laundry there. It's so fun since you're not doing the laundry alone. There are a lot of moms in there and they can teach you how to wash your clothes using that wood. I don't know what's the English term of it. Basta yung pinapalo palo sa damit. Na picture out nyo ba? Saya no.
But mostly, I prefer to wash my clothes at home with the use of washing machine. It's very efficient and would not consume much time. Alright, let me tell you the ways. You can share yours too!
How do I wash my clothes?
**First, I separate the white from the colored ones.** You don't want your white clothes to get stained by the colored ones, right? So better separate them first. I also separate the jeans from the normal cloth.
**Second, I wash them with water (malamang haha) and gently rub using both hands, basta kusutin** 😂.
**Third, squeeze them to get off the water.**
**Fourth, clean the washing machine first and fill it with water depending on the clothes (number of clothes).** Then add powder and mix. I prefer Ariel Powder Detergent because I feel like it cleans better than the rest of the detergents. The scent is also mild and not like the type of scent which can irritate your nose. https://www.ariel.in/en-in/shop/by-type/washing-powder
**Fifth, I put the white clothes first in the machine and set the timer to 15 minutes.** When the timer stops, it's time get the clean clothes then put the 2nd up to the last batch of clothes until all the clothes are completely clean.
**Sixth, wash and rub them thoroughly using both hands to wash off the remaining detergents**. I usually do three rounds of rinsing to get off with the detergent and dirt. After, squeeze them to get off the water from the clothes.
**Seventh, prepare the basin with water and the fabric conditioner.** I prefer the Downy Garden Bloom for this. I just love how it makes your clothes soft and fragrant. The scent is also not that strong unlike those heavily-scented fabcon that can sometimes make me nauseous. https://www.google.com/amp/s/shopee.ph/amp/Downy-Garden-Bloom-Laundry-Fabric-Conditioner-Refill-(670mL)-i.98477970.7203394824
Mix one tablespoon of fabcon with a cup of water then pour the mixture to the basin filled with water (half of the basin). The amount of fabcon depends on you. But remember to not put too much don't pour it directly to the clothes. I also add 2 tablespoons of venigar. Why? You can research it. ☺️
Leave the clothes in the solution for 1 minute.
**Lasty, I drain away the clothes and hang them.** Sometimes, I use dryer when it's raining. When the clothes are already dry, you will be amazed with the scent and how the venigar works. 😉
Tada! These are my ways of washing my clothes. How about you?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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Ciao! ❤️
I never knew that food will make it better
Realizations from my quick drama yesterday.
Despite the hurt and anger, everything will get back to normal with just one touch. And I admit, I was moved by that single touch. My mind has been telling my heart not to give in with the feeling. I am mad and I should remain as it is as long as I want and as long as I don't see any change in behavior. I wasn't expecting a sorry because I hate hearing apologies. I would rather appreciate changed behavior without hearing a sorry. It's much better. Actions over words.
But then my heart can't afford seeing someone talk to me without talking to them back. I just realized that I can't ignore someone I know who cares. Because of over thinking I disregard their true intention which is only for my own good. I created boundaries that wasn't supposed to be built in the first place. And that made the people around me change direction instead of going towards me.
Sometimes we feel like we are alone but the truth is, it's just us who think that way. Yes, they are right. To rest is all we need. Breath and let go of the thoughts that slowly killing your peace. If you feel like the people around don't favor you, learn the act of not giving care. If the people you are with seem to disagree with what you believe, just don't argue and let them think what they want. Stand on what you firmly believe. You, or some of us not being liked by everyone is normal. We cannot please everyone by showing them how good we are.
This is why I choose not to consider everything my problem and not everything has something to do about me.
Today, I am also delighted because my recent article got positive feedbacks and the comments there are all uplifting. I never knew that I will meet friends here who are willing to help and empathize with me. Read.cash has been a blessing for me, and for everyone. Earning is such a big help but gaining friends is beyond blessing. That's why I gain my motivation back and stay optimistic at life.
This afternoon, it rained as well making my soul renewed. My anger and frustration were washed away by the rain as it poured. I found goodness in everything. I thank the rain for giving me peace of mind.
After the rain, my boyfriend asked me out. I don't know why or where we're going but he forced me to get dressed. I also felt guilt because I haven't talked to him since yesterday. He did all his best so everything between us would go back to normal but I refused to reconcile. I thought he already lose his temper that's why he's not also talking. But this afternoon, he talked to me. My heart softened as he looked at me so I just get dressed and go with him. He brought me to the restaurant and ordered food I like to eat. He even ordered cupcakes for me. I don't know but seeing those food makes my anger go away.
Perhaps I was just being paranoid these days because I crave for something and I haven't realized that. I did not notice that I was smiling and talking to him gladly while I am eating.
I never knew that food will make it better.
I never knew that food will make me better.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is edited from Canva`
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Ciao! ❤️
Let's meet again for the first time
*Let's go back in time when we both feel magic.*
*Let's go back to those days when we feel the excitement everytime our hands met and every inch of us come close.*
*Let's go back to the days when we wish to be nights so we can see each other until midnight.*
*Let's go back to those nights when we both are drunk with the beers and sweet words.*
*Let's see each other again like it was the first time. The first time when you fixed your gaze at me as I am to you. And there's no one else we can see.*
**Let's meet again for the first time.**
What is this I'm feeling? I can't explain. Sometimes I feel love and sometimes I don't. Is it because I over think too much or because I just fell out of love, again? But if I fell out of love, was there really love at all? They said if you're in love, you will never get tired of that person. Well, I'm not tired yet. I just feel like my feelings have changed over time. It's not the usual feeling I have for him.
These days I really don't understand what I'm going through. I'm shutting my doors to everyone yet I long for comfort. I need someone to reach me out but I don't want anyone to come close and see how down I am.
Being in the room with one person I love and not talking to each other for a day is peace for me. But why do I feel sad if that's the peace I want? Why do I over think that maybe love is gone. And if there's something left, it's just respect. Respect because we already started everything and none of us would dare to talk about ending. Perhaps, we're just waiting for each other to start the conversation.
There are times love is alive. Those are the times when his touch gives me the feeling. The kind of feeling that's telling me I'm important and I matter. He doesn't know how to show his love through words and that's the reason why I misunderstood his language. He's also not the type of person who's expressive both in words and actions. So how can I say if love is still there?
Before, when the relationship was new, everything was perfect. Everyday is a perfect day. No problems, no arguments and conflicts. It feels like I own his world and mine was his. I can't forget one of my exes told me that I am just happy and in love because it's just the start of the relationship and after that first romantic stage, everything expires. He even said he wished that this man can love me the way he did. (I can still remember his pain when he told me this).
What can I do? I was still lost in love during that time and I also lost my mind to think if I'm doing everything right. I just go with the flow of love and left behind the man who does everything for me. Yeah, you can say I haven't move on yet. I'm also feeling the same.
I know this is my choice but why do I feel lonely after choosing this path? Am I the problem? Maybe. This is the reason why I want to go back in time. To feel the love again and make myself believe that there's still love left in me.
If it's possible, can we meet each other again for the first time?
I am thinking too much. Sorry. Lol.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is edited from Canva`
`Photo taken from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
The flowers are watered
Yes! At last! Today, the flowers are watered. After a month of drought, the rain has finally visited. It was not as hard as I expected but at least, I felt the coldness just for a while and slept without the faucet-like-sweat. I wish for the rain to stay longer but he left already after two hours. I guess he's so selfish of his time. He doesn't want to spend more time with me. Oh well, fine then.
I don't know but I found joy in rain. These days I was so restless because I can't beat the heat. I don't like sunny days because the heat from the sun these days are too much unlike before. Even if it's still 7 AM, the heat is unbearable. I want to have a walk outside during mornings but then the heat changed my mood so I just stayed inside and open read.cash. I guess this is also the reason why my head feels heavy and my body seems so tired. I lack exercise.
At around 12 PM, the rain started to pour little by little that I prayed it would rain hard so I can enjoy the view outside. I found it so beautiful when I see the ground getting soaked by the rain and how the splashes bounce back. I also like to listen to the sound of the rain when it hit our roof. The sound is like music that whispers telling me I should sleep and have a nice slumber. I also like to see some kids jumping in the puddles and chasing with each other under the rain. I was once one of them. When it starts to rain, I would ask permission to grandma if I can join my playmates in the rain. Sometimes she would say no, but most of the time, she allows me because she doesn't want to hear loud cries at home.
I am also addicted to the coldness that rain brought. It gives me comfort and making me feel good like I've been sick and the rain is my cure. Even if the coldness is up, I will still choose to be in bed without the covers because I want to cherish the feeling. It's also nice when you bring coffee, tea or your favorite chocolate milk drink with you. The feeling is so satisfying when you're watching the rain pouring and at the same time, having a sip of your favorite drink. Others also like to binge-watch their favorite movies or K-drama series with their favorite snacks. I also like doing this before during high school and college days. Whenever it rained, I used to tell grandma that I don't want to go to school because the rain doesn't make me feel well. She would just agree and after a while, she would prepare my favorite 'champorado' paired with loaf bread.
Lastly, I want to see the flowers getting soaked by the refreshing rain. It's just so satisfying to watch. If only I have a nice quality camera, I will take a snap shot or even take a video of the scene, having it in slow motion. I don't know but, it gives me warm fuzzy seeing the flowers being alive with the rain. The rain also makes their color vibrant.
I believe these flowers are just like us, waiting for something to make us alive. Well, we don't want to depend on others but there's just a time when we need something or someone to make us complete for that day. Just like the flowers, we also long for comfort and the rainy days to come.
And today, I am so glad that the flowers are watered.
Sorry for this poorly written article. My migraine is up again and my eyes are hurt if I spend too much time looking at my phone screen. I'm going to make it up tomorrow.
Be blessed!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is edited from Canva`
`Images are taken from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
I don't want to be a nagging wife
I came up to this idea because I know someone, a wife, who constantly nags to her husband. Almost everyday. In my own view, I find it so chaotic when someone keeps on shouting, yelling and nagging me for something I must do. My family knows that. I believe everything can be resolved in peace like you talk calmly so you'll be understood.
Isn't it so tiring when you are always being shouted at? Being yelled at? Because for me, they really are big NO! I become too emotional when someone talks to me loudly like they're shouting and sounds like irritated. My tears would automatically fell down from my eyes that's why I am against nagging.
Alright let's go back to that "wife" I am talking.
Every morning, this wife nags especially to her husband. It seems like everything her husband does is wrong. One time, that wife was sick or maybe just pretending to be sick. Her husband prepared her food and all but then she refused to eat all those just because she doesn't want to. I understand her because being sick made us not want to eat but her approach in refusing the food is not really proper. Even the neighbors can hear her. She told her husband why he bought that and why he cooked it that way. He shouldn't throw it because she won't eat it either. And take note, her tone of voice seemed to provoke argument and so her husband told her if she doesn't like to eat, then she should not get mad and keep her mouth shut because their sons can eat the food.
But then the wife just continued nagging until she's in her room and slammed the door. It's still early in the morning but the vibes in their home is tsk tsk! Not a good one to start the day. And so the husband just went to work without his breakfast.
There was also one time when the wife's son got sick. Instead of giving medicine to her son, she kept on blaming him for what happened. I guess it's normal for moms to be like that. I was hoping the wife will give her son medicines to take but then she didn't. She didn't because she wants her son to pay for the medicine. And I was like, what? Isn't it a responsibility of a mom to take care of her children? Knowing that her son is sick, she could have taken the initiative to provide medicine.
I felt so bad for her son. Her son paid the medicine and so he was able to take some. I thought the nagging would end after paying but then she kept on nagging saying when their sons are sick, she was the one who suffers because she provides the meds. Aisshhh! I know being a mom is tiring but what she's acting isn't understandable.
Everyday, this family doesn't have peace within their home. I seldom hear them so chill in everything. Even their way of talking is shouting. Their sons also got the attitude of being irritated most of the time because that's what they saw in their parents. Their sons also are always in an ignition. Even asking question entails yelling, the tone of voice sounds like irritated. I don't know but hearing and seeing them not in peace is so sad. Our family should be our peace, right?
That's also the reason why the husband was always away from home whenever he doesn't have work. I guess he wanted to escape the chaotic atmosphere at home. He should feel relaxed after work but his wife nags at him telling him he's been hiding money from her. Of course the husband then objected and then the flame was up again. And this morning, the same scene happened again.
I know I'm being too nosy about this wife and her family. Well, I can't avoid it. Their house is so near from us and I can hear everything. Isn't it tiring to nag all the day? How can they become closely-bonded if the parents aren't?
One thing I realized from this family is that I don't want to be like the wife. I don't want to be a nagging wife. I prefer to talk peacefully to resolve the issue rather than yelling. Geez! It would consume much of my energy. I also want to set a good example to my kids and to my neighbors as well.
I want my family to be at peace living in our own home because that's how it's supposed to be.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Images are taken from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
I forgot how to be happy
I don't know what happened to my hormones why I am feeling so down lately. I am not even sure if my hormones have something to do with my mood swings. I just felt like I am lost these days and every person I would rely on doesn't really care about me. I know you have this feeling too sometimes when you think you don't matter to anyone. What's even making it worse is when the people who you consider as your closest and would think of you as someone important, would also turn their backs on you.
I am not counting of the times I helped them but I just find it so unfair. Let me quote a line from the movie I watched earlier. I forgot the title but I do remember the line.
The actor said, "Life isn't fair. Human world is unfair."
And then my pessimist side goes on again. I guess I viewed life that way as what the actor does. Life really is unfair. Some are happy and some are lonely. Other children are in a very good condition while the rest are sleeping on the cold street every night without the comfort of any sheet. Others eat their dinner nicely while the rest need to look for every garbage and see if there's something to eat. Some people are also living healthy while the rest are suffering from illness, even those young ones. Some are also working lightly but got high compensation than the rest who are working under the heat with much effort. Just like the farmers.
Can you not consider it unfair? Because for me this isn't even. Why can we just all be happy and live a life nicely. Why can't we all just have a family who loves us without any condition.
This morning, I received a message from my grandma. I don't know if I interpreted it well but her texts were like saying I should not get married because I still have a lot of responsibilities. She didn't said it that straight but the thought was very clear. My grandma loves me. I know that very well but sometimes, she just doesn't know she's been putting a lot of pressure on me since I was still studying. She's always saying that I should get a job as a teacher, only as a teacher because that's what she wants. And when I am a teacher, I would prioritize the construction of our home and provide them monthly allowance. I talked back to her because she's been counting the eggs already without knowing the chicken would hatch. I told her in a nice way to take it a little slow and to let things go in their own natural course. Everything takes time. I'm still 23 and I can't make it for now. But I didn't said I won't. I just want to give everything time.
The pressure has been the major reason of my anxiety. One time, the night after graduation in College, I again had panic attacks because I've been thinking a lot. I was thinking what my life would be after graduation and if I can pass the Licensure Examination for Teachers. Unknowingly, my body froze and I can't breath again. I tried hard to fight it but then my body can't. I was rushed to the hospital and checked and the doctor found out that there's no complication in my body. What I'm experiencing is a product of anxiety -- fear of the future.
The doctor advised my grandma to not put pressure on me but then my grandma just can't understand the concept of anxiety. She thinks that I'm over reacting and I can control what I am thinking. I made her understand but she can't because she won't and this has been one of our problems. She doesn't know that her dreams build my anxiety. I am not complaining because I am willing to create the dream for them it's just that I needed time for everything.
My grandma's texts got me into thinking again. Why she's always afraid of me not being able to sustain/help them. Am I just born to continue the dream they want but they weren't able to do so? Or am I just here because I was made to do whatever they want me too? I want to do things my way and I let them understand it already. I also hate that they're comparing me to everybody who's successful. I love grandma, my family but sometimes, I just don't understand them. Even if I already let them know what I feel, still the actions are the same. I know I shouldn't rant here but I do want to share everything I felt where I will not be judged.
But hey, don't let the negative vibes in here get to you. Just continue to be happy because you deserve it and I deserve it too. Hoping these emotional side of me ends.
Have a good evening lovelies!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is edited from Canva`
`All photos are taken from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
Simple things, where have you gone?
Lately, I've been missing myself. I miss the old me. If given a chance, I will choose to go back in time when I was happy, enthusiastic and free. In short, I miss the life I had a year ago. It's really true that time flies like a wink of an eye. It goes so fast without us noticing it.
Have you every felt this way? Like you just miss who and what you are a year ago or in any time as long as it's in the past. What are those things you miss doing that you can't do now? And what are those regrets and realizations you have? You can let me know so we can exchange thought. Maybe we can find answers and help each other.
A year ago or shall I say before, I was the type of person who doesn't seem to have problems and if there's any, it doesn't show because I won't let it show too. I just don't want others to see me in my weakest because I know the people around me needs motivation and if I choose to be vulnerable, who would encourage them at life? See it's really good to be strong so you will also radiate that strength to everyone.
And that has become one of my problems.
Being so close to my emotions and pretending everything's fine when it's not. People around me are not used to see me asking for help to anyone financially and emotionally. I just don't want someone or my family to think that I am not fine, and I look so pity. I don't want that. I want to maintain the image of being strong I build for years.
Before, life for me is not that hard since I have work and my work makes me happy. I can remember how excited I was during my first day as an online teacher and also, being with my board mates. I admit that's the most beautiful part of my life a year ago. My job and meeting people who became my close friends. And now that I stopped from working temporarily, I feel like I regret it because I do miss working and having the free life to the place where I stayed in. And when I said free, it means that I live my life my way and I don't have anyone or something to think of as a problem. But now, everything changes. A lot has changed.
And that's when I realized that the simple things I am happy doing before, are nowhere to be found. I hope I can go back in time where I can do all those things before like teaching online, spending my time having late night talks with my board mates and going out at night after my shift.
I tried to be not so dramatic but there are just things that remind of everything about my past.
Today, my boyfriend's cousin celebrates his birthday and we are invited. I really don't want to go because I like to spend my time in read.cash than going out and feeling the heat of the sun. I don't know but too much heat from the surroundings changes my mood from good to bad.
But then I can't refuse since my boyfriend wants us to go and his family wants me to go too because I will be the only one who will be left in the house if ever I won't go. I asked my boyfriend what was the venue of the said birthday and he told me a very familiar place -- a beach. That beach where I have a lot of memories because we've been there many times. He told me why I asked and I just answered nothing. When we arrive there, everything was still the same except for one thing. I am there again in that beach but with a different person.
I just took a snap shot to a certain part of the beach before going out.
Let's just name the beach, "Neo beach". Neo beach is one of the most go to beaches near our place. You can see cottages there that you can rent for $10. I went outside and looked around. The place was still the same but the people are just few in numbers since it's pandemic. Unlike before that all the cottages are occupied and you can meet a lot of people here enjoying their time in the shore. Awwe! I just missed those days. I hope this pandemic will be over soon so we can freely go whenever and wherever we want. It's really nice to get to know other people in next cottages. I did that before when we were here.
I can also remember this place was filled with so much noise before from the children running around because they're playing. But now, it turned into a ghost town like. You can see very few people around. I missed the cries I heard before because the children are begging their parents to buy them ice cream. The parents would also send signals to the ice cream vendor that they won't buy so he will go away but then the vendor won't listen and instead ring the bell loudly making the children cried loudly too.
I also remember the times when me and my cousins would go to the sea and bet who can swim fast. Those were the times when I drank sea water and my eyes turned into a little bit reddish because sea water entered my eyes.
I also miss the times when my friends and me are here too. From morning until evening, we will stay here enjoying our drinks and even rented a karaoke. We don't have worries back then because we were just students and our responsibility is to finish our homeworks, projects, reports and doing exams. Unlike now, after graduating, we would question our existence because we don't have the stable job yet. The pressure is real especially when you are the eldest. You are expected to lift your family from poverty.
These are some of the simple things I missed. I want to go back when life was just simple for me because now, I feel like I am fed up with life. But it doesn't mean I am quitting. I just want to rest for a while. And after given that rest, I will battle life again.
I am sorry if I am too dramatic these days and seem to have complaints about my life. I don't know but I just like to be emotional and I hope this will be over tomorrow.
Please bear with me, friends. I really want to let go of the things that have been stocked for so long in my mind just because I didn't share it to others.
I want to know your side too! Let's talk.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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What if they don't like me?
Being in a relationship entails a lot. You will get to know your partner and his ways to see if you really fit together. If you don't do that, you might regret one day and think you must have known him/her better before going things deep between the two of you. You might fall for your partners words without knowing their core. And the next thing you knew, you are drowning and finding it hard to save yourself. Well, if you're already confident with your partner, you're so blessed and I do hope all the best for you both.
If not, better take your time to spend your time with him/her in such a way you will be able to grasp everything about him as in everything because why not? We don't want to regret in the end.
After that getting to know stage, it's time to elevate things. There will be time when your partner would ask you to attend to their family gathering. You are somewhat excited and you feel important because you matter to your partner but then you also feel worried because there might be a chance your partner's family won't like you. And that's when you will see how your partner loves you. Because if he/she does, he/she will speak up for you and would not allow the family to speak ill about you.
But there are also family who really are compassionate and truly care for you. It's not just because you are their son's/daughter's partner but because you matter and you are a part of the family. Whatever your preferences in life, they would understand and respect that. And that's the type of family I want to be in.
I am the type of girlfriend who is not so open to everyone. I prefer to talk freely to people who knows and understand me well. Currently, I'm in a relationship where I don't feel so open to my partner's parents and I have my reasons for that. I am talkative when I know the people I am talking with like to listen to me too and knows where I am coming from.
I have lived for weeks in my partner's house, I mean in his family's house because they invited me here for me not to pay the rent for a boarding house. I accepted the offer since I want to know my boyfriend well and his family as well. His family is nice but then I had this attitude of being silent when I'm with elders. Sometimes, I can't keep up with their conversation and just chose to be with my phone, browsing on Facebook and reading articles on read.cash.
I didn't know that being silent would create a negative say about me. Is being silent bad? Am I not having the right attitude just because I don't keep up with the conversation? Well, they don't say that to me frankly. It's just my instinct telling me something's not right. And my instinct was right when my boyfriend said,
You should speak more and get along with them. I don't want them to speak bad about you.
And there I realized that there's really something because why did my boyfriend said that? But then I tried to do my best again. I open myself up to them and talk more often. By the way, I am close with my boyfriend's family in some way it's just that I am not into speaking everyday because I am busy thinking and writing about my article. If I will get disturbed, all the ideas would fly away and I wouldn't be able to go back where I left. And so I chose to just stay inside the room.
Being inside the room also created a bad talk about me. I felt it too. And I was right again when my boyfriend said,
Don't just stay here all day. They said, you should go out and sit outside. Try to stroll around.
And that really made me think that what I'm doing here is not in accordance to what they're being used to. That's also the reason why I miss our home where I felt comfortable without watching my moves.
There was also one time I decided to wash the dishes. I was about to do it when suddenly, my boyfriend's mom saw me and told me not to do it. I told her it's fine with me since I was used to washing the dishes at home. But then she insisted to take over and so I just followed. Because of that, I seldom wash the dishes here because they wouldn't let me if they saw me doing it.
One time, my boyfriend's cousin, his aunt and me are talking about pregnancy. I don't know what got into her cousin's mind that she talked about my boyfriend's ex and said that that girl is industrious and always do the household chores. In my mind, I was thinking she was comparing me and her because she sounded like she is. I don't want them to feel I was affected so I just smiled.
In that moment, I realized that you cannot please everybody especially if you are the silent type of person for they might mislabeled you as strict and mean. Well, I am not that silent actually I talked too much when I'm with friends and my family. I started to stay silent when I do feel something's off. But that doesn't mean I'm not trying my best to get closer them. As of now, my boyfriend's family and I were okay. There's just really sometimes which I don't feel like I'm fine in here.
I also realized the cons of living together in one house with your partner's parents. Though we are not married, I do experienced already the feeling of living together with partner's parents. It's not always bad though, there are also good side of it. But, I do prefer to live with our own so we can do things our way without those eyes watching. I am not against those who live with parents. My preference is just different as what you had.
For these reasons, I want to ask my partner,
"What if they don't like me?"
"What if your family won't like me?"
"Would that affect our relationship?"
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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Thank you, I'm sorry
I came into the point in my life where I couldn't move on with the things I did in the past. This isn't me. I am not like this before. My friends always say I am one of the toughest girl they know since they seldom see me cry and get affected with things. But things changed when someone came unexpectedly.
I never thought that this someone can be my karma from all the things I did before to my past relationships. I guess this is God's way of teaching me the lessons in life to appreciate everyone whose intentions are pure. This is also God's way of reminding me to not take people for granted, to not think of just my own advantage.
I have this one special person I can't forget since the day we parted ways. I never really thought that he will leave me this kind of impact because I thought he was just like everyone else that I can easily forget. And I was wrong. We've been together for just a short time but those are the times when I felt so me, my true self. Those are also the times when I felt so much love, genuine love but I didn't realize that not until he was away.
They were right. That you will start appreciating the person when they're no longer around. I want to talk to him so much but I don't have the courage to start a conversation even saying simple "hi." My emotions are still heavy and I want to let them out by writing here. This would be like an open letter for him and I do hope he will be able to read this. I don't know when or in what way but, I will just hope. Who knows this can reach him.
Dear Stevan,
*I did not greet you just to tell you goodbye.*
*My hugs are not meant to make you feel like I left you when I can't be able to do so. I will always hold the promise of not letting you go, even just in my heart and mind and not by my side.*
*We did not made memories just to be forgotten during times when we will not be able to see each other. Though we can't be together, I still value those precious memories we once shared because those are the ones I can only go back for I cannot go back to you.*
*I'm sorry for those times when I lied to you and said I'm busy but then I was with friends though I know you want to spend the days with me because you need to go back at a certain time. I enjoyed being with friends and just left you being alone, waiting and believing and I am not doing any fault in our relationship. One time you saw me with someone and I told you that was just a friend and you believed me because you love me. I should have ended everything wrong and continue to choose the right ones with you.*
*I'm sorry if I said I want to sleep but then I would sneak out without you knowing. One time you came to me and I was still asleep. You woke me up and told me you smell a scent of liquor but then I refused and get mad though it's true. And you were the one who said sorry.*
*We went to a restaurant that time and I forgot to block someone on messenger. Someone sent me a message, a sweet one and you just stayed silent and calm like nothing happened. You gave the phone to me and I saw the message was already read. I told you that message was not for me it's for my board mate and you just nod your head and smiled. After a while, you said,*
*That's just a chat. It's fine but don't let me see the two of you together with my own eyes.*
*But even with those faults I made towards you, you still love me the same everyday. You spoiled me with everything I need especially with love. I promised to myself that I will change but then it turned out that I was just fooling myself. I still made the same mistake. I am so sorry.*
*I wanted to say I missed you, forgive me and don't go but there are things that can't be made again once shattered. There are damages we cannot mend.*
*And so I stepped away but I left a trail of regret because it was me who left and didn't came back.*
*You will always be my favorite milktea and food buddy.*
*You will always be my favorite shopping guide and my dearest driver when I want to go somewhere.*
*You will always be the warmest hug.*
*And if I will never really find my where my heart belongs, I hope God could at least give me someone who can tell me that I still matter despite the pieces of me scattered everywhere. And that my heart is still beating. It's fine if it's not romantic. I don't need someone who can just hold my hands and kiss me. I can live without those. I long for someone who can touch my soul and understand the reason behind my secrets especially my past.*
Because of what I did, I thought I will never be worthy of love. That no one will love me truly. But then I realized I still have my family and above all, I have God with me. The love they have for me is beyond measure and I couldn't ask for more. Love can be found in many ways so don't see it just in one way.
To you out there who thinks you don't deserve love because you've been into failed relationships, do know that God has perfect timing to each of us and His decisions are very much just and right compared to ours.
**"When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen." -- Isiah 60:22**
God's plan for us is unique and wonderful so don't rush. Trust God's timing for the right person is worth the wait.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
You can also reach me at marianovylhyn@gmail.com
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I Should Have Listened To My Grandma
Since I was born, it was my grandma who took care of me. Where's my mom? I don't want to talk about her again. She was the type of mom who just gave birth and leave afterwards. I'm so lucky that she did that because if not, I would live with her and I wouldn't have the life I have now. I am happy to be with my grandma and nothing can change that even if I will be given a chance to choose other options.
See my grandma was the one who make my life possible. I can't count the ways she did for me just to make me live. I wasn't being breastfed by my mom making my grandma bought commercial milk. Some of you here knows that milk for babies are pricy and yes, my grandma seek ways just for us to have milk everytime we cry. My grandma doesn't have work that time but she has been selling snacks like hotcakes, iced candy, cupcakes, softdrinks and donuts. I know her earnings from that is not enough but she managed to give our needs. Yes, OURS. Because my mom got pregnant again and again. As a result, I had my second and third sibling and three of us are in the care of my grandma. Taking care of just one child and providing child's needs is very hard. How much more if there are three? And even just for once, **I never heard her complain about the things she did for us.** All she wants is for us to finish our studies and land a stable job for own future.
**That's why I will do everything to give her the life she deserves after taking care of us. Now that we are grown up, it's time to give back.**
But there were really times when the situation was not in our favor. Sometimes, I and my grandma are having a little argument because it's not always all the time our opinions are in sync. There are things she wants me to follow but then I refused because I want to do things my way as I am discovering life as an adult like a butterfly starting to spread it's wings. She always told me to be like this and to be like that. I don't want to be controlled during those times and so I did not listen.
Little did I know that I am slowly putting myself in a trap as I don't listen her. And now, I can't go out from the trap I made. Well, perhaps I can but I don't know how for now.
She was right when she said,
**Regret doesn't happen in the beginning and so I must be careful of the decisions I make for I cannot go back in time.**
This is the only time that I realized that I should have listened to my grandma.
I should have listened to my grandma when she said:
**Don't spend too much of your time with friends for not all of them will stay/help when you need them.**
I admit I was such a party-goer before and spent my time with friends from day until dawn. When I have my free time at work, I will always go to my friends instead of staying at home and having a great bonding with my sisters. There was also one time when I stayed overnight with my friends without asking permission from her and when I came home in the morning, I did not heard a word from her that she's upset or mad for what I did. Instead, she asked me what I like to eat for breakfast. I was moved and I felt guilt of what I did and so I decided not to go out with friends always.
That doesn't end there. I can't really forget the first time me and my grandma really had an intense argument. It was New Year's day when I went out because my friends invited me to have a drink. I had a great time there with friends drinking and partying the night away that I didn't notice that it's already morning. Meanwhile I saw my mom coming and wants me to go home but I refused and told her she should leave because she's just making a scene and it's not proper to scold me around with many people. But she didn't listen and continued to talk rudely to me including my friends. Sometimes, my grandma really forgot good manners especially when she's angry. She could have remained calm when she told me I should go home so I would be calm as well.
She would not stop talking so I went home and there at home, I lose my respect to her. I answered her back and shouted at her. Why will **she always label my friends as bad influence when in the first place, it was my choice to go with them.** They didn't force me at all. It was my willingness to go and get drunk with them. I explained everything to her but she's just too close-minded. All I want is for her to put the blame on me and not with anybody else.
She also told me that I was acting that way because I am drunk. Yes, I do have the influence of an alcohol that time but I was not drunk. If I was, I wouldn't be able to go home by my own. But she insisted again that I am. I lose my temper when she said my friends are just nice to me because I have money but if I will be the one who needs help, they would be nowhere to be found.
I left the house and slept in one of my friends house and I didn't let grandma know about it. My sisters told me she searched for me everywhere but then I just ignored their messages and turned off my phone.
**That was 7 months ago and I felt like it was just yesterday. In that 7 months, many things had happened to me which I considered as my karma.** I was now in a situation I did not expected for me to be in and I can't get out of this. If I can, things will never be the same as it was. I will never be free.
This is when I realized that my grandma was right. It's true. **Some friends will just stay with you when you're at your best.** When I am down, some of my friends will notice but most of them didn't care. They just ask me how I am and then they disappear.
*My friends are not here with me. I can always communicate with them but not the same as before since they already had work.*
*I was in a situation where I needed much help but I can't call someone. I want help from my grandma but I am too shy to ask. That's why I choose to solve the problem with my own. I am not complaining to God why He gave me this situation but I do ask for Him to give me the strength I need.*
**I should have listened to my grandma.**
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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Meet them
Yesterday's article was a bang for me. I did not know I was able to describe my exes until I finish writing it. It's just so funny to reminisce the types of people we dealt with before. Regardless of the impact they left in us, those people really and truly helped us how to become better. Without them in our past, we can't be who we are today.
We can't deny that our exes made us happy in some ways though it didn't work out good for us. I was happy I met my exes because I would not have something to share to you today. And I also like to share my experiences to my future kid (I only want one) and grandkids soon.
Let me continue what I wrote yesterday. By the way, I was also entertained by the comments there. Some of my friends want me to name drop lol but I think I can't since maybe one of these days, one of my exes will be joining read.cash too!
I also realized that among the exes types I mentioned -- the shy type, the boastful, the aggressive and the smart one, I realized I want to experience the aggressive one again. Charot! Maharot!
You can read the initial part of this if you haven't. 👉 Types of Exes. https://read.cash/@Marinov/types-of-exes-8b2c52db
Here are the rest of the types:
The ghost
This is a type of ex who's missing in action always. Like they are just there during the times they want to see you. Today, they're present and chatting you til' midnight but the day after, they will be gone without a trace. And because I am a girl, I don't want that ghost man to feel I am so desperate and I beg for his time so I just let him be.
The next day, he's up again and told me he was charging his phone. Really? For 24 hours? And then later, he would tell me he's out of load or data and asked me to give him/load him so we can continue talking. I gave him once but after that, he said he's sleepy and want to rest. What an excuse. So I just let him again do that. But I found out he was online on social media.
And after that, he never texted me again if he's already awake or not. Well, I regret not being able to say "Good night forever" to him.
As of now, I don't have any news about him.
The h*rny handsome
Yes, handsome but h*rny. I did not know he was like that. We met each other because my gay uncle gave my number to this man. I searched for his profile on Facebook and saw that he's so handsome, to be honest. So I responded to his texts and chats and after a week of communicating, he courted me but I want to see him first so we set our first date. We just met at the beach and I was shocked by the way he looked because he's too tall for me but still, his face looks the same on his Facebook pictures. Everything went well during that time for he was a gentleman. I said yes to him.
A week later, one my friends texted me if that guy and me are still in a relationship. I was quite nervous because I can feel something's not right. I replied a yes to my friend and after, she told me something so disturbing and discouraging.
She told me this:
I saw him with a girl making out in a cemetery just now. We passed by them. We could not see them because it's too dark but then my friend unintentionally focused the flashlight on the part of the cemetery where they are having something. I'm sure it's him.
(We have a cemetery here just along the way and it's too dark during night time since there's no light in there so you need to bring flashlight with you)
I was shocked so I just confronted him directly and he did not deny that. Now I don't want to be with a h*rny handsome.
Now he has two children already.
The walking money
I had this ex too who was rich. That's the only time I experienced the life of a girlfriend who's with a rich guy. Even though I did not tell him to buy me something, still he gave me and he gave me too much! He even gave money to my family too without me knowing. With this guy, I gained my weight since every time we had a date, he would always spoil me with food and I liked it as well.
Who wouldn't? Haha! My friends can attest to this too since whenever we want to have a drink and all, this ex would finance everything. He even bought a new car so we can have something to use during his stay here.
But then something happened between us and it's really my fault why our relationship ended.
He's still single today.
The Church guy
I also had an ex who's in a seminary and he's living in a church convent. He was always around when the priest is having the mass. He was a nice guy and good looking too. He had that fair and pinkish white skin and chubby cheeks. We knew each other through a 'Texting Clan' that was so famous before. We just use codenames in communicating because we can only knew each other during the eyeball or meet-up.
When we saw each other, he courted me after the meeting. And just because I was young then, I just said yes. We planned to see each other one night but he had a hard time since there's no vehicle already and their place is far from ours. But he's persistent to see me so he just used his bike to go to the place where I and my friends are having a drink. I thought he's joking but then he's not. Imagine he passed by 7 barangays to arrive in our place by just biking. Lol.
I like him but I don't like his scent because he smells like those flowers in the church. He's also telling me how to act properly like omg is he my mom?
He's nice and religious but the I guess nice guy is not for me.
This nice guy has a daughter now.
No string attached (his motto)
He was famous since he came from a well-known and good-looking family. We knew each other by face but not by name. It was during a family reunion that we got to communicate to each other. He asked my friend for my number and invited us to have a dinner in their house. As we get along well, he acted like my boyfriend and got so close in me. The night ended well and we decided to go home to not get too-drunk.
The day after that, he texted me he doesn't want any commitment or any string attached between us but then he wants us to be together. How's that possible? Hmm. I'm not into him in the first place so I cut connection with him.
It's very awkward when he messaged me just recently to continue our no-string-attached story. Lol.
Now, he's working as an international sea man too.
Yeah, I had quite a few exes before and I did not regret it. Haha! After all I did not give something to them so I did not lose anything. I still have types of exes to say but I think I'll do it separately again.
It's just so nice to recount the days when you had fun and learned lessons too! Let me know your experiences as well! Share!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
You can also reach me at marianovylhyn@gmail.com
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Types of Exes
Exes are somewhat part of our lives. Our past relationships helped us to become matured in handling future relationships. Without those experiences, we will not be wise enough to choose a better man if ever we will have another relationship. I believe in every heart break, comes a lesson. I cried once and I will never cry again. Charot!
There are exes that we forgot after the break-up just because we did not took the relationship with them seriously. Aminin! Para lang masabi na may jowa lalo na nung High School pa. Haha! That's why after the break up, the memory of that person fades instantly. In short, we did not felt pain during the break-up.
There are also exes that are really hard to forget and those are the ones who gave us extreme heartache. I also had this ex but as I remember him, I just remember the boy but I don't remember the feeling anymore. I am still grateful of my experiences with him for they taught me how to love myself first before loving someone.
This is just based out of my personal experiences. I can't think of anything to write today so I ended up writing about my exes. I dated quite a few guys when I was in High School so I am really familiar with some of the guys' moves. Not all men are the same though and I am not claiming in this article that all men are like this and that. Just describing the ones I dated. I was a bit excited about this since I will reminisce my past relationships may it be bad or good.
Anyway, am I the only experiencing such lag or any delay in the website? I had difficultly in viewing my notifications as well as the opening the articles.
Types of Exes
**The shy type**
I can still remember this boy though it was long ago since we broke up. I was in my first year of being a highschool student when I met him and he was in fourth year that time. I was just so young then when I entered the relationship so it's expected that I don't know how relationship works and I am shy too. We always saw each other since I need to pass by their room just to get to our room. He was sitting near the window and so am I too. That's the reason why we always exchange glances before. I don't know where he got my number when he texted me first. I replied to his text and that's how everything started. To make it short, we are in a relationship after two weeks of constant texting. We are so close in text but not personally. When we pass by each other, it was just like we did not notice each other's presence.
To make amends of that gap, we decided to have a date just by the shore. I brought my friend with me and when we arrive there, he was sitting already waiting for me. My friend left me there and gave us space. I sat beside him but not too close. He just smiled at me and then looked back on his phone. **I believe boys must initiate the conversation so I did not talk and waited for him to talk first. But, he didn't. Oh my, we just spent two hours there sitting and facing each other's phone without talking.**
I texted my friend to come near me so we can go home. After that date, I don't know if that's a date lol, our relationship still continued but just the same as how it started. Haha! **I just tolerated the kind of relationship we had since he was my crush too. But now, I don't want to date with a shy guy. I prefer someone who's talkative to keep up the positive vibes.**
**The boastful one (GGSS - Gwapong gwapo sa sarili)**
I also had this ex who was so full of himself. He think of himself as so highly which made him look like he's too over- confident. (Too na, may over pa haha! Basta gwapong gwapo sa sarili.) I just knew him through Facebook. We communicated for one week through chat and he decided to have a meet-up. He was handsome, that's undeniable and so my friends always tease me about him and would always want me to meet him.
We met at one of the boulevards here in our place. Gosh! He's so handsome but his attitude turned me down. **He would always look at his camera too see his reflection and fix his hair. He also showed me his exes** and told me that they're beautiful though I did not ask. Wow! He still had photos of his exes in his phone.
**He also told me about the girls he broke up with just because he was fed up with him.**
After hearing those from him, I told him I will buy snacks first but I actually went home.
The aggressive
I also met someone so aggressive that even if it's our first meeting, he wanted for something to happen between us. Glad that I brought a friend with me and was able to call my friend when the aggressive guy started to do something unwanted. At first, I thought he was a gentleman since he dressed nicely and he looked good as well. He seemed to be one of those guys who are really formal.
As we are talking to each other, I can already sense that **he's getting closer to me and started to put his arms around me. But minutes later, he used a little bit of his force so I will not be able to stop him from kissing me.** Glad that I had enough strength to push him away.
After that encounter, we never talked again. Why should I, right?
The smart guy
This is my ideal man. Someone who's smart and can teach me what I need to learn in life without making me feel dumb. This smart guy was my great love since I can still remember him and our past. Our relationship lasted for two years and if not because of me, being childish, we could have been together until now. **He was a consistent honor student (Top 1 in class). He knows how to sing too and has a very nice voice**. He became my crush when he sang on stage during one of the school programs.
There's this also one contest in school that he joined and my teacher let me join in too. I think that was extemporaneous speaking. So magkalaban kami. Haha! I won the contest and he won third place. He's smart but he seemed distracted that time making him not being able to deliver his answer well.
I do like him but I never thought of having him as my boyfriend. It was a long story why we became on so I will just write it in a different article.
And that's it, I dated the smart guy with a very good voice. Our relationship went well and we became each other's bestfriend. Oww how I miss seeing him in school. Because I was still in 2nd year HS that time and he's already graduating, we seldom see each other when he graduated. The reason of our break up is that I don't want to be in a relationship to someone who's far from me. Well, maybe because I was too young then.
He questioned me that time but then he can't do anything since I told him to stop. I do love him when we broke up and even with years we are separate, I still think of him.
Now he's already working internationally as a sea man and has been so successful in life. And single. 🤣 He is still sending me messages until now like random messages like sending me pictures of his pet husky, asking me if what are the good platforms/business to invest with and many things. But I can't entertainment him anymore since I am with someone already.
This has been too long so I'll make a list of the others tomorrow.
*Let me know about the type of exes you had too.*
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comments, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
Can you also help me welcome my friend? Pleasee! 🥺 You can also give her comments and suggestions for she's very open to it. Her username is @Ysabelle . You can check out her very first article as well. 👉 Brief description about myself https://read.cash/@Ysabelle/brief-description-about-my-life-a0450f50
You can also reach me at marianovylhyn@gmail.com
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Thank you so much for your sponsorship, @meitanteikudo! 😍🎉 I was not feeling so well today but seeing your name here in my notifs lighten up my mood. More blessings for you!
Am I living the life I want?
NO. I am not. What turned out was way different from what I planned. Far more different from what me and my grandparents planned. I graduated in college last 2019 and until now, I'm still not successful. You know graduating is not the finish line but the very first step towards the battle of real life. I took the Licensure Exam for Teachers and I passed. I thought that's my ticket towards the teaching world but then I was wrong again. My license was not a guarantee that I can get a teaching position. The license is just one of the requirements to be admitted in Teachers' ranking. Isn't it amazing? We work so hard to get the license only to find out it's just one of the requirements.
But then again, we need the job so we hustle again to be part of the Teacher's ranking. And take note, it entails money because you will not have your pertinent documents if without a fee. But I don't have much complain about it since it's for our own record.
After having all the pertinent documents, they will be submitted to the nearest Division office. And so I did. We waited for the schedule of demonstration and checking of documents. The schedules were out and so we went to the Division office. I passed the ranking and still need to wait for months for the final lists of registered applicants. Because of the pandemic, there was a delay in everything. The process and all about the ranking result took time. The absorbing of new teachers got a delay too.
That's why most of us who took the ranking were not yet called to start teaching. And so we need to wait again. Waiting has been our friend since we graduate. I believe my batchmates can attest to this for some of them are here in the platform. *Padajon gihapon ta mga mamsh!*
Until now, I can say that I'm not yet successful. I don't have a stable job yet, but I do have a current job which is online teaching but I don't think I can call it as stable job for things might change and maybe one day the ESL company might stop operating. That's the reason why I also searched for other ways to earn and am very glad to be able to find Read.cash. Not to brag but I do earn in this platform and this has helped me in my financial problem greatly. As much as I want to hodl, the greater the needs are also arising.
**My family has high expectation about me as well and I was confused if I would be happy about or be mad.**
Happy because they have trust in me and mad because I felt like I need to give everything I have with nothing left for me. I know I need to help them but providing all the needs would be too much. I need to work on my future too! Elder sons/daughters can relate to this. The pressure is real. But then again, we have this culture to put family first.
I don't have a stable job yet and I am not living the life we planned. Since I was a kid, my grandparents build the dreams. They dream for us to have our own house, own business, and for my siblings to finish school with my help. I didn't complain that time because I didn't know how hard it is to earn when you are an adult. But now that I know how it taste like, I need some time. And I do hope my grandparents will know that success really takes time. 😌
I am not complaining here. I just want to let out all the dramas in life. The drama of being pressured. Lol. I don't want dramas but then there are times we need it to vent our frustrations. Don't worry about me, I will be okay after I write this one. I am also planning to let my grandma read this. I need to be heard too. I do have my own problems as I walk this adulting life. I want then to understand me and have more patience towards my success.
*My time will come and I am sure I bring them alongside me always. God knows everything and He is just preparing me for bigger things I deserve. He didn't gave me the things I want in an instant for He knows what I truly deserve.*
**And for that, I will wait. I will work hard while I wait.**
**And someday, I can proudly say that I am living the life I want.**
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
You can also reach me at marianovylhyn@gmail.com
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Fun in the rain
How's the weather in your place today? How do you like it?
I am so happy to share with you that it's still raining in here. I just love it since it didn't rain for almost 2 weeks. Now, I rejoice because I won't make myself tired of going around the house where I can feel some breath of fresh air. **I was also a rain lover since I was a kid. Whenever it's raining, we would go outside and soak ourselves with the refreshing rain and also jump in the puddles.** We also play chasing game. Oh! Those were the joys the rain could give.
How about you? What can you say about the rain? What is it for you?
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Vivian Greene.
Even it's raining, let's not just stay in the house without doing anything. Let's dance with the rain. Rain should not stop the fun. Though your plans are cancelled, you can do recreational activities at home to have fun.
What are the indoor activities to do during the rain?
**Bake some of your cravings or your favorite cookies**
I don't know but rain makes us hungry real quick. I have experienced this many times though I eat a lot during breakfast. After 2 hours, I get hungry again. I guess the coldness made our body produce heat and producing heat uses our body's energy so we need to replace that energy though eating again.
( This is just how I view the process why we are getting hungry most of the time during raining. Lol. You can correct me, though just comment below ☺️)
To ease the hunger, we can bake something at home. In this way, we are not only staying at home but we are also practicing our baking skills while having fun at the same time.
Personally, I liked to baked cookies during rainy days and enjoy them with my favorite chocolate-milk drink.
I just baked them this morning! Come, try some! ☺️
**Solve puzzles**
This activity can be performed by adults and kids. This is very nice actually because it can sharpen ones mind. To make this more fun, you can have a contest on who will be the one to finish the puzzle and give rewards. Also remember to give puzzle that is suited with someone's age. Don't give kids complex puzzles that even adults find it hard to finish. Lol! Or else the game will be not fair.
**Make slimes**
Ughhh, slimes are heaven for me. Making slimes at home with family will be so much amazing. It is also a good bonding for the family. You can search on YouTube for it. There are actually a lot of tutorials there and the materials needed can be also be found at home.
You just need glue (depending upon the amount/volume of your choice), baking powder, contact lens solution, liquid food coloring and glitter (optional).
And tadaa! You can make your slime already. I do recommend Karina Garcia's Vlogs about Slime. Her videos are fun and exciting. https://youtu.be/O0pQWUL9eR8
Just click on the link to get to her YouTube channel.
**Read books and grab your favorite hot drinks**
Get comfortable under your sheets and read books of your choice. This can be the best thing you can give to your self. Your "me" time along with your favorite book could be exactly what you need on a rainy day. And don't forget your hot drink too!
**Clean** **and cook**
If you are really bored, cleaning could be an answer for it. You will not only enjoy, but you also cleaned the house. In this case, you save your time. If you have kids, you can also ask them to help and do take part in the cleaning. Let them sweep, fold the clothes, dust-off the windows or even teach them how to cook. If you don't have kids, then do it alone then. Haha! But, of course, make it fun by playing music. I can guarantee the feeling is just so nice and you won't even notice that you are already done with the tasks.
**Watch your favorite K-drama or Netflix series with snacks**
Watching movies never goes out of style when it's raining. I love watching movies on rainy days, I just don't know why. Haha! Maybe the calming factor of the rain makes me feel comfortable and watching my favorite movie is such a plus. I also love watching K-drama series and I know some of you here like it too! Is the Korean drama series "Nevertheless" a must-watch? I have seen several posts on Facebook regarding the movie and I am quite curious about it so I might watch it after writing this article. 😁
Let's binge-watch while the weather is nice! Wait, don't forget the snacks!
But of course, these things can be done only if you are available. Most of us are working even during rain. Just stay safe and keep hustling hard!
I will end it here and let you continue the drill. You can also write about the things you do during rainy days! Share share share!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my kind sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
Shout-out to my new sponsor, @Pichi28 🥰 Thanks friend! You made me happier than the rainy day.
You can also reach me at marianovylhyn@gmail.com
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@Marinov
