Seeing these archived memories from Facebook makes me realize that I was way better than before in many aspects. Although, this year was a blessing to me, nothing can compare how blessed and happy I was last year. I know I should move on and accept the situation I am in now for I cannot change a thing in the past. I tried. I tried many times to just forget what I am before, who I am with and where I am. They say everything will happen because it was destined to happen but for me, it happened because I let it happen. Sometimes I ask God why I am here living in the situation I planned to not live. It turns out that the things I try to avoid are the things that come first. And now that I can't escape from the situation, I guess my future is in trouble.
Who am I a year ago?
Just a College graduate who passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers. I went through a lot just to take the exam. Me and my grandma even had a lot of fights because of financial crisis. The review was not free and it was costly since I chose to be in one of the famous review centers. My grandma would always complain about the fee that's why I told her many times that I won't have the review and won't take the exam as well. I would rather apply for another job that doesn't require license. However, my grandma was so persistent in her desire about me becoming a professional teacher. She kept complaining about the money but would give after anyway.
To pass the LET is not a ticket to land a job in the teaching field that's why I applied for a temporary job while waiting to be deployed. We know the pressure is real when we're already college graduates but don't have a stable job. Even our neighbors are nosy about our success but the truth is that they're just waiting for us to fail so they have something to talk with. I admit the pressure from my family and the people around me made crave for immediate success.
A year ago, I applied in an Online Teaching Company while I was waiting for the Deped's call. I was so sick of hearing comparisons between me and my batchmates who were teaching in private schools and universities as part timers. I don't want to be left behind so I was eager to have a job that time. God is so good that He sent this Online Teaching Platform in our town. My workmate before informed me about the job since it's just newly launched in town thus, applicants are really needed. I applied immediately when she let me know but during the online interview, I was told to go to the center since my internet connection at home was not stable. Unfortunately, after that, I became demotivated because laziness came in and I chose night parties and hang outs than the job.
After three months, I was tired of going to parties and the desire to apply resurfaced. I contacted my friend who invited me to apply and she told me they still need teachers. Even though I was not prepared, I still went through the application process and I found it convenient since everything was done online. God is good to me because I was hired after.
Because I was hired, I chose to move near to my working place. It was so memorable to me since I met new friends and even friendly co-teachers who turned out to be enemies now. I should call them haters but I am not famous so I guess enemies would suit them right. Lol. I am still thankful because they made my journey wonderful. I also became close to @Murakamii.7 and @Joymae , my boardmates and workmates. Even if the memories we shared were a year ago, they're still fresh and I will always choose to go back and be with them in our favorite boarding house. I miss these girls because they're not afraid of breaking the office rules. Lol. And I miss frying eggs and beef loaf in a rice cooker.
A year ago, I also miss how happy and drunk I was during our late night parties. I went out with friends without worrying what time I should go home since I am staying in a boarding house and my parents wouldn't know. I remember I almost got into an emergency during one of our drinking sessions since I was not able to breathe because of too much alcohol intake. Glad that my friends are there to help even though they're drunk too! Lol. Because of them, I am still alive. I was also able to meet new friends and new crushes as well. One of my crushes was not here anymore since he went to Qatar the same date as my birthday so he was not able to attend and was not able to give me a mug as his gift. I also met a man who was really a husband material. He was very caring and would always put me at the top of his priority. He gave everything to me while we were on. He let me experience expensive dates and gave me gifts I never thought I would receive. Until now, even if it was a year ago, I still have all of his gifts with me. In fact, I am still using them. Until now, we haven't talked about the break up and I felt like we need closure. I just want to apologize politely and if possible, personally. We had a lot of happy memories that's why I can't forget him until now. He made me happy and I miss being happy with him.
A year ago, I was living with my family and preparing every meal was not part of my problem. I was just thinking about my friends' next hang out and what should I say as an excuse to my grandparents. I also missed my grandma's barbecues every night and how she would call me when it's time for dinner already. We would all eat together outside as we grill the rest of the barbecues.
The photo above was a memory from a year ago too. I just miss how carefree I was before. I like the way my smile looked like. I felt like I don't have the same smile now as before. Though I have reasons to smile today, I still can't deny the fact that I like me better a year ago.
Oh my! I think this reminiscing has gone way too much. I need to cut it and have my dinner first.
I do hope that you're not like me who's not so happy with what you have today. I wish you joyful days and contentment in life.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
Images are mine
Ciao! ❤️
Mamsh gwapa jud ak ay bisag isa ka tuig nang nilabay. Hays ma pressure man sd ko nga graduating ani mamsh huhu. Taad kaayug expecttaions sakoa tasma fail ra diay.