Burning emotions: I Declare Myself Free from Unworthy People
Date: 1st May, 2022
SundayHello family. Nice morning to shine up here and entertain you all. Glad to see you my friends. Friends, the most important persons of this world help us to feel easy in any awkward situation. I feel that too and I try my best to do the same thing to my friends. I rarely share my feelings with anyone and always try to hide emotions as well as my angers. I know that no one can help me with my inner feelings. Only I can handle it which I am doing it from the days I understand that I will be all alone in this path. But somehow people get to know about my situation. Some people understand my inner feelings. They point out that I'm mature by mind but a kid by heart. Did you people feel that too?
Last 10 days, I'm going through some emotional stages. I was completely insane in those days. I was checking on my nerves and consoling me that I would be completely ok. Maybe some of my articles make you people aware of it. The deep messages were hidden in those stories. I tried to make a way for those emotional feelings. I knew that if they stick with the situation, with me, I will not be able to write more or feel better. So I started talking to myself while looking at a mirror. I destroyed 5 glasses completely & shattered those pieces into dust. That's kind of rage is in me. I don’t know how people easily move on from their self broken beliefs. I can not or maybe I haven’t tried.
I slammed my stats through words & wrote those articles. I hide my emotions there & enjoyed talking with you people. But deep down my soul said that someone would definitely find that I'm not passing a good vibes. They would find out the saddest mood of mine. I console myself that no one would rise to ask. But the notification panel proved me wrong. @HermaniGinger @Jelena & @Lhes these trio found me & asked me about my situation. I was not that surprised but also not expecting that too. Thanks to these amazing souls. They care for me and that means a lot. At least they care. Better than a councillor or a doctor.
Slowly I made up my mind that I'm just disrespecting myself and my honour. This is my life and I'm training it to move forward. So it is my duty now to actually move on. To hell with everything and everyone who betrayed me, I'm throwing them out of my life. Enough sympathy has been shown to them. But not anymore. I'm not a puppet of their hands so that they could make me dance at any moment or walk me out. What have they done for me? Nope, they do not deserve my smile, they do not deserve my smile, they do not deserve my care. I'm happy with who I am and what I am. No need to change my attitude for anyone else. I choose not to be vulnerable now. From today I declare myself a independent one, a single guy who molds down the false attitude on footpath. No one need to show me or tell me how to love them. I am capable of it and I choose my way.
They think that my world will be not ok without them. Guess what, I ignore them on their faces. You think, you are cool? Having a glass of red wine and talking like a mature one, you think that makes you dear one? Sorry, my so called well wishers. The table is turned just upside down. It’s over. I'm not bending over again. I'm not be molded again. You tried but failed. Because I deny now. I have enough reasons to live a better life. I have plenty options to feel better. You know that very well. I, the Devil, hereby declaring myself the one who remains peacefully and helping others with kind heart, not choose to be vulnerable to anyone. Because I have seen those ugly faces. No matter what you do next, I will not return. So it’s officially over.
Inhaling & exhaling. I'm better now. Wow! That's cool to absorb the positive energy and get rid of inner negativity. I just pulled out my painful words. I hope I haven’t bothered anyone. Feeling much better now. Thanks my friends.
All the pictures here including the lead one are used from unsplash.com
Heartiest thanks to my buddy @qheer92 for renewing the care.
©Lucifer01
It's good that you've found a way to get rid of what's bothering you. Writing here helps a lot in such situations. In my environment, it is very popular in such situations to go to sessions with a psychotherapist. It can really help a lot. But you may not need it. Keep writing and everything is going to be fine.