When I can't sleep, I....

Do you know what you're going to do just in case you can't fall asleep at night? Do you have that to-do list with you? Well, I do. Not being able to sleep at night especially when the occurrence is frequent can be disturbing.

It might be because of you, overthinking. Why do we overthink? Let me talk about it generally and it's up to you on how you will apply this generalization in every aspect of your life. Well, we want everything to fall into the right place thus, we think too much of how to get the work done perfectly. We think of the ways even though we know it's not possible just because we are afraid to fail. In other cases, we also worry of the things that are not yet happening. It's not bad to think of future happenings tho but when it keeps on hitting you consistently, you might be experiencing anxiety.

Way back 2017 when I was diagnosed with having an anxiety. The doctor asked me several questions like how's my study, do I go out and open myself to friends, do I exercise and the rest, I forgot. After answering those, the doctor said that I am afraid of the future that's why I am having panic attacks every time I am alone. I did not realized that I already have an anxiety because I just lived normally. I go to school, hang out with friends and do stuffs normal people do. Little did I knew that my education contributed to my anxiety. The doctor said to my grandma that she should not pressure me with my studies. She also said that being with friends is not enough when I am still reserved - meaning, I am with them but I don't open myself up completely to them. I should tell them whenever I got problems. In my case, I don't like telling my problems to others because for I don't want to be weak in their eyes. The doctor also added that I should go out and do some yoga.

After hearing these from the doctor, I realized that she was right and maybe the reason why I can't fall asleep at night was also because of my anxiety. The doctor gave me medicines but I didn't take even one pill because I don't want myself to be dependent on it. I prefer natural healing that's why I find ways to be well or else I will see a psychiatrist.

One effect of having an anxiety is not being able to sleep at night. So what did I do?

When I can't fall asleep, I...

• I go to the nearest store and buy flavored beer. I know drinking alcohols ain't good for anxiety but what can I do? This one bottle of beer lets me fall asleep soundly. One bottle of beer won't hurt eh? So yeah, I buy beer and drink alone. Don't worry this can't get me drunk. This is just a mild drink with lemon flavor. This just tastes like drinking juice for me.

The first sip/gulp feels like nothing. You won't be satisfied with it so you take another sip until you won't notice that you emptied the bottle already. Then after a couple of minutes, drowsiness takes over you.

That's the effect on me. It might perhaps be different with you though.

• I go out with friends and have a drink (sometimes). When the feeling is too strong and I just can't sleep even though I tried counting sheep lol I will text my friend for me to come or for them come over.

I don't know but having a bottle of drink with them makes me sleepy after. Unlike from the flavored beer, this drink has high alcohol content. I know some of you already tasted this one and have your own memories of 'The Bar Pink'. So how was it? Haha! We usually mix this alcohol with sprite, strawberry flavored juice and some ice. Once it is mixed well and already cold, it's ready to drink and the taste is just like a strawberry juice with no alcohol content.

The first sip is fine but when you'll reach half of the drink, you might say you'll go home to have your sweet dreams.

• I will cook something that's available in the fridge. Yeah, I know it's weird but I feel sleepy after I eat. This only applies after the dinner because eating dinner won't make me sleep after. It's too early and I can't sleep at 7 PM. So yeah, I cook something, eat then rest and after a while, I will feel sleepy.

What are your thoughts about these? What do you usually do when you can't fall asleep?

Whatever it might be, I hope that it will take you to good sleep. Anxiety is hard and some might say we can just control what to think for it is our brain. No, you can't say that. You don't know unless you are in the situation. If we can, then why would we choose to be sleepless? To overthink and to be afraid of something? No one wants that.

I am wishing you well tonight. Have a good sleep!

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