Never mind

It's not my problem but why am I affected? Why do I feel like I am involved in the situation? And that I am involved in the conflict? Am I just too assuming to think that I am part of everything or is it because my instincts are right?

Do you also feel that sometimes when someone we know is in trouble and we feel like we are too just because we have that connection?

Being away from home is very hard. You will not feel the comfort of your home regardless of how happy you are. Maybe you'll get used to the place you live but you will always long for the ambiance of your own home, of your family. But because you need to hustle hard for your family and for your own, you need to be away from them to build the dream. Little by little as you slowly build the dream, you are also breaking yourself softly.

I don't know what to write honestly. There are a lot of things occupying my mind for they aren't going anywhere regardless of how much I shoo them away. This is where my anxiety starts. When everything is piled up one over the other making my head heavy. I felt like my head is on the ground as I walk.

This morning, the feeling of discomfort arise. The people I am living with seem to have no peace. They always talk in an angry tone and loud voice. I know I should let them be because that's what they're used to but it's not what I'm used to which made me feel uncomfortable. I don't know but talking peacefully is seldom done in here.

My boyfriend and his brother are always fighting over motorbike. My boyfriend spent with the maintenance and repair of the motorbike but his brother did not. That's why when his brother would ask for the motorbike's key, my boyfriend would refuse making his brother angry. I understand my boyfriend because it's our money he spent over with the repair and now that the motorbike is of use, his brother wants to use it again.

This younger brother talks like a woman. I don't know but he got an attitude like a woman. He talks back to their mom with much to say non-stop. He does this to his older brother too and I can't do something about his attitude because I have no right to correct him.

The younger brother keeps on talking rudely and would always slam the door (they do it here always). Hearing their doors slam so loud is their home's nature. It seems like they're not in the mood all the time. I got used to it though. I should adapt everything here because I am the one living with them.

I just bear everything I hear and see but it's not all the time I am fine with those. There was a day when my boyfriend's mom and his younger brother talked about him. My boyfriend used the motorbike and his younger brother went to their mom to let her know that he will use it too. Their mom is always in favor of that younger brother so she got angry why my boyfriend used the motorbike. She said something unwanted towards him knowing that I was there listening. I was about to meddle with them but I think it's not my character interfere.

I felt so uneasy upon hearing them because I and my boyfriend have a connection. I felt like I am part of the problem. Never mind. I guess I was just overthinking. Again.

As I am writing this, the mom was again angry because of the ice cream seller. The ice cream seller was just selling but she got angry and told the man/seller that he should not sell ice cream during time of lunch. What???

Whatever. I am planning to move out anyway. These are charged to my experience that living with your boyfriend together with his family is not good all the time.

Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.

Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.

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Ciao! ❤️