Feel beautiful because you are.

My routine has never been the same since I gave birth. Before, I only took care of myself and everything I buy is for myself, to make myself look presentable. I tried a lot of skin care before and I also used three soaps when I take a bath. I can still remember when it was our payday, I used to go to shopping mall to buy what my mind thinks as important though it's not really necessary. I also liked to go to thrift shop or any ukay-ukay store because I loved to buy cheap but brand-authentic clothes for as low as $1. I admit I was too conscious of how I look and what clothes should I wear whenever my friends are there to fetch me. But now, everything has changed. A lot has changed and I don't know if I can go back or do the things I was used to before.

That is my pretty ball of sunshine, my daughter who is currently sleepy even though she slept the whole night. Well, it's an advantage for me because I will enjoy my sleep the whole night. Unlike before when she was still less than a month old, she will sleep during the day and wide awake during the night. I was really in a struggle that time and I thought of going back to work so we can hire a nanny or yaya who can take care of Clea instead of me. I was really in doubt of myself if I can really take care of a baby and if I can make it through because I was so exhausted. I felt like there's nothing left in me. One thing that I also hate in myself before is the thought that I am ugly, messy and incapable of doing the things I used to do. It's undeniable that pregnancy will change a woman's body, facial feature and emotions and I undergo all of these. There was a time when me and my boyfriend argued because I asked him to buy me skin care products that I used before but he questioned me if do I really need it and why can't I just use the soap that's available in their home. I felt my blood boiled because he already knew that I used to treat myself that way and why he wants me to stop it. I told him he met me being "maarte" so I will be "maarte" for the rest of my life and he can't change that.

After that argument, my boyfriend never questioned me again whenever we go to groceries and I would fill our shopping basket with a lot of skin care products. Well, surprisingly, he's also using my skin care products too. He can't complain because I am using my own money that I earned here and I also make sure that I already bought Clea's needs before I buy mine.

I am also glad that I am slowly going back to being me. I can now take a bath for as long as I want because I already told my boyfriend that he should let me take care of myself again. After all, he can also benefit from it because he won't have a "losyang" girlfriend. Charot! Just kidding. I am just doing this for myself. For my own contentment. I am not taking a bath for other people to say that I am neat. I take a bath because it makes me happy and clean. I am not wearing a lipstick just to get compliments from others but I wear it to have confidence for I have a very pale lips due to my anemia. In short, I am doing these all for myself and not to impress others and this is what I call self-love.

I know motherhood will really take all of our time but please, to moms out there, find a team, or someone to help you not just in taking care of your kids but also someone who will also take care of you, who will make you feel you are beautiful and you deserve all the time spent in your "kaartehan".

An advice from a mom who's also maarte. Lol. I don't think if this an advice tho but it's still up to you mommy. Do what makes you happy! A happy wife (mommy) makes a happy home.

Thank you fam for supporting me. I may not be able to respond immediately but I promise I'll make it up when I have the time. Thanks to my sponsors and to those people who upvote my posts. You guys are big help.

Ciao! ❤️